Pardon Us (1931)

James Finlayson: Schoolteacher

Photos 

Quotes 

• Schoolteacher : You spell "Needle!"

  Oliver : [pause]  N-E-I-D-L-E.

  Schoolteacher : There is no "I" in needle!

  Stanley : Then it's a rotten needle.

• Schoolteacher : Now, what is a comet? You!

  Prisoner : A comet. A comet is a star with a tale on it.

  Schoolteacher : Right.

  [points to Stan] 

  Schoolteacher : Name one.

  Stanley : Rin Tin Tin.

  Schoolteacher : D'oh!

• Schoolteacher : We will now have the roll call. Those that are here will answer "present." Those that are not here will say "absent."

• Schoolteacher : We shall now have an intelligence test. Who was Columbus?

  Prisoner : The mayor of Ohio.

  Schoolteacher : [pause]  What did he do?

  Insurgent Convict : He died.

  Schoolteacher : Well, of course he died. Who killed him?

  The Tiger : Cock Robin.

  Schoolteacher : Who said *that*?

  The Tiger : I did.

  Schoolteacher : [pause]  Correct.

• Schoolteacher : What is a blizzard?

  Stanley : A blizzard? A blizzard is the inside of a buzzard.

  Schoolteacher : Fresh, huh?

• Schoolteacher : How many times does three go into nine?

  Stanley : ...Three times.

  Schoolteacher : Correct.

  Stanley : And two left over.

  Schoolteacher : [nods; Ollie begins to giggle]  What are you laughing at?

  Oliver : There's only one left over.

  Schoolteacher : D'oh!