Pat West: Sailor

Quotes 

• Sailor : Oh boy, I wish I was back were I just came from. Spain, sunny Spain.

• Sailor : [singing]  I tried to jolly a little hot tamale, but I didn't get very far. This Spanish tomata, made me serenade her, each night on my Spanish guitar...

• Sailor : [singing]  I'd play a tune on Spanish guitar, she'd start to wiggle her Tra-la-la-la-la...

• Sailor : Oh boy, trouble, I got the most trouble. I got family trouble - there's a lot of people in my family. I don't know where they are. The police could tell ya.

• Sailor : I got one sister who's fatter than I am. She weighs, eh, she weighs four pounds less than a horse. I'll tell you how fat she is, she fell down the other day, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up. But, a great girl. You'd like her. She's ambitious. She wants to work. Can you picture a fat woman wanting to work? She read an ad in the paper, said, great opportunity for a girl with a large corporation.

• Sailor : You know, I got another sister who's exactly the opposite. Very thin. She looks like a model for a gas pipe. There's a girl who could run through a flute without hitting a note. She's more like a tree. She's all limbs and full of sap. But, she works. She's a kind of a model. She poses for pictures of animal crackers.

• Sailor : One of them said hey, listen here, do you realize you're driving 40 mph in a 20 mile zone? My sister said, why that's all right, there's two of us.

• Sailor : I got a brother, can draw you a picture of any jail in the country, from memory.

• Sailor : They tell me it took millions of years to build the Grand Canyon. I knew right away it was a government job.

• Sailor : My father is talented in a drinking way. You know, drinks anything: glue, shingle stain, shellac. Who don't? The other day he drank a gallon of gasoline. It took nine men to back him out of the garage. Can you imagine, Pa went in, put a nickel in the electric piano, waited there a half hour for the orange juice to come out.