The Old Fashioned Way (1934)
W.C. Fields: The Great McGonigle, Squire Cribbs in 'The Drunkard'
Quotes
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Dick Bronson : Mr. McGonigle, I've got to have some money.
The Great McGonigle : Yes, my lad, how much?
Dick Bronson : Two dollars.
The Great McGonigle : If I had two dollars, I'd start a number two company.
Dick Bronson : For two cents I'd quit.
The Great McGonigle : [to Marmaduke] Pay him off!
[Marmaduke gives him a two cent stamp]
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Cleopatra Pepperday : [after McGonigle takes a heavy fall] Marky, are you hurt?
The Great McGonigle : [sarcastically] No, I had the presence of mind to fall on my head.
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The Great McGonigle : [referring to Cleopatra] She's all dressed up like a well-kept grave.
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The Great McGonigle : [after Baby Albert has splashed soup over him] I don't know whether to eat from the coat or the plate!
Cleopatra Pepperday : [after Baby Albert throws McGonigles watch into a bowl of molasses] Oh, Albert! Look what you've done to Mr. McGonigle's watch! Oh...
[the watch is shown sinking]
Cleopatra Pepperday : Oh, I'm so sorry... Oh, Mr. McGonigle!
The Great McGonigle : It's all right.
Cleopatra Pepperday : He has such an impulsive nature.
The Great McGonigle : Yeah, just like my own. Don't apologize. It's all right. It's just a little child... it's just a little child.
Cleopatra Pepperday : Oh, he does the cutest things!
The Great McGonigle : That he does!
Cleopatra Pepperday : You should see him when no one's around.
The Great McGonigle : Oh, I'd like to catch him sometime when...
[Correcting himself]
The Great McGonigle : Uh, SEE him sometime when no one's around.
Cleopatra Pepperday : Oh, Albert, why did you do that?
The Great McGonigle : [Mumbling to himself] Bet the minute hand won't be a bit of use after this!
Cleopatra Pepperday : Mr. McGonigle, I hope he hasn't hurt your watch.
The Great McGonigle : [Sarcastically] Oh, no, how could you hurt a watch by dipping it in molasses?
Cleopatra Pepperday : Oh, he's never done that before.
[She titters]
The Great McGonigle : Well, I hope he doesn't do it again - not with this watch.
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The Great McGonigle : [In character in "The Drunkard," the play-within-a play] It ain't a fit night out for man or beast!
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Sheriff Walter Jones : When is Cleo gonna act in this show?
The Great McGonigle : Oh, yes, yes, yes. She'll probably go on right after the epilogue.
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The Great McGonigle : [as the boarding house guests are eating] The soup sounds good.
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Marmaduke Gump : [after McGonigle falls off the stage] Are ya hoited?
The Great McGonigle : No I'm not 'hoited'!