After cleaning my entire room and getting it to the point where my mother would find it acceptable, I sat on the rug in front of my bed and I shit my pants on purpose. I couldn't believe what I was doing as I was doing it. I remember feeling that this was really over the line, that it was a thing that my baby self would do and that I had certainly moved past it. The poop was soft and hot and really out of my body and really in my underpants. I remained calm.