- Benford's Tough Son: So, you're the guy that hit my father on the head.
- Dentist: Yes, you want to make anything out of it.
- Benford's Tough Son: [socks him in the jaw]
- Arthur - The Iceman: [rising to the Dentist's defense] I'd like to see you do that again.
- Dentist: Is it necessary for him to do it again?
- Dentist: [as an unconscious golfer that he hit in the head with his ball is dragged away] Get those teeth out of there, too, they're right in my lie.
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: [after her father has patted her on the derriere as she looks into the ice box] Fifty pounds and chop it fine.
- Dentist: [reading from a newpaper] "Mrs. Unclebeck..."
- [looking up when her words have sunk in]
- Dentist: What do you mean, "Fifty pounds and chop it fine"?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Oh, I thought you were Arthur.
- Dentist: Who's Arthur?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: He's the man I intend to marry.
- Dentist: Oh, well, don't tell me anything about it - I'm only your father. I can read in the newspaper. What does he do for a living?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Well, he's the iceman.
- Dentist: [shocked] An iceman?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Yeah, he goes to college. He's a Cornell man.
- Arthur - The Iceman: [voice from outside] Iceman.
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Red Grange was an iceman.
- Dentist: He's still an iceman as far as I'm concerned.
- Miss Peppitone - Patient: [nervously] You won't hurt my leg, will you? My doctor says I have a very bad leg.
- Dentist: [looking at her shapely leg] Your doctor is off his nut. I don't believe in doctors anyway. There's a doctor lives right down the street here. Treated a man for yellow jaundice for nine years - then found out he was a Jap.
- Dentist: Shall I use gas?
- Miss Peppitone - Patient: [nervously] Well, gas or electric light. I'd feel nervous to have you fool around me in the dark.
- [first lines]
- Dentist: Where are my glasses?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: They're on your head.
- Dentist: Oh, yeah, thanks. Where's the newspaper?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: You're sitting on it.
- Dentist: Where are my golf clubs?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: In your golf bag.
- Dentist: Yeah, but, where's the golf...
- [trips]
- Dentist: ...bag?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: You just fell over it.
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Where's the ice?
- Dentist: In the icebox!
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: There's just a little piece left. Now I'll have to get some more.
- Dentist: Keep that iceman outta here! I'm going to order a Frigidaire.
- Dentist: Where's my cap?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: You never wear any.
- Dentist: Oh, yeah, that's right.
- Dentist: Open that door!
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: I can't. You locked me in.
- Dentist: Where's the key?
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: In your pocket.
- [last lines]
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Father, you're not *really* going to buy a Frigidaire, are you?
- Dentist: [turning in a huff and addressing Arthur the Iceman in an gruff "okay-you-win-but-I'm-not-happy-about-it" tone] Fifty pounds of ice and make it snappy.
- Mary - Dentist's Daughter: [leaps into Arthur's arms for a joyful kiss, relieved that her father has accepted her beau]
- Dentist: Don't stand behind when I'm shooting!
- Dentist's Caddy: You told me to stand over there, sir.
- Dentist: Never mind where I told you to stand. You stand where I tell you!
- Dentist: [to his assistant who is frantically trying to get his attention about the patient screaming in pain in the waiting room as he tells a golf story to another patient] Oh, to hell with her!
- Dentist: A dog bit you?
- Miss Peppitone - Patient: Yes. It was a little dachshund. What a little tiny dog.
- [bends over, backside to the Dentist]
- Miss Peppitone - Patient: He sneaked right up behind me and he bit me right like that.
- [pointing to her ankle]
- Miss Peppitone - Patient: And I was standing with my back to him and here he was, this little dog, who bit me - right - here!
- Dentist: [looking at her backside] You're rather fortunate that it wasn't a Newfoundland dog that bit you.
- Miss Peppitone - Patient: [screams] Oh, Doctor! I can't let you do that again!
- [hurries out of the room moaning]
- Dentist: [talking to his Dental Assistant behind the chair while patient Miss Mason eavesdrops on the conversation] When I tell you to go out and tell one of these palookas that I'm out, go out and tell them I'm out. Don't have these buzzards walk in on me.
- Miss Mason - Patient: [thinking the piece of fallen ceiling plaster the Dentist pulls from her mouth is a tooth] Why, it came out easily, didn't it.
- Dentist: Yes it did. Yes it did. A surprise to me.
- Dental Assistant: Relax. Would you like a drink?
- Miss Mason - Patient: What is it?
- Dental Assistant: Water.
- Miss Mason - Patient: No, thanks.
- Dentist: [referring to his patient, Miss Mason] Is that female wrestler gone?
- Dental Assistant: Yes, she's gone.
- Dentist: Have you ever had this tooth pulled before?
- Miss Mason - Patient: No!
- Dentist: This won't hurt you - much.
- Dentist: [referring to his caddy] That kid's so dumb, he doesn't know what time it is.
- Charley Frobisher: Say, by the way, what time is it?
- Dentist: I don't know.