- Rock journalism is people who can't write, preparing stories based on interviews with people who can't talk, in order to amuse people who can't read.
- I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
- I've smoked ten marijuana cigarettes in my life. And they've given me a sore throat, a headache, and made me sleepy. I can't understand why anyone would wanna use the stuff. It seems such an impractical pastime as you can get sent to jail for it.
- Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.
- Some rock musicians make a bunch of money and stick it up their noses--I stick mine in my ear.
- Work is the only reason I leave home. I'm not a tourist. I don't travel for pleasure. I don't take vacations. I only leave the house when I have something to do.
- [Asked to create an anti-drug abuse slogan] Speed will turn you into your parents.
- [Explaining why he felt communism was doomed to fail] People like to own things.
- [in the late 1980s] Religion has mostly proven to be a real-estate scam.
- Censoring what you say is one of the ways in which people who are not nice can take away your personal freedom.
- It is probably more natural to perform sex with a sea urchin than to be interviewed.
- Watch out where the huskies go, don't you eat that yellow snow.
- Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
- My dad was employed as a meteorologist at the Edgewood Arsenal. They made poison gas there during World War II, so I guess it would have been the meteorologist's job to figure out which way the wind was blowing when it was time to shoot the stuff off.
- [During an appearance in 1986 on CNN's Crossfire (1982)] The biggest threat to America today is not communism. It's the turning of this country into a fascist theocracy and everything that's happened during the [Ronald Reagan] Administration has put us right down that pipe!
- I think business is a good thing. Generals could learn a lot from corporate executives. The first rule is, you don't kill your customers.
- [about himself] We live in a world of basic stereotyping. All a guy needs is a big nose and weird hair; with that, he's capable of anything.
- Those who are crazy enough to take the chance on spending money to make some unusual object or event take place are an endangered species.
- Jazz isn't dead, it just smells funny.
- I think Live Aid was the biggest cocaine money laundering scheme of all time.
- A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it isn't open.
- If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
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