6 Day Bike Rider (1934)

Joe E. Brown: Wilfred Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harry St. Clair : Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. Simpson who has so kindly offered to show me how to ride a bicycle. When he gets through, I know you'll love every bone in his head.

  Wilfred Simpson : Yeah? Well, look, if you had more bone in yours, you wouldn't have to wear your hat all the time to keep the woodpeckers away.

• Wilfred Simpson : Gee! Oh, tiddlywinks!

• Wilfred Simpson : This is a fine kettle of fish!

• Wilfred Simpson : Where's your shotgun?

  Druggist : What's the matter? The bank being held up?

  Wilfred Simpson : No! An actor's running away with Phyllis Jenkins. Give me that gun!

  Druggist : Here, I'll get if for you.

  Wilfred Simpson : Well, hurry up!

  Druggist : Here you are. You're welcome to it; but, I don't think it'll do you much good.

  Wilfred Simpson : Why not?

  Druggist : Well, it ain't been loaded since Anna Hicklers been got married.

• Wilfred Simpson : Is Phyllis around the premise?

  Abner : Yeah, she give me a message for ya.

  Wilfred Simpson : Yeah, well, do you want to whisper it to me?

  Abner : Why should I whisper it?

  Wilfred Simpson : Oh, well, I thought it might be kinda mushy. What'd she say?

  Abner : Well, she said to tell you that she threw that stuffed owl you give her last Easter down the cess pool. She never wants to see you again and if you set your foot on the premise, her father's gonna sting your hide with a black snake whip.

• Wilfred Simpson : She better be careful. In the irritable mood I'm in today, I might just call off our engagement.

  Abner : Ah, she don't act like she's engaged to ya.

  Wilfred Simpson : Well, certainly not! She don't know nothin' about it. I never told her. If I did, she'd tell folks and I wanted to keep it a secret.

• Wilfred Simpson : Say, Abner, that is rotten milk! The cows get into some stink weed or something?

  Abner : That ain't milk! That's termite lotion! I've been pourin' it around to kill red ants!

• Phyllis Jenkins : Oh, bosh! I hope I never see you again.

  Wilfred Simpson : Oh, bosh... huh. All right. Don't forget the two people can bosh!

• Clinton Hemmings : I'm just on my way to the city with this load of bicycles behind me.

  Wilfred Simpson : Bicycles! Hey, that's my favorite sport! Oh, boy, what are they racers?

  Clinton Hemmings : Sure. Four of 'em. I'm gonna try and get in a 6 Day Bike Race.

  Wilfred Simpson : 6? Gee, that's a pretty good idea. Think I'll do it too.

  Clinton Hemmings : Can you ride?

  Wilfred Simpson : Can I ride? Oh, boy, I made a mile in 3 decimal point 2 semi-colon 3-10 flat!

• Clinton Hemmings : I got a message for ya.

  Wilfred Simpson : Yeah, what is it? Cablegram or radiogram?

  Clinton Hemmings : Telegram.

• Wilfred Simpson : Good sassafras! That news you just read turned my vitals over just like you flip a pancake on a hot griddle.

• Wilfred Simpson : This man enticed Phyllis Jenkins away from Mildew.

• Wilfred Simpson : All right, come on, take me to jail. Put me in a dungeon! Any place, as long as there ain't no women!

• Wilfred Simpson : Say, what kind of a jail is this? I thought I left word that if anybody called they was to say that I wasn't in.

• Wilfred Simpson : It's too late now. You sowed your field of wild oats, now sleep in 'em.

• Wilfred Simpson : I warn ya. If you put me on a whippin' post, you'll get a lot of pressure put on you from Mildew.

• Col. Jenkins : Where ya goin'?

  Wilfred Simpson : Goin'? Huh! I'm gone!

• Wilfred Simpson : More bananas!