The Midnight Patrol (1933)

Stan Laurel: Officer Stanley Laurel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Car Dispatcher : Calling Car Thirteen.

  Oliver : That's us.

  Car Dispatcher : Calling Car One-Three.

  Stanley : I thought he said Thirteen.

  Oliver : Shut up.

  Car Dispatcher : Look out, boys, somebody's stealing your spare tire. That is all.

• Oliver : Will you do me a favor?

  Stanley : What?

  Oliver : Let me do this *my* way once. Thank you. Now when I count three, we go that way

  [indicating the front door of the house] 

  Oliver : - - not *this* way!

  [indicating the water in the fishpond in which they are currently standing knee-deep] 

• Stanley : If you come back here again, I'll arrest you.

  Tire thief : Who will?

  Stanley : I... We will.

  Tire thief's partner : Oh, is that so?

• Stanley : [sympathetically watching the burglar pound on the sides of the safe with a hammer - - Stan never suspects that the man is really a burglar and not just the store's owner]  What's the matter? Did you lose the combination?

  Safecracker : [feigning exasperated embarrassment and disgust]  Yehhhss!

  Stanley : They're really hard to open, aren't they?

  Safecracker : Very!

  Stanley : Why don't you try hitting it over here?

  Safecracker : I've already tried it there.

• Stanley : [sitting in the driver's seat while Hardy examines the squad car's engine to see why it won't fire]  Maybe we're outta gas.

  Oliver : [glancing up from under the hood with his famous restrained-fury haughtily-arrogant gaze in reaction to Laurel's apparent incompetence]  Mind - - your own - - BIZness!

  Stanley : [reaches down to the dashboard and pulls out a large knob - - probably the choke or throttle - - causing a huge jet of clear liquid to shoot out of the intake-valve and straight into Hardy's face as he's peering down and tinkering with it]  What happened?

  Oliver : [disgustedly scowling back at Laurel with a drenched dripping face]  We're NOT out of GAS!

• Oliver : We're just in the nick of time.

  Stanley : What time is it?

  Oliver : [disgusted]  What time is it? Get out!

• Police Sergeant : What's the charge?

  Stanley : Robbing a house without a license.