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- New Pork E. Pine's employee Pete develops a crush on a fellow co-worker, while Ian and Anton believe he is an undercover cop who is after them.
- Ian trains Dinger to wear the Porky suit so he can represent the restaurant on a TV commercial.
- Lori and Anton try to distract a health inspector from the restaurant's various violations, while Pete works up the courage to ask out Mads.
- Anton installs a security camera to try and catch a hobo he thinks is living in the restaurant. Meanwhile, Mads offers Ella a place to stay, then must take it back when she discovers how untidy she is.
- Mads invents a healthy pizza, but then must deal with the pizza being contaminated and an old rival showing up to review her creation.
- Ian contemplates the choices he has made in his young life, while Anton tries to use a nude portrait of Lori to blackmail her into stopping a company yard sale of the restaurant's various lost and found items.
- Dinger finds himself in a power struggle with Mads over his nerdy fan group.
- Ian tries to pick up moms using the Porky suit, while Mads tries to take back her new first aid class from Dinger.
- Dinger must impersonate his arcade rival when he dies, just as he gets a world record score that could improve the restaurant's image.
- Anton gives Ella the task of finding guests for his fancy party, but things get weird when she posts the invite on Craigslist.
- Anton tries to find Lori the perfect bachelor, while Mads and Pete confront their feelings for each other.
- Ian creates an executive position for Anton in response to Lori's strict restaurant schedules.
- Anton must find a way to fix the restaurant's finacial problems when a miscalculation on his new coupon scheme threatens to bankrupt the business.
- Mads becomes addicted to sugar after flunking out of nursing school, while Ian and Ella draft Pete for a heist after discovering his "criminal" record.
- Ian is taken hostage by fruit smugglers after discovering their stash, and the rest of the gang must decide if loosing Ian is really a bad thing.
- Ian and Anton compete for the affection of a kid who they believe may be the biological son of one of them.
- Ella goes through an application process to be Ian's friend, while Pete tries to gain more respect with the help of a possessed fake beard.
- Lori competes in a competition against the business next door for ownership over the alleyway between the two buildings.
- Mads' and Pete's attempts to spice up their relationship are interrupted by Ian and Anton's opposite senses of humor.
- After getting hit by a car, Mads returns as a ghost to fulfill the one thing she never did in life: have sex with Pete.