The weirdest thing about a house is that it's got locks to keep the baddies out, but they're mostly used to lock ourselves in.
Your love is one in a million, You couldn't buy it at any price. But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other possible loves statistically, some of them would be equally nice.
The Australian comedy circuit is kind of small, and big in the most inconvenient ways. There aren't many venues, and the ones we have are hundreds of miles apart and separated by mountains. That's probably why so many of us come to the UK.
If you open your mind too much, your brains will fall out.
It's quite hard being right in the face of people who are wrong without sounding like a fuckwit. People go "do you think the vast majority of the world is wrong", well yes. I don't know how to say that nicely, but yes."
Love without evidence is stalking.
[on composing songs for musical theatre] The job isn't writing songs. The job is deciding when to write a song.