- [2007] I now haven't smoked anymore for nine months, I rebelled against 40 cigarettes a day and nonetheless I caught myself letting my mother smoke in my apartment. Because she says: "You have become a square."
- [What is the meanest comment you ever read about yourself?] "You look like that actress from Game of Thrones, Brienne of Tarth" or whatever her name is.
- [Joko und Klaas gegen ProSieben (2019); he and Andreas Nowak have to guess whether it is Klaas Heufer-Umlauf or Joko Winterscheidt who is currently holding/petting either a baby rabbit or a tarantula respectively] Excuse me, what, please?! [host Steven Gätjen repeats question] Please... Is it [the tarantula] a real one? [giggling nervously after Gätjen confirms it is]
- [Joko und Klaas gegen ProSieben (2019); taking a look from a distance at the tarantula Klaas Heufer-Umlauf is holding quite contentedly] Whoa, f**k! Can it jump? [Steven Gätjen: Yes.] If it can jump, I will go over there. [walks further away from the spider] Oh my God, that is really disgusting! That is... unbelievable!
- [Do you also use your status as a well known person in real life?] Never. I am also not that aware of it. It is others who regard you as a celebrity. I like to keep out of this and put my hood up. If this status exists, I don't want to use it. If a name helps at work, helps a project materialize, it is alright. But in my personal life I would never do that.
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