The Revenge of Something Old, Something New...
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- DirectorKurt NeumannStarsDavid HedisonPatricia OwensVincent PriceA scientist has a horrific accident when he tries to use his newly invented teleportation device.
- DirectorEdward BerndsStarsVincent PriceBrett HalseyDavid FrankhamPhilippe Delambre, the now-adult son of "The Fly", does some transportation experimentation of his own.20th Century Fox had a relationship with theatre chain owner Robert Lippert. Lippert's poverty row studio shot 10-20 pics a year on a budget of 100 grand each and sadly RETURN OF THE FLY was one of them. It was released hot on the heels of the classic original as a double feature with THE ALLIGATOR PEOPLE. Neither were a hit with critics or audiences but both have developed a cult of admirers thanks to late night creature features and streaming services.
Edward Bernds was a well-liked hack remembered fondly for a handful of strikingly bad films including THE THREE STOOGES MEET HERCULES, THE BOWERY BOYS MEET THE MONSTERS, THE QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE and this drastically inferior sequel to THE FLY. His script was a 10th rate rehash of the George Langelaan short story published in the pages of Playboy magazine. The only returning star was top-billed Vincent EDWARD SCISSORHANDS Price cast in the supporting role of Francois Delambre & the character of Inspector Beecham recast with the forgettable John THE BAT Sutton. You'll also see the laboratory set recycled to offer something by way of production value.
Handsome Brett RETURN TO PEYTON PLACE Halsey plays Philippe Delambre; a scientist obsessed with perfecting the disintegration / integration chambers that lead to his fathers' mutation. His concerned uncle (Price) warns his nephew of the danger but he doesn't listen & is soon the victim of patent thieves David KING RAT Franklin & Dave ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN Seymour. The swindlers turn a snoopy reporter into a were-guinea pig and the Delambre heir into THE FLY II. Will his French bride to be (Danielle VALLEY OF THE DRAGONS De Metz) keep her 'love tryst' with the monster or is the movie poster writing cheques the director couldn't cash?
RETURN OF THE FLY was doomed to fail anyway but did I forget to mention It was also shot in B&W just to save a few bucks? These people cared nothing about the fans! A sickly circus giant named Ed THE PHANTOM CREEPS Wolff plays the fly-monster quite badly. He stumbles around in a ridiculous, over-sized bug head. The man who ruined the make-up completely was Hal Lierley who was probably better known for applying lipstick to the ladies in THE BIG PRODUCTION OF 1938. RETURN OF THE FLY is so notoriously BAD it can be enjoyed as a guilty pleasure but if you love THE FLY it'll still break your heart a little. Unexpectedly followed by the obscure THE CURSE OF THE FLY in 1965. - DirectorDon SharpStarsBrian DonlevyGeorge BakerCarole GrayMotorist Martin Delambre attempts to keep evidence of his family's bizarre experiments in teleportation hidden from his wife, who is hiding secrets of her own.THE FLY is recognised as one of the finest science fiction slash horror films of the 1950s. THE RETURN OF THE FLY eventually became a fondly remembered cult classic and is considered one of the worst movies ever made. This off-kilter and slightly belated sequel from England wasn't widely seen outside the U.K. The director was Don Stroud and THE CURSE OF THE FLY was more of a traditional, gothic movie as were his earlier Hammer hits RASPUTIN: THE MAD MONK and THE KISS OF THE VAMPIRE. This unfashionable-at-the-time B&W Fly-less 'THE FLY sequel fell off the map after a brief pairing with 1965s THE DEVILS OF DARKNESS on the drive-in circuit which was too bad because I liked it a lot!
After a series of horrific experiments the Delambre family is as infamous as the Frankensteins. Henri & his eldest son Martin have fled their notoriety in Quebec for the English countryside where their terrifying work continues. Their teleportation device creates human deformity, brain damage, genetic mutation and may even be addictive! These two guys cannot stop. If they weren't crazy enough a woman escapes from the nearby insane asylum & after hitching a ride with the 'widowed' Martin quickly marries into the family. Turns out the one you've really gotta keep your eye on is Martin's insanely jealous & grotesquely disfigured wife Judith who is let out of her cage at night to prowl the estate!
Harry THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS Spalding wrote this intriguing & occasionally gruesome film which was inspired by a short story published in Playboy magazine. Actors George THE RUTH RENDELL MYSTERIES Baker, Carole ISLAND OF TERROR Gray & Oscar nominee Brian GAMERA: THE INVINCIBLE Donlevy are as good as you'd see in any QUATERMASS film. Harold THE EARTH DIES SCREAMING Fletcher very effectively designed the gross make up special effects and Basil THE RETURN OF MR. MOTO Emmett applied the evocative cinematography.
I like THE CURSE OF THE FLY even more today thanks to the 1986 franchise reboot from producer Mel Brookes. David Cronenberg's stomach churning remake featuring Jeff Goldblum as the obsessed teleportee resonates strongly with this under-rated shocker. The theme of watching your deformities evolve with each teleportation makes this macabre B movie the perfect way to transition into the second series. If you haven't seen it don't be too afraid to have a look. - DirectorDavid CronenbergStarsJeff GoldblumGeena DavisJohn GetzA brilliant but eccentric scientist begins to transform into a giant man/fly hybrid after one of his experiments goes horribly wrong.Brooksfilms was a studio best known for comedy hits like TO BE OR NOT TO BE, SPACEBALLS and DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT so Mel Brooks development of this remake of the fondly remembered horror pic from 1958 came out of left field. Hiring David Cronenberg to direct also raised some eyebrows. Cronenberg was known for a string of gruesome low budget shockers including RABID, SHIVERS and THE BROOD which generated as much controversy as they did scares. Charles PSYCHO III Edward Pogue shared scripting duties with the now-revered Canadian film maker in adapting the George Langelaan short story that was published in the pages of Playboy magazine. This riveting shocker is among their best work and rates 10 out of 10 stars. It's a masterpiece that's equal to THE EXORCIST pound for sickening pound every harrowing step of the way from frightening beginning to nerve wracking end.
Oscar winner Gena THELMA AND LOUISE Davis and Academy Award nominee Jeff JURASSIC WORLD DOMINATION Goldblum simply catch fire onscreen together and were famously a couple IRL when THE FLY was in production. They radiate chemistry like Fukushima radiates Strontium-90. You won't take your eyes off either of them for a second. She plays an ambitious reporter who unexpectedly becomes personally involved with an eccentric inventor who claims have built a teleportation device. Seth Brundle's telepods aren't perfect the lovers soon discover when the scientist teleports himself becoming accidentally fused with a stowaway fly. The young man's body begins to mutate as his insect form come to stomach churning life. As if that wasn't revolting enough, Veronica is being stalked by a jealous ex (John DOOM PATROL Getz) while trying to wrap her head around the fact she's pregnant by a monstrously deformed genetic freak. These 3 actors effortlessly carry the entire weight of this unforgettable film on their experienced shoulders. Joy TERROR TRAIN Boushel & George PROM NIGHT III: THE LAST KISS Chuvalo have been gifted a memorable scene or two to try and steal. The small cast is truly exceptional!
Howard Shore who has composed the score to most of Cronenbergs' films and half a dozen for Martin Scorsese sets the grand guignol tone of THE FLY. The London Philharmonic Orchestra's music saturates every scene with operatic atmosphere. Shore won 3 Oscars for THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy but this excellent score which reminded me greatly of SCANNERS is my all-time favourite evocative piece he's written. As deserving of Academy Awards as many who poured their hearts into this genre defining blockbuster certainly were only Chris Wallis and his special FX team took home a statuette for their vomit inducing transformation sequences. Many saw Brundle's hideous transformation as a metaphor for HIV being that it was a film produced during the very real pandemic (not like the fake one we got stuck with today) sweeping the globe at the time.
Michael EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY Bigelow, Ted THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT Ross, Leslie VIBES Mullgrave, Hoyt NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION Yeatman, Clark THE DEAD ZONE Johnson and Louis SCANNERS III: THE TAKEDOWN Craig all deserve nothing but the highest praise. These practical fx are arguably even more visceral and unsettling than the creature effects seen in AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON or the 1982 remake of THE THING by John Carpenter. The Oscar winning Walas who got his start with Roger Corman's PIRANHA, UP FROM THE DEPTHS and HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP would be invited back to direct THE FLY II in 1989. Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid! - DirectorChris WalasStarsEric StoltzDaphne ZunigaLee RichardsonThe almost-human son of "Brundlefly" searches for a cure to his mutated genes while being monitored by a nefarious corporation that wishes to continue his father's experiments.I'm not a gorehound but love horror movies.THE FLY and it's gruesome sequel were made for gorehounds and are every bit as nauseating as the old school practical effects fans remember from genre classics THE THING or THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2. David Cronenberg's stomach-churning remake of the 1958 sci-fi masterpiece THE FLY earned an Academy Award for Chris Walas, Inc's unforgettable creature designs. The company's namesake was invited to direct the sequel when Chronenberg declined. THE FLY's endlessly charismatic stars Jeff Goldblum & Gena Davis also refused to sign on for THE FLY II. Goldblum pops up via outtakes deleted 3 years earlier while Veronica was badly recast with Saffon FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN Henderson. Her character dies during the opening scene while delivering Seth Brundle's mutant son.
Seth was himself infected with insect DNA because of his experiments with teleportation pods at the time Veronica became pregnant. With both parents dead Anton Bartok (Lee THE EXORCIST III Richardson) assumes guardianship of the orphaned Martin Brundle. The boy is afflicted with rapid aging syndrome and is a genius like his father. Bartok hopes the boy will finish the work on the gene-splicers Seth accidentally invented. By the age of 5 Martin is now old enough genetically to be played by Eric Stoltz who got his start in hits like FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMOUNT HIGH, MASK & PAPER DOLLS. He's a terrific actor with an impressive body of work on this resume even today. He's paired opposite Daphne MELROSE PLACE Zuniga as a Bartok backshift employee who befriends and quickly beds the young inventor. The age difference is never permitted to be a plot point. Later, when the lovers flee the lab and turn to Veronica's ex (John DOOM PATROL Goetz), Slathis states Martin's age; 5 and the actress isn't even allowed a reaction shot. The writers are to blame for setting up the awkward coupling but honestly Zuniga is an awful actress & this is one of her more tolerable performances. Not only do they not catch the silver screen on fire the way Davis/Goldblum had, they generate no chemistry.
Martin begins to transform into THE FLY II and is held captive by Bartok who intends to keep him as a lab specimen reflecting the diabolical Delambre experiments carried out in 1965's THE CURSE OF THE FLY. The man/boy who emerges from a gooey larval stage as THE FLY goes on violent rampage killing the scientists who were unkind & the guards who were mean. Seth Brundle went a little crazy during his metamorphosis to explain his frightening behaviour but his son has no such excuse. Unlike Seth Martin knows exactly what he's doing although the script glosses it over like his age. The disgusting killings towards the end included a man's face melting because of fly puke and another's head being squished by the decent of an elevator. Either killing could have warranted the sequel an 'X Rating' for gore. It's the scripted short cuts that undermine THE FLY II's integrity. It's hard to root for a hero who arbitrarily murders 4 characters.
Mel Brooks claimed he's never seen so much studio interference on a film. Walas was helpless against the Fox execs who wanted a cheap, gory horror pic teenagers would go see. Enough did to merit this moderately praised shock-fest a third instalment but Brooks, Cronenberg and even Walas expressed no interest in moving forward with The Fly 3. Mick CRITTERS 2 Garris adapted the famous short story written by George Langelaan in 1956. Jim and Ken Wheat who worked on several forgettable sequels including THE STEPFORD HUSBANDS, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE II & THE BIRD II: LAND'S END contributed to the flawed screen play with Frank THE BLOB Darabont applying the polish. The outstanding make up designs & puppetry deserves the majority of THE FLY II's limited success. Jayne THE DEATH OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK Dancose, Steve VENOM Davis, Dennis TOTAL RECALL Pawlik & Jo-Anne THE SHADOW Smith each deliver special effects guaranteed to leave your stomach twisted in knots! They're getting an extra star for their sensational effects which will keep your eyes glued from start to finish. 6/10 - DirectorWilliam A. LeveyStarsJohn HartIvory StoneJoe De SueEddie is a Vietnam war veteran who loses both his arms and his legs when he steps on a land mine. A brilliant surgeon is able to attach new limbs, but his assistant switches the DNA injections, transforming him into a huge hulking monster.A lawyer named Frank Saletri cobbled this cultish blaxploitation pic together as a labour of unrequited love. He wrote, produced and even helped design the terrible special effects hoping to capitalise on the mini boom in the black horror film industry brought about by ABBY, THE HOUSE ON SKULL MOUNTAIN and especially BLACULA. He unwisely peppered the cast with clients or friends very few of whom would ever 'act' again.
Joe Desue plays (badly) a limbless war vet offered a chance to reattach fresh arms and legs via an experimental injection of DNA The well-meaning Dr Stein's drug turns the man into a 10th rate rip off of Universal's classic monster. And we're not talking Karloff either. Desue isn't even in the same ballpark as Glenn Strange! The also-unknown Ivory Stone is equally worthless as the heroine. The only names in the cast were John THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN AFRICA: MIGHTY JUNGLE AVENGER Hart as Stein and the obscure Liz DESPERATE LIVING Renay as one of the cannibalistic monsters future snacks.
In addition to the mediocre cast BLACKENSTEIN: THE BLACK FRANKENSTEIN was crippled by bad makeup designs and special effects. The producer contributed to the substandard visuals but Ken Sticktaden handled the bulk of the work obvs. Stricktaden was an experienced FX artist who worked on THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN early in his career. By the time he got around to making this he was reduced to grade Z movies like DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN so don't expect much.
William THE HAPPY HOOKER GOES TO WASHINGTON Levey is defeated as director every step of the way from the start. Genre addicts may feel obligated to have a look but most folks will wisely not bother. There's only a few moments of entrail fondling & flashed boob to catch your eye. It's not even remotely similar to Mary Shelley's classic novel and not nearly as good as FRANKENSTEIN 1970 or LADY FRANKENSTEIN which were playing the drive in circuit at the same time. BLACKENSTEIN's barely on par with DR. BLACK AND MR. HYDE. - DirectorWilliam SterlingStarsFiona FullertonMichael JaystonHywel BennettAlice (Fiona Fullerton) falls down a rabbit hole and into a magical dream world populated by surreal characters and bewildering adventures. It's a journey of self-discovery for Alice as she searches for a way out of Wonderland and encounters many bizarre creatures such as the White Rabbit (Michael Crawford), the March Hare (Peter Sellers), the Queen of Hearts (Dame Flora Robson), and the Dormouse (Dudley Moore). Musical highlights include the inspiring song "The Me I Never Knew".Following closely on the musicals SCROOGE and WILLIE WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY England's Rank Studios helmed this frugal (yet faithful!) adaption of the novels ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND and ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS by Lewis Carroll. The classic children's fantasy novels were cherry picked for the best scenes we all remember vividly and written almost verbatim from the page by William Sterling who also directed.
After a nationwide talent search future Bond girl Fiona A VIEW TO A KILL Fullerton was cast as an older Alice but she plays the part to perfection & has a sweet singing voice. This beautifully cast musical featured a dream ensemble including Peter THE PINK PANTHER Sellers as March Hare, Dudley 10 Moore as Doormouse, Ralph WHOEVER SLEW AUNTIE ROO? Richardson as Caterpillar, Fiona HEIDI Robson as Queen of Hearts & Michael HELLO, DOLLY! Crawford as White Rabbit.
The costumes and makeups were exceptionally well done for the early 1970s. Stuart Freeborn would go on to create the dazzling creatures for George Lucas initial STAR WARS trilogy. Much of the matte work & opticals were very capably applied by Roy Whybrow who worked on SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE, SUPERMAN II & SUPERGIRL. The cinematography was from Oscar winner Geoffrey Unsworth who worked similar magic opening up the claustrophobic movie stages as he did for MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS.
And now; The Bad News...as a musical ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND sucks! I thought Don Black's lyrics were monotonus & entirely forgettable. That's especially noticable when juxtaposed to the spoken dialogue which crackles. He did the slightly rancid songs for Disney's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST II: AN ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS too if you really want to know why I hate the man. There's not a quotable line of music or a catchy tune to be heard. The score was written by multiple Academy Award winner John Barry who's done everything from the COTTON CLUB to HOWARD THE DUCK. Their bland soundtrack is a minor deal breaker for me.
Distributors were looking for the something that would sell a million tie in albums and so this cultish kid's movie was ignored. By the 80s it had become a staple for companies who sold public domain titles to the VHS market. I'd recommend this surreal, colourful cult classic any day of the week but not as a musical. - DirectorFritz KierschStarsPeter HortonLinda HamiltonR.G. ArmstrongA young couple is trapped in a remote town where a dangerous religious cult of children believes that everyone over age 18 must be killed.Stephen King wrote CHILDREN OF THE CORN as a short story he sold to Penthouse in '77. The mediocre story was one of the higher profile lesser works King saw filmed along with MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, THE LAWNMOWER MAN, THE MANGLER & SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK. George BLUE MONKEY Goldsmith adapted the tale for 1st time director Fred GOR Kiersch. Donald MEATBALLS 4 Borscher who owned the rights got it made on the cheap at Roger Corman's New World Pictures.
This meh slasher pic benefited enormously by the casting of Linda Hamilton as the female lead. Hamilton's career was about to get white hot with the launch of James Cameron's THE TERMINATOR and the cultish BEAUTY AND THE BEAST series on CBS. She was probably the main reason why this forgettable tale of demonic kids murdering adults rented as many units as it did back in the days of VHS. Peter Horton who co-stars as Hamilton's husband was also about to get very famous for his work on THIRTYSOMETHING.
The children are driven to genocide by a demon called He Who Walks Behind the Rows. A 25 year old gay, humunculus actor named John CHILDREN OF THE CORN 666: ISAAC'S REVENGE Franklin assumed the villainous lead. The shrill and odd looking '12 year old' orders the adults killed unless they can escape the possessed Nebraska town.
Pornographer Joao Fernandes handled the cinematography. This and FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER would be among his 1st mainstream work. The bloodless horror action was thrown together by a small team led by Paula CRITTERS Lombard, Max JAWS 3-D Anderson and Wayne FRED 2: NIGHT OF THE LIVING FRED Beauchamp. Followed by 2 remakes in 2009 & 2020 and a slew of mostly unwatchable sequels. - DirectorDavid PriceStarsTerence KnoxPaul ScherrerRyan BollmanA journalist and his son travel to Nebraska to investigate the mysterious town of Gatlin where, unbeknownst to them, a murderous cult of children are still waiting in the corn fields.CHILDREN OF THE CORN II: THE FINAL SACRIFICE was the long unanticipated sequel to the 1984 New World pic CHILDREN OF THE CORN and to the forgettable 1977 short story that appeared in Penthouse magazine. The demand for any brand associated with Stephen King was at it's peak even if he never contributed anything beyond a recycled concept to the franchise. King wisely washed his hands of every instalment after the 1st.
Gilbert Adler & A. L. Katz wrote this tongue in cheek sequel bringing with them the same juvenile sense of humour they casually displayed writing the campy HBO anthology TALES FROM THE CRYPT. I'd describe this as cute at times like their TALES FROM THE CRYPT: BORDELLO OF BLOOD had been but never really clever. David SON OF DARKNESS: TO DIE FOR 2 Price was hired to direct & does an okay job despite being the boss' son. Price sustained career ending box office injuries soon after filming the gender bent flop DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE so this is technically his 'best' work.
Terrence ST. ELSEWHERE Knox play a single father struggling to keep his teenage son on good terms while the pair explore the town of Hemingford. They're in pursuit of the story of what happened in the nearby community of Gatlin, Nebraska. What went down in Gatlin was genocide. A demon called 'He Who Walks Behind The Rows' compelled the kids in town to murder all the adults. Hemingford opens it's borders to the creepy teens blissfully unaware they're next. Paul THE VAN DYKE SHOW Scherrer played Knox' son who falls under the influence of the corn shucking schmucks.
Ryan THE NEVER-ENDING STORY 3: RETURN TO FANTASIA Bollman plays the leader of heathens and while he's 10 000 times better an actor than John Franklin had been as 'Isaac' in parts 1 and 666 he's also quite forgettable as the villain. Christie A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE Clark, Ned HOUSE IV Romero & Ed Grady padded the bland cast. Only Grady would return to the franchise as Dr Appleby in CHILDREN OF THE CORN III: URBAN HARVEST.
The 'light hearted' supernatural slashings plaguing Hemingfod were plentiful. This is a bloodier continuation that reminded me of PROM NIGHT III: THE LAST KISS in tone and execution. Gary HELLRAISER: REVELATION Tunnicliffe, Steven WAXWORKS II: LOST IN TIME Painter and Bob FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE Burton all pitched in with the special effects, not that it helped much. This would be the last CHILDREN OF THE CORN movie to earn a theatrical release until 2020's regrettable reboot. - DirectorJames D.R. HickoxStarsDaniel CernyRon MelendezJim MetzlerTwo brothers connected to the murderous children's cult of Gatlin, Nebraska are taken to Chicago by an adoptive couple.Anthony WAXWORK II: LOST IN TIME Hickox produced this above average CHILDREN OF THE CORN sequel for his less talented brother James who's 1st & best movie this was. It was based on a story written by Stephen King very early in his career for publication in Penthouse magazine. The story was credited to Dode ANGEL 4: UNDERCOVER Levenson who also owned the rights to the film franchise. The screenplay itself was polished to a dull shine by Mark Greenberg who has done several interesting genre movies including H20: HALLOWEEN TWENTY YEARS LATER, THE PROPHECY 2 and the 2019 adaption of King's novel PET SEMATARY.
Daniel DEMONIC TOYS Cerny and Ron THE UNBORN II Melendez play orphaned brothers taken in by a wealthy couple living in Chicago. Eli & Josh lost their parents when a satanic entity calling itself He Who Walks Behind the Rows ordered the genocidal purge of every adult in their hometown of Gatlin, Nebraska. Eli is still possessed by the demon and like Damien from THE OMEN franchise will kill anyone who stands between him and the apocalypse and that includes his new foster parents played by Jim MEGIDDO: THE OMEGA CODE 2 Metzler & daytime tv superstar Nancy GENERAL HOSPITAL Lee Grahn. While Eli imposes his evil influence on his new class mates Josh tries to fit in and make friends. Josh finally takes steps to end his brothers' reign of Amish terror when it's revealed the nibblets Eli smuggled out of Gatlin will transform any child who eats them into a murderous devil worshipper.
Nancy Lee Grahn is one of the most under rated actresses I know. Despite her handful of Emmy wins she's barely seen in anything but GENERAL HOSPITAL so it was a treat seeing her in a featured role outside her comfort zone. All of the actors are fine but hats off especially for the casting of Charlize MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Theron & Nicholas BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Brendon before they were famous.
CHILDREN OF THE CORN III: URBAN HARVEST stands head and shoulders above every other film in the franchise because of a terrific burst of special effects during the chaotic & bloody finale. John CARNOSAUR Crawford, Tom RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3 Rainone and Screaming Mad BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR George stole the show in the final reel when He Who Walks Behind the Rows emerges to smite the unbelievers in a public schoolyard. It's a showstopping sequence sure to make a horror fan smile. Followed by the non sequitur CHILDREN OF THE CORN IV: THE GATHERING. - DirectorGreg SpenceStarsNaomi WattsJamie Renée SmithKaren BlackA nurse returns to her hometown in Nebraska, only to find that the town's children have fallen under a mysterious mass illness connected to its sinister past.CHILDREN OF THE CORN IV: THE GATHERING has an impressive cast for a nondescript, direct-to-video, horror pic. Oscar nominee Naomi MULHOLLAND DR. Watts, ANOTHER 48 HOURS' Brent Jennings, Jamie HIDDEN CANYONS Smith, William MURDER SHE WROTE Windon & everybody's favourite Scream Queen Karen Black fill the marque with talent. Poor Karen HATED working on so many low budget genre movies after Dan Curtis' TRILOGY OF TERROR made her as iconic as Barbara Steele had been for DARK SHADOWS. She did add a touch of class and credibility wherever she went. A young Mark Salling played Watts son whose soul is in peril from a reincarnated minister. Salling would become a regular on GLEE. He would be charged with possession of child pornography in the new millennium & committed suicide before sentencing.
The other cast member of note is a guy named Brandon Klayla who I only saw in one other movie: GODS AND MONSTERS as a young James Whale. Klayla is almost as annoying & distracting as the vengeful Josiah as John Franklin had been in the 1984 original & CHILDREN OF THE CORN 666: ISAAC'S RETURN.Josiah is poisoning the minds of the children, forcing them to kill the adults. It's up to Watts to save her town from the haunting evil of He Who Walks Behind the Rows or lose her kids. Aside from the bizarre casting choice of Klayla as the central villain this is a perfectly watchable B grade pic. It's biggest flaw may be that it's something you'll quickly forget.
The handful of killings were staged without much enthusiasm by Michael TRANSMORPHERS Del Rossa & Wayne FRED: NIGHT OF THE LIVING FRED Beauchamp on special effects. Greg Spence only wrote/directed one other film; THE PROPHECY II which I also thought was okay but he went on to produce hits like GAME OF THRONES and THE LAST OF US. I think he made the best of a situation that was not ideal. A proper special effects budget would have helped. Followed by CHILDREN OF THE CORN V: FIELDS OF TERROR. - DirectorEthan WileyStarsStacy GalinaAlexis ArquetteEva MendesSix college students on a road trip take a wrong turn and end up trapped in a strangely deserted rural town inhabited by a murdeous cult of children.CHILDREN OF THE CORN V: FIELDS OF TERROR was the 5th video in a seemingly endless series of low budget horror movies based on a Stephen King short story published in Penthouse circa 1977. Most of the adaptions share an informal continuity constructed on the premise of a demon called He Who Walks Behind the Rows compelling anyone under the age of 18 to kill everyone over. This non sequitur instalment is set in a vacant farming community where a few corn worshipping older 'kids' wait for unwary travellers. They are led by Ezeekial (Adam CHILD'S PLAY Wiley) and one the few old people still alive in Destiny Falls. Aside from Luke (John KILL BILL VOL 2 Carradine) only the bartender (Kane JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY Hodder) & sheriff (Fred DETECTIVE MALONE: BLACK COBRA 4 Williams) remain; there's no adults left...that is until Allison and her friends drop by for an unexpected visit.
Allison (Stacy KNOTS LANDING: BACK TO THE CUL-DE-SAC Galina) is searching for her brother Jacob (Davino THE PROPHECY 3: THE ASCENT Buzzotta) on the eve of his 18th birthday. She and her boyfriend Greg (trans actor Alexis SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK...AGAIN! Arquette) believe the cultists intend to sacrifice their hostage to a living ball of hell-fire hiding in the grain silo. Ahmed JACK FROST Zappa, Eva GHOST RIDER Mendes, Angela PULP FICTION Jones, Greg CHARMED Vaughan & Olivia DISASTER AT SILO 7 Burnette round out the rock solid cast all of whom deliver substandard performances. I was going to give CHILDREN OF THE CORN V: FIELDS OF TERROR an extra star for that intriguing ensemble but they aren't good so I can't. The franchise attracts better known talent because of it's commercial ties to one of the world's best-selling novelists. King was simultaneously suing companies like Dimension to keep his name off their straight to disc/streaming sequels. The only one I'd ever recommend was CHILDREN OF THE CORN III: URBAN HARVEST but the CHILDREN OF THE CORN pics are frequently loaded with A-list star power. The extra star goes to the casting directing partnership of Robyn PUMPKINHEAD II: BLOODWINGS Ray & Ed KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE Michell who were the only ones who attacked their job with enthusiasm.
I watched CHILDREN OF THE CORN V: FIELDS OF TERROR on VHS in the late 1990's & again on disc in the new millennium. This was my 3rd viewing which was required because the ending was so ineffectively staged I forgot exactly what happened. Being old as F*** I'll graciously accept some of the blame but the lion's share of blame goes to the special effects crew who were hamstrung by Harvey Weinstein's penny-pinching. Wayne CHILDREN OF THE CORN IV: THE GATHERING Beauchamp, Conor MIRROR, MIRROR 2: RAVEN DANCE McCullagh, Ken THE UNHOLY Wheatley, Jason DUNE Netter, Susan BATS Corbin & Shant GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE Jordan entirely failed to knock my socks off. Even the pyrotechnics were meh. I'm forgeting their finale again as we speak. Ethan Wiley was the writer/director who's claim to fame was the horror/comedy HOUSE from 1985. He hasn't made anything worth watching since and this isn't even half as good as it's continuation HOUSE II: THE SECOND STORY. Followed by the even less appealing CHILDREN OF THE CORN 666: ISAAC'S REVENGE. 4/10 - DirectorKari SkoglandStarsNatalie RamseyGary BullockAlix KoromzayAs a teenage girl comes to Gatlin to find her biological mother, the town's infamous cult plots a comeback as their leader, Isaac, awakens from a coma.Gay, humunculus actor John Franklin (at this point nearly 40) is back...playing the 12 year old cult leader he became famous for in 1984's CHILDREN OF THE CORN! What a TERRIBLE actor!! He was as bad an actor as he was a writer. He and his 'writing partner' at the time Tim Sulke concocted this unbelievable direct sequel to the original New World production & the 1977 short story written by Stephen King. King by the way was actively suing studios to keep his name off trash like THE LAWNMOWER MAN 2: BEYOND CYBERSPACE, THE MANGLER REBORN and CHILDREN. OF THE CORN 666: ISAAC'S RETURN.
Isaac has been recovering in a sinister town with a sneaky doctor (Stacy OOGA-BOOGA Keach) & a suspicious cop (Nancy POLTERGEIST III Allen) nearby waiting for a special girl to restart the cycle. Hannah (Natalie CRUEL INTENTIONS 3 Ramsey) fled Gatlin, Nebraska but is haunted by premonitions that He Who Walks Behind the Rows will impregnate her. She better stick close to the hot, new guy with the motorcycle to stay safe. Pope BEVERLY HILLS 90210 Popowich is the corny unholy one in case you needed help figuring the twist ending out. Everything is a flatly delivered cliche with the only surprise being how awful the actors are for this entry. Franklin though is a scene killer! He generates unintentional laughter unfortunately.
Lesbian director Kari Skogland is mostly known for her capable handling of special effects heavy series like THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER and FEAR OF THE WALKING DEAD but there's really not a lot by way of visuals for her to work with. There's more side boob nudity than violence and precious little of that! None of this direct-to-video rehash of ROSEMARY'S BABY is the least bit suspenseful or frightening.
Lori Anne THE DENTIST 2: BRACE YOURSELF Baker, Larry PROJECT SHADOWCHASER 3 Fioritto & Roy THE AMITYVILLE MOON Knyrim all contributed to the lacking & lackluster special effects. Followed by CHILDREN OF THE CORN VII: REVELATION. - DirectorGuy MagarStarsClaudette MinkKyle CassieMichael IronsideWhen a girl named Jamie repeatedly tries to contact her grandmother to no avail, she investigates by going to her apartment in Omaha Nebraska....only to find that it's been condemned and overtaken by possessed children! As she digs deeper, she discovers a dark secret about her grandmother & awakens a dark, demonic force that wants Jamie dead and will stop at nothing.Dimension released this 7th CHILDREN OF THE CORN home video which was casually based on Stephen King's over-rated 1977 short story. S. J. Smith who scripted the okay-ish SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INITIATION fails entirely to deliver the scary goods with this tepid tale of ghostly kids haunting a shabby apartment in Nebraska. Some of the cliched material could have worked better but was poorly translated to the screen by director Guy Magar. Magar was too inexperienced having only 1992's THE STEPFATHER III under his belt and doesn't bring one iotas of enthusiasm or energy to this bland production.
Canadian actress Claudette STEPHEN KING'S KINGDOM HOSPITAL Mink stars as a woman lured to her missing grandmother's apartment searching for clues. A priest (Michael SEAQUEST D.S.V. Ironside) pops up briefly to warn her of the dangerous mute children lurking around the property and then serves no other purpose in the muddled storyline. The kids are apparently tied to a field of corn growing nearby but He Who Walks Behind the Rows is only mentioned briefly towards the end to explain why they're killing the adult tenants. The only other actor I sort of knew was Kyle HELLRAISER: HELLSEEKER Cassie as one of the endangered adults. The young actors cast as possessed kids aren't worth mentioning and weren't the least bit frightening despite the unusually high (for this impoverished franchise) bodycount.
Rachel NICK FURY: AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D. Griffin handled the make up FX with an uncredited assist from Bill THE DEATH OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK Terezakis. Chad HELLRAISER: REVELATION Goel and Jamison AMITYVILLE: AWAKENING Goel applied the unimpressive special visual effects but in all fairness they didn't have much cash to play with. Alan EMPIRE OF ASH III Benjamin added almost nothing by way of practical fx. The kills are there along with gore and nudity but it's presented in a flat and generic fashion.
The execs at Dimension and producer Joel PULSE II: AFTERLIFE Soisson are responsible for this low-rent cash grab. The production design by Tim LEPRECHAUN: ORIGINS Hanson looks murky and cheap like Joanna HALLOWEEN: RESSURRECTION Mazur's ugly sets. The cinematographer (Danny FLESH GORDON 2: FLESH GORDON MEETS THE COSMIC CHEERLEADERS Nowak) was utterly defeated from the opening credits on, imo. The score Steve PROJECT SHADOWCHASER III Edwards turned in is so ineffective it's hard to imagine why he was hired. As bad as CHILDREN OF THE CORN VII: REVELATION is the worst was yet to come! Followed by CHILDREN OF THE CORN: GENESIS in 2011. 2 /10 stars - DirectorDonald P. BorchersStarsRobert GerdischJordan SchmidtDavid AndersWhile traveling, an unhappy married couple encounter a cult of murderous children who worship an entity called He Who Walks Behind the Rows.Donald Borchers is a producer know for a handful of quirky and cultish flicks including LEPRECHAUN 2, MEATBALLS 4, VAMP and THE BEASTMASTER. He owns the rights to the short story CHILDREN OF THE CORN which was published in the pages of Penthouse magazine in 1977. Stephen King's tale is similar to the 1974 ABC Movie of the Week; ALL THE KIND STRANGERS but not nearly as good. Borchers who produced the sub par 1984 version starring Linda Hamilton & Peter Horton wrote/directed this more-of-the-same remake recast with Kandyse BATTLESTAR GALACTICA McClure and David ALIAS Anders. The casting is problematic because the film is set between the early 1960s-1970s. Legal marriage between straight men and women from different ethic groups was forbidden till 1967. The overt racism this couple would have faced in that time and place isn't addressed and so the whitewashed script simply doesn't ring true. I'n knocking a star off for that deliberate lapse.
Kandyse and Anders are capable actors working with a formulaic B-movie script. They play (unconvincingly) an unhappily married couple who become stranded in Nebraska town where the adults have been mysteriously murdered. The children have been possessed by a demon named He Who Walks Behind the Rows. The corny entity ordered them to kill anyone over the age of 18. Preston DEXTER Bailey, Rob MAN OF STEEL Gerdisch & Dan DORIAN GRAY Newman as the dangerous older kids are well cast. The premise which the best-selling author sold to Penthouse was made clear 35 years ago; the kids have sex very early on in life and make babies. It's not something any of the CHILDREN OF THE CORN movies care to discuss openly but if you're sacrificed at 18 you have to start procreation very early. Who doesn't know?
David COBRA-GATOR Miller provided the occasional CG elements for this SyFy tv movie while a small team of practical fx and make up artists failed to generate shock and awe with a short list of relatively gore-less killings. Alan SORORITY HOUSE VAMPIRES Tuskes, Beki BOOGEYMAN 3 Ingram & Phil MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION Carbonaro don't contribute much worth mentioning. I was a little bored watching and their minimal effort was a huge contributing factor. Borschers would go on to produce an even worse version of CHILDREN OF THE CORN in 2020 while Dimension cranked out their next official sequel in 2011; CHILDREN OF THE CORN: GENESIS. 4/10 stars - DirectorJoel SoissonStarsJ.J. BanickiDiane PetersonKai CasterA young couple try to free an imprisoned child with catastrophic results.Joel Soisson was responsible for a string of 10th rate horror videos at Dimension including HOLLOW MAN 2, PULSE II: AFTERLIFE and THE PROPHECY: FORESAKEN before Harvey Weinstein got talibanned by the metoo mob. He hasn't worked much since the Jewish film maker was exiled to prison I'm happy to say. CHILDREN OF THE CORN: GENESIS was the 8th film in the franchise that evolved from Stephen King's forgettable short story and was obviously thrown together by the studio at the 11th hour in order to maintain sequel rights. It had been a decade since 2001's CHILDREN OF THE CORN VII: REVELATION & Weinstein had to manufacture a sequel or kiss the brand goodbye just as he'd done with the HELLRAISER franchise. Soisson steals the plot to the classic Rod Serling short story It's a Good Life that made it to tv screens as a 3rd season episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
In this depressing, uncredited bastardisation of Serling's beloved story a charmless child actor plays the last of the CHILDREN OF THE CORN. He lives in a shed behind a abandoned farm house controlling the lives of those around him as effortlessly as he does with toys and dolls. Cultish genre actor Billy TREMORS 4: THE LEGEND BEGINS Drago appears as the boring farmer who warns a newlywed couple of the dangers they face from He Who Walks Behind the Rows. This tedious video isn't scary or gory. The cast is bare bones and hardly worth mentioning so don't get your hopes up for a body count. This is easily the worst of the disreputable franchise. It rates 1/10.
Chad HELLRAISER: REVELATION Goei, Brandon AQUAMAN Millenta and James CATS AND DOGS: THE REVENGE OF KITTY GALORE Pina handled the next to non existent visual effects. The car wreck footage was clip material borrowed from an action video. This had nothing by way of production value. Dimension would continue to hold up the license to the brand straight on through 2018's CHILDREN OF THE CORN: RUNAWAY. - DirectorJohn GulagerStarsMarci MillerJake Ryan ScottSara MooreThe plot of Children of the Corn: Runaway follows a young pregnant Ruth who escapes a murderous child cult in a small Midwestern town. She spends the next decade living anonymously in an attempt to spare her son the horrors that she experienced as a child. She lands in the small Oklahoma town, but something is following her. Now, she must confront this evil or lose her child.This would be the 9th film in the CHILDREN OF THE CORN film series (10th if you include the 'poachy' SyFy TV movie reboot from 2009) & while it's not the worst entry in the disreputable franchise it's close. The absolute worst instalment was 2011's CHILDREN OF THE CORN: GENESIS which Dimension threw together at the 11th hour with hack writer Joel Soisson to retain sequel rights. It's the same cheap trick they pulled again. This isn't so much a movie as it was a sleazy business maneuver. If Dimension cared one bit about the tattered remnants of their fanbase they wouldn't have hired Soisson.
Joel Soisson has written numerous rancid sequels to several horror franchises; THE PROPHECY: FORSAKEN, HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD, PULSE 3, HOLLOW MAN 2, DRACULA III: THE ASCENSION, PULSE II: THE AFTERLIFE, etc, etc and you know yourself none have been any good and neither is CHILDREN OF THE CORN: RUNAWAY which was casually directed by John FEAST II: SLOPPY SECONDS Gulagar.
The unengaging Marci DEATH RACE 2050 Miller plays a teen mom who burns the town of Gatlin, Nebraska to the ground to escape the CHILDREN OF THE CORN (a story written by Stephen King for Penthouse back in 1977). 13 years pass & Ruth is raising a son who may be the human incarnation of He Who Walks Behind The Rows if her frequent visions & dreams are to be believed. The ROSEMARY'S BABY angle entirely fails to work. The premise fell flat on it's face with CHILDREN OF THE CORN 666: ISAAC'S RETURN back in 1999 too as you may recall.
Matthew HELLRAISER: JUDGEMENT Gardocki provided the cheap CG. A few ghostly dream kids commit a few not scary killings but it's pg 13 gore & there's also almost no nudity. CHILDREN OF THE CORN: RUNAWAY exists to retain sequel rights. I find that boring. You'll also spot the ending(s) coming from miles away. Followed by a 2020 reboot. - DirectorKurt WimmerStarsElena KampourisKate MoyerCallan MulveyThe film describes the events leading up to, and including, the massacre of the adults of a small town in Nebraska by their children, after the adults' irresponsibility ruins the crop and the children's future.
- DirectorEarl BellamyStarsRobert CulpMartin MilnerBarbara HersheyAfter several weeks of heavy rainfall, the dam above Brownsville is ready to burst. But the town's mayor refuses to open its gates - paving the way for disaster.All-star disaster movies like AIRPORT, EARTHQUAKE and HURRICANE weren't just filling up the movie theatres throughout the 1970s. The thirst was real with TV movies like THE DAY THE EARTH MOVED, THE DEATH OF OCEAN VIEW PARK and A FIRE IN THE SKY hauling in the ratings via network TV. Uber producer Irwin BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE Allen who was widely promoted as The Master of Disaster was no stranger to success on the small screen with TIME TUNNEL and LOST IN SPACE under his belt. NBC hired him to produce this very entertaining three hour 'movie event' concerning a small town in danger from a defective dam.
Allen surrounded himself with folks he'd worked with before on numerous classic film and network series. Director Earl Bellamy was responsible for hundreds of hours of unsung quality television having worked on GET SMART, FANTASY ISLAND & THE MUNSTERS. Don Ingalls is remembered for cultish TV movies like CAPTAIN AMERICA and THE INITIATION OF SARAH. Genre fans also fondly remember him for the iconic AIRPORT 1975. I don't think the adventure they cooked up warrants a 3 hour timeslot frankly. Mostly it's the same disaster movie cliches you've been watching since the original THE HURRICANE back in 1937.
Here's the selling point; the cast. Robert THE NIGHT THE CITY SCREAMED Culp, Barbara THE STUNT MAN Hershey, Richard VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA Basehart, Carol THE ELEVATOR Lynley, Roddy THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE McDowall, Ann THE MAN THEY COULD NOT HANG Doran, Cameron HANGING BY A THREAD Mitchell, Martin S.S.T. DEATH FLIGHT Milner and Gloria TITANIC Stuart help bloat the run time nicely.
L.B. THE TOWERING INFERNO Abbott handled the old school practical effects which looked okay under cinematographer Lamar CODE RED Boren's practised eye. The soundtrack & production design were also mapped out by long time Allen collaborators Richard THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN NEMO LaSalle and Stan LAND OF THE GIANTS Jolley as if you needed another reason to watch.
50 year old television movies may be a hard sell in the new millennium but if you're a fan of the flashy producer or the genre FLOOD! is worth a look back. - DirectorEarl BellamyStarsErnest BorgnineVera MilesPatty DukeA convict starts a fire in a forest to cover his escape, but the fire goes out of control and threatens to destroy a small mountain community.FIRE! was the 2nd of 5 disaster movies Irwin LOST IN SPACE Allen created for NBC & it's one of his best! To generate a convincing forest FIRE Allen brought back L.B. Abbott who worked miracles on THE TOWERING INFERNO and brought in pyro-tech Cliff CITY ON FIRE! Wenger who worked cheap! Despite the nickel & dime-ing on the special effects budget & the usual glimpsed stock footage that comes with the territory Allen spared no expense filling his TV marque with an all-star cast.
Vera SMASH-UP ON INTERSTATE 5 Miles play a grieving resort owner hoping for one last shot at love with mill operator Ernest THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE Borgnine. Patty THE SWARM Duke is fleeing her marriage to Alex FIRE DOWN BELOW Cord & her community both of which are going up in smoke. Donna HANGING BY A THREAD Mills gets to knit her plucked brows when the bus load of school kids she's taken on a nature trip runs into a roadblock from Hell. In addition to all that going on there's Norman AMITYVILLE 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES Lloyd, Neville THE NINTH CONFIGURATION Brand & a pre-CHIPS Eric Estrada to keep you occupied.
Earl FLOOD! Bellamy directed this briskly paced & very sincerely acted adventure based on a melodramatic teleplay by longtime Allen collaborator Norman THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN NEMO Katkov & Arthur Weiss. Weiss wrote the absorbing 1980 mini-series THE NIGHT THE BRIDGE FELL DOWN but also brought along his experience as a writer on the daytime soap DAYS OF OUR LIVES and he's put those skills to good use. The cast has been given plenty to do so you won't be bored for a second. Recommended. - DirectorGeorg FenadyStarsDennis ColeSusan SullivanLeslie NielsenA group of strangers become entrapped in a cave after it collapses. A fugitive among them claims a hostage as leverage for means of escape.CAVE-IN! was the 3rd of 5 tv disaster movies Irwin THE TOWERING INFERNO Allen made for NBC back in the mid 70s-early 80s but was the last film to be released having sat on the shelf for nearly 5 years. Allen's CAVE-IN lacked the spectacular miniatures fans were accustomed to seeing from the producer and although many of the actors were familiar to audiences this melodramatic nail biter didn't have star power. Another reason the network held back CAVE-IN's release was a string of theatrical failures associated with Allen including THE SWARM (1978), BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1979) & WHEN TIME RAN OUT...(1980). Dumping a B movie on disenfranchised audiences seemed unwise given the firestorm of bad publicity.
Two factors that played a part in CAVE-IN's finally being screened was Susan Sullivan's landing the lead in the hit show FALCON CREST and Leslie Nielson's sudden popularity because of THE NAKED GUN. Occasional leading man Dennis HIGHWAY WARRIOR Cole led the otherwise forgettable cast with an assist from Sheila THE X FILES Larkin. The players are stranded in a cave but falling styrofoam boulders aren't the only threat they face as a hostage situation soon takes center stage.
Ted Koerner was an FX artist who worked on THE HINDENBURG and AIRPORT '77 but he's been given little to do. Cinematographer John SMASH-UP ON INTERSTATE 5 Nickolaus doesn't have much luck filming the murky, claustrophobic set either. Not a lot of imagination or artistry made it to the tv screen.
Norman THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN NEMO Katkov wrote this sub par adventure for director Georg Fenady who's highest profile work was on drive-in fare like ARNOLD and TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM. Below average. - DirectorGeorg FenadyStarsJames MacArthurDesi Arnaz Jr.Char FontaneA group of random individuals get stranded on a bridge that begins to collapse at both ends. Not only that, but a gun-wielding bank robber is using the bridge as his means of escape, and he is refusing to let any of the rescuers get anywhere near the survivors. Time is running out and a solution must be reached.THE NIGHT THE BRIDGE FELL DOWN was 1 of 5 TV disaster movies legendary producer Irwin BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE Allen made for NBC and it's the best IMO. This melodramatic & very fast paced disaster pic aired as a 2 part mini-series and was directed by Georg Fenady who worked primarily on action series like EMERGENCY!, THE NEW ADAM-12 and CODE RED. The script was written by Arthur Weiss who was a frequent contributor to classic Allen series like TIME TUNNEL, VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA and LAND OF THE GIANTS. I'm guessing the network assigned writers Roy LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING Goldstone & Michael DAYS OF OUR LIVES David to help clean things up. THE NIGHT THE BRIDGE FELL DOWN works as well as it does because it's good soap opera driving the characters.
HAWAII 5-0 star James MacArthur plays a structural engineer investigating a string of fatalities occurring on a bridge. Of course no one believes him when he warns people of it's pending collapse. A half dozen adults and a few kids lives are endangered when they become stranded on a precariously balanced stretch of bridge left standing after the fall. Of course one of the kids was being rushed to the hospital & of course one of the survivors is an armed criminal etc. The cliches are here, there & everywhere just as you'd expect from The Master of Disaster and the cast is up to the challenge.
Eve THE BRADY BUNCH Plumb, Richard AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL Gilliland, Gregory THE TOWERING INFERNO Sierra, Desi CRISIS IN MID-AIR Arnez, Jr., Barbara DEATH CAR ON THE FREEWAY Rush and Leslie CITY ON FIRE Nielsen all looked like they were having fun so I bought into their plight.
This isn't an elaborate, lavish affair filled with miniatures like EARTHQUAKE or WHEN TIME RAN OUT. It is however presented as such. THE NIGHT THE BRIDGE FELL DOWN feels much more grandiose than it is thanks to an opulent score reminiscent of THE SWARM and solid production design from sets to art direction. The sound effects and music are also very theatrical. The destruction of the bridge itself is a quick, clean practical miniature effect by Marlow FATHER KNOWS BEST: HOME FOR CHRISTMAS Newkirk. The effect is lightyears from FINAL DESTINATION 3 or even THE CASSANDRA CROSSING but the cast has been given plenty to do so you'll be entertained, I promise. - DirectorGeorg FenadyStarsSam GroomPatty DukeJoyce BulifantA group of old friends on an outing re-live various traumas and tragedies via flashback whilst trapped high above a ravine in a disabled cable-car.HANGING BY A THREAD was the 4th of 5 television disaster movies legendary producer Irwin THE TOWERING INFERNO Allen made for NBC and it looks like it had the smallest budget. Spread out over two nights it also probably is the longest to actually sit through and feels like it too given the absence of special effect miniatures destruction. This tedious adventure has all the thrills of 1974s THE ELEVATOR.
A large dysfunctional group of people face death when the cable car they're riding suffers a malfunction. While they bite their nails waiting for the rescue team to sort thing out their tawdry, melodramatic lives flash before our eyes via endless flashbacks. None of it has the depth of any given episode of THE LOVE BOAT.
Patty AMITYVILLE 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES Duke, Sam BEYOND THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE Groom & Bert S.S.T. DEATH FLIGHT Convey led the cast as a bickering trio of exes. Donna BARE ESSENCE Mills & her hubby Peter METEOR Donat have their own problems to deal with including they may be about to plummet into a canyon. Joyce AIRPLANE Bulifant, Cameron FLOOD Mitchell & Oliver MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN Clark also appeared in the large cast but haven't been given anything to sink their teeth into.
Writer Adrian VALIANT LADY Spies & director Georg COMBAT! Fenady got their start in black & white television seldom strayed far from that medium. What scant FX you'll likely to see were doled out by Kevin AVALANCHE EXPRESS Pike. This lacking and lackluster mini-series was poorly designed by a production manager named Floyd Joyer who collaborated with the director on his only theatrical releases ARNOLD and TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM so don't say you weren't warned. - DirectorJames GoldstoneStarsPaul NewmanJacqueline BissetWilliam HoldenAn active volcano threatens a south Pacific island resort and its guests as a power struggle ensues between the property's developer and a drilling foreman.WHEN TIME RAN OUT...was a lavishly produced, all-star disaster movie from the iconic Irwin Allen who's final theatrical release this was following close on the heels of his other infamous flop THE SWARM. The film bears little resemblance to the 1969 novel 'The Day the World Ended' which chronicled a RL volcanic eruption that killed 30,000 people at the start of the 20th century. Oscar winners Carl THE BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI Foreman & Stirling IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT Silliphant completely disregarded the book by Gordon Thomas and Max Morgan Witts foregoing history in favour of the same bad melodrama that sent METEOR and AVALANCHE to the bottom of the box office. The script is vapid but in the hands of director James ROLLERCOASTER Goldstone it's also unintentionally funny! He and the impressive cast are utterly defeated by this hyperventilating claptrap.
Paul Newman & William Holden who co-starred in the genre classic THE TOWERING INFERNO play rivals this time for the affection of Jacqeline INCHON Bisset. The 3 are love-triangling on a Hawaiian island sporting a fabulous resort at the foot of a suddenly erupting volcano. Pat MR T AND TINA Morita is there with Alex PORKY'S Karras who kill time with an odd sub-plot about cock-fighting. Eddie FALCON CREST Albert & Barbra DALLAS. Carrera come and go more or less depending on which version you're watching. After the 121 minute theatrical cut bombed Warner Bro slashed it down to 109 minutes greatly reducing many supporting roles including parts played by Veronica BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE Hamel and Lonny EARTHQUAKE Champion. Internationally known Valentina THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN Cortese, Burgess BATMAN: THE MOVIE Meridith & James THE CONCORDE AFFAIR '79 Franciscus co-starred along with Red Buttons and Ernest Borgnine who helped usher in the disaster movie craze of the 70s with THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.
Oscar winners Lalo THE CONCORDE: AIRPORT 1979 Schifrin's score isn't much to sing about and the cinematographer Fred PATTON Koenekamp is undermined every step of the way by cheesy optical FX and unconvincing miniatures. Kevin THE PUNISHER Pyke, RA HOWARD THE DUCK MacDonald & Joe A FIRE IN THE SKY Unsinn dropped the ball most of the time creating the visuals. LB FIRE! Abbot, Stanley DAMIEN: OMEN II Cortez & Peter SUPERMAN III Donen applied the surprisingly cheap special effects that kept audiences away in droves. Only costume designer Paul LOST IN SPACE Zastupnevich was rewarded with an Academy Award nomination on Oscar night.
WHEN TIME RAN OUT... was destroyed by critics, costing the studio 16.5 million against a 20 million budget. NBC purchased the broadcast rights 4 years later to fill a 3 hour time slot. The bloated cut aired under the title EARTH'S FINAL FURY & it did ok in the ratings despite being a little excruciating to sit all the way through. Connoisseurs of camp cinema may want to have a masochistic look for curiosity's sake but even fans of the flashy producer turn their noses up at this career killer. 1/10 - DirectorJohn GuillerminStarsPaul NewmanSteve McQueenWilliam HoldenAt the opening party of a colossal, but poorly constructed, office building, a massive fire breaks out that threatens to destroy the tower and everyone in it.
- DirectorIrwin AllenStarsMichael CaineKatharine RossRichard WidmarkA huge swarm of deadly African bees spreads terror over American cities by killing thousands of people.Irwin Allen's THE SWARM was one of the more high profile box office catastrophes that signalled the sharp decline in the disaster movie genre that dominated the 1970's. It was based on the junk science 1974 best-seller by Arthur Herzog which foretold the invasion of the USA by killer African bees dislocated because of climate change. Oscar winner Stirling Silliphant was selected to write the adaptation of the novel because of his previous legendary collaborations with The Master of Disaster. Classics THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and THE TOWERING INFERNO defined the genre for a decade. Allen's THE SWARM will most likely be enjoyed by cinematic masochists who seek out the best of the very worst Hollywood has to offer including EARTH'S FINAL FURY or BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.
An all-star cast consumed a huge chunk of film's lavish multi-million dollar budget & in my opinion gives THE SWARM replay value even after 4 decades. Michael JAWS: THE REVENGE Caine, Katherine DYNASTY II: THE COLBYS Ross, Henry METEOR Fonda, Richard ROLLERCOASTER Widmark, Slim CHARLIE AND THE GREAT BALLOON CHASE Pickens, Richard THE THORN BIRDS II: THE MISSING YEARS Chamberlain, Cameron HANGING BY A THREAD Mitchell, Lee VALLEY OF THE DOLLS Grant, Olivia AIRPORT '77 de Havilland, Ben THE SAVAGE BEES Johnson, Fred BEYOND THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE MacMurray, Jose DUNE Ferrer & Patty AMITYVILLE 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES Duke all look drunk or desperate for a drink as they muck their way through without cracking a smile. Everyone is so serious!
THE SWARM knocks helicopters from the sky, reduces cities to burning ruins, derails trains, stings to death school yards filled with children, causes nuclear reactors to explode and left Warner Brothers teetering on the brink of bankruptcy! Critics and audiences ignored this instant camp classic at the time of it's release but an expanded version designed to fill a 3 hour television time slot was a ratings hit for NBC. As guilty pleasures go I recommend the original theatrical cut which is deliriously paced & a lot more empty headed fun.
A host of Academy Award winners toiled behind the camera including composer Jerry THE OMEN Goldsmith, cinematographer Fred PATTON Koenekamp, editor Harold HOW THE WEST WAS WON Kress, Special FX arts Howard SMASH-UP ON INTERSTATE 5 Jenson & Visual Special Effects person L.B. LOGAN'S RUN Abbott. The only Oscar THE SWARM won was for Best Costume Design. - DirectorRonald NeameStarsGene HackmanErnest BorgnineShelley WintersA group of passengers must embark on a harrowing struggle for survival after a rogue wave capsizes their cruise ship at sea.THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE was a magnificent feather in the cap for uber producer Irwin Allen who was fresh off the TV pilot CITY BENEATH THE SEA. Costumes & props found their way into his infinitely more prestigious theatrical feature which would herald in the 1970s disaster movie craze along with Universal's AIRPORT based on the novel by Arthur Hailey. Paul Gallico's book shot up the best-seller list about the same time as AIRPORT went into production. Oscar nominated writer Stirling Silliphant adapted the story with the same dexterity & wit he brought to the films IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT, SHAFT IN AFRICA and VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED. He was assisted by Wendell Mayes who also touched a popular culture nerve with the classic 1974 Charles Bronson hit DEATH WISH. The genre masterpiece was directed by Ronald Neame who would ironically help kill the disaster movie industry with the 1979 flop METEOR.
Gene SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE Hackman plays a heroic priest determined to save as many souls as possible when the S.S. Poseidon is capsized by a tidal wave on New Year's Eve. A combative cop (Ernest FIRE! Borgnine) & his ex hooker wife (Stella THE DAY THE EARTH MOVED Stevens) join another pair of survivors (Jack WILLIE WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY Albertson & Shelley CITY ON FIRE Winters) as they try to make it to the hull of the overturned ocean liner which is their only hope of rescue. Roddy THE ELEVATOR McDowell, Carol FLOOD! Lynley, Red WHEN TIME RAN OUT...Buttons, Pamala Sue DYNASTY Martin and Eric HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM Shea round out the rock solid cast. Allen's wife Sheila has a cameo as a doomed nurse. She would however live to produce the spectacular 160 million dollar remake; POSEIDON for Wolfgang Peterson.
The top flight cast worked tirelessly against innovative set designs in addition to state of the art special effects, miniatures, stunt work & pyrotechnics. L.B. Abbott got his start on Allen's TIME TUNNEL and VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA while Johnny Borgese created visuals for LAND OF THE GIANTS and LOST IN SPACE. Matthew CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND Yuricich & A.D. APOCALYPSE NOW Flowers also contributed to the outstanding old school practical fx which propelled this blockbuster to the top of the box office. THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE also hauled in the highest broadcast rights fee from a network in television history. ABC paid 1 million for the ratings hit. The film lends itself to the Christmas season in an odd fashion just like DIE HARD so after nearly a decade Allen would be up to his old tricks with a formal sequel called BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE in 1979.
THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE was showered with Oscar nominations. Winters was recognised with a Best Supporting Actress Nod. The Oscar worthy Hackman did take home a Golden Globe for Best Actor. The film was honoured with nods for Best Editing, Best Costume Design, Best Sound, Best Cinematography (Harold M*A*S*H Stine), Best Musical Score (John JAWS Williams) & Best Set/Art Direction. The theme song The Morning After won an Academy Award & went on to become a chart-topping hit for Maureen McGovern. A special award was bestowed on the very deserving special effects team who brought this nail-biter to sensational life. Followed by remakes in 2005 & 2006. 8/10 - DirectorIrwin AllenStarsMichael CaineSally FieldTelly SavalasAn extension of the previous film, wherein a group of adventurers return to the overturned ship to seek several fortunes.The cast of BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE have almost 2 dozen Oscar nominations & wins shared amongst them & that's not even counting the backstage crew! Uber producer Irwin VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA Allen stacked the creative deck; flooding this disaster pic with talent yet still came up with a losing hand. This belated sequel to the 1972 action movie epic THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE sank like a stone to the bottom of the box office and earned universal contempt from critics.
The original film was showered with Academy Award nominations (winning 2) & ushered in the disaster movie craze of the 70s. By the time Allen tried recycling the concept the genre was fading fast leaving behind a trail of flops including THE CONCORDE: AIRPORT '79, AVALANCHE and CITY ON FIRE. BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE was the biggest of those bombs but will also be remembered for being the only one of The Master of Disaster's action extravaganzas not to receive an Oscar nomination. The reasons for that are known to anyone who's seen it. The introductory scene featuring Michael THE SWARM Caine, Sally THE FLYING NUN Field & Karl METEOR Malden as a salvage crew planning to loot the capsized luxury liner looks like the opening credits to GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. Things go downhill from there very fast.
Howard SMASH-UP ON INTERSTATE 5 Jenson & Ted AIRPORT '77 Koerner did an OK job on the special effects but fans saw them done better a decade before and weren't impressed with these stale leftovers. The supporting cast should have been able to carry this mammoth production but are crippled by the cheesy screenplay which saddles them with dialogue certain to generate unintended laughter and/or boredom.
Telly ALICE IN WONDERLAND Savalas, Veronica WHEN TIME RAN OUT Hamel, Mark FLAMINGO ROAD Harmon, Veronica LOST IN SPACE Cartwright, Jack THE WACKIEST SHIP IN THE NAVY Warden, Shirley COLOR OF NIGHT Knight and Slim DR. STRANGELOVE OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB Pickens all looked embarrassed to be seen in this loose adaption of the Paul Gallico novel. The silly, sudsy plot involves a cargo of smuggled plutonium stashed below the hull ready to blow.
The adaption of the book was written by Nelson Gidding who himself was an Oscar winner for 1958s I WANT TO LIVE and is remembered for THE HAUNTING and THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN but clearly this isn't his best work. It's even worse than his 1975 failure THE HINDENBURG. Cinematographer Joseph S.S.T. DEATH FLIGHT Biroc, composer Jerry GRAY LADY DOWN Fielding and set designer Harold THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN NEMO Fuhrman all appeared to be 'phoning it in' but nobody deserves more blame than Allen. This campy catastrophe is one of the worst sequels ever made enjoys a small following among fans of cult cinema. Loosely remade for television as THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE in 2005. - DirectorJohn PutchStarsAdam BaldwinRutger HauerSteve GuttenbergA cruise ship succumbs to a terrorist act and capsizes on New Year's eve. A ragtag group of survivors, spearheaded by a Priest and a homeland security agent, must journey through the upside down vessel and attempt an escape.THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE is a remake of the classic Irwin Allen disaster epic of the same name from 1972. The original is a masterpiece of film-making & was showered with Academy Award nominations across the boards for stunning achievements. As well done as this Hallmark Entertainment mini-series is the 2005 redo simply isn't in the same league. There's nothing truly outstanding about this version although I've nothing against it but you should know it's the least impactful of the 3 adaptions produced to date.
The screenplay borrows characters and situations created by Paul Gallico for his 1969 novel and it's belated 1979 sequel BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE which Allen also produced as a feature film in 1980. Writer Bryce ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE Zabel had a 4 hour time slot to fill so padded the material with a dramatic subplot involving a coordinated rescue effort by the military after a terrorist attack on the S.S. Poseidon on New Year's Eve. Zabel recycled his own slightly over-ripe cliches giving his characters backstory but it's all forgivable. This version may not be to the scale of the 1972 film or Wolfgang Peterson's spectacle POSEIDON from 2006 but it does succeed on it's own strengths. The director was John BEETHOVEN'S CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE Putch. That may not be one of this mini-series greatest strengths but he knows enough to keep his large cast occupied. You won't be bored.
Adam DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE Baldwin plays a cop searching the doomed cruise ship for bombs and the terrorists on board. Widow Mrs Rosen was played by Sylvia THE QUEEN Syms. Her character is voyaging to reunite with her son. Rutger Hauer plays the priest while his former THE HITCHER co-star C. Thomas Howell was cast as the ship's physician. The doctor has a thing for Steve CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC Guttenberg's daughter just as her father has taken up seeing a physio therapist. The Clarke family headed by Guttenberg were named Shelby in the 1969 novel. His daughter's first name is Shelby. Zabel further homaged the book by naming Peter ROBOCOP Wellers' character Captain Paul Gallico. The survivors of the terrorist attack must fight their way up to the hull of a capsized ocean liner if they hope to survive.
A host of CG animators produced the quality FX for this respectable TV movie remake chiefly among them the team at Reality Check Studios. They designed the special effects for STAR WARS EPISODE VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS. Alison GREEN LANTERN Savitch & Doug ERASER: REBORN Hardy also contributed to the beautiful rendition of the Poseidon's destruction. This highly rated movie was followed almost immediately by the vastly superior POSEIDON. - DirectorWolfgang PetersenStarsRichard DreyfussKurt RussellEmmy RossumOn New Year's Eve, the luxury ocean liner Poseidon capsizes after being swamped by a rogue wave. The survivors are left to fight for their lives as they attempt to escape the sinking ship.Oscar winning director Wolfgang DAS BOOT Peterson ended his hugely successful career in Hollywood with this 160 million dollar remake of the classic 1972 disaster epic THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. This loose adaptation of Paul Gallico's 1969 best-seller was written by Mark Protosavich who followed up with I AM LEGEND and THOR. POSEIDON failed to connect with audiences or critics and cost Warner Brothers 75 million in losses. The frequently maligned das reboot of the Irwin Allen brand was produced by his surviving spouse Sheila. She was also producing a remake of her husband's 1966-67 series THE TIME TUNNEL. The tv movie pilot was cast by Susan Edelman. She and Marv MELROSE PLACE Buck filled the marquee of this FLOP with an all-star cast that would have made the Master of Disaster proud.
Kurt ESCAPE FROM L.A. Russell, Andre FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER Braugher, Kevin THE DOORS Dillon, Joandra WIND ON WATER Barrett, Emmy THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Rossum, Richard CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND Dreyfuss, Gordon DYNASTY Thompson, Mike THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE Vogel, Josh STEALTH Lucas, Freddy PLANET TERROR Rodriguez & Mia TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Maestro is a huge assemblage of talent for a film clocking in at just under 1 hour 40 minutes. This endlessly talented cast should be able to sustain your interest but don't. All are competing with millions of dollars worth of digital effects and there's not enough on paper to allow audiences to engage with these characters. The Oscar nominated visual effects utterly dominate POSEIDON a scant 15 minutes in to this breathlessly paced thrill ride; the moment a rogue wave capsizes the luxury ocean liner.
The original film offered easy to digest stereotypes to earn audience empathy. Remember how you loved Shelley Winters the moment she spoke? No one gets anything even remotely of that depth. Even the Hallmark tv mini series of THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE benefited from having 2 hours to build suspense before the survivors endure hell upside down. The mini series wasn't nearly the event POSEIDON promoted itself to be but the cardboard characters were given better material. That popular mini series took a huge bite out of this movies box office, by the way. I read that a longer cut was initially presented to Warner Brothers that greatly enhanced the backstory but the studio balked at the 2 hour 10 minute length. The director whittled the film down to a bare minimum and offered nothing by way of fleshed out human drama.
The special effects more than deserved an Academy Award nomination. They are stunningly beautiful & awesome to behold. The 3D / IMAXed graphics are spectacular beyond description. Hundreds of digital artists poured a lot of love into this tremendously realised, technically astonishing CG extravaganza. Scores of RL crafts people designed magnificent sets that will keep you watching regardless of the minimal participation of the hard-done-by cast. The money is onscreen even if some feels wasted. I'd recommend POSEIDON as enthusiastically as other disaster pics from the period like Roland Emmerich's over-produced THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW or the over-rated DEEP IMPACT. This is a gorgeous, 1st class disaster movie I'd rate 7/10. It's got almost as much replay value as THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE because it is a mammoth visual achievement. The Razzie awards nominated POSEIDON Worst Remake but it really is as dazzling as anything you'd see in Cameron's TITANIC. - DirectorByron HaskinStarsGene BarryAnn RobinsonLes TremayneA small town in California is attacked by Martians, beginning a worldwide invasion.In 2011 the Library of Congress petitioned to add this 1st and best adaption of H.G. Wells 1898 science fiction novel to the National Film Registry for preservation. This Academy Award winning masterpiece was deemed to be aesthetically, historically and culturally significant 58 years after it's sensational Paramount release but you'd have to have been a fool not to have known all along! THE WAR OF THE WORLD belongs at the top of everyone's watchlist of vintage fantasy along with THE PLANET OF THE APES and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. This was producer George Pal's hotly anticipated follow up to his 1951 disaster movie classic WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE and was directed by Bryan FROM THE EARTH TO THE MOON Haskins working from a script by Barre CONQUEST OF SPACE Lyndon.
Gene Barry and Ann Robinson play scientist Clay Forrester and his love interest Sylvia Van Buran who try to survive the terrifying Martian invasion that begins innocently enough as meteorites fall across Grover's Mill. Hissing spaceships with death rays emerge, cutting a path of destruction through the helpless human armies on their unstoppable way to our doomed cities. Steven Spielberg invited both actors to appear in his magnificent 2005 reboot. Robinson was also a popular guest star on the short lived 1988 revival of the franchise as a weekly series.
Loren THE TEN COMMANDMENTS Ryder was awarded an Oscar nomination for Best Sound design while Everett BONANZA Douglas received his for Film Editing. A brilliant team of Paramount's best matte painters, miniature artists and animators took home a statuette for their endlessly influential work. Edith AIRPORT Head provided the tasteful wardrobes. Leith IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE Stevens scored this exciting feature while George SHERLOCK HOLMES Barnes maintained a sure hand with his formal,old school cinematography. The practical make up designs were created by Wally BREAKFAST AT TIFFANIES Westmore. Pal attempted to spin off a sequel tv series in 1974 but abandoned the project before the pilot was complete. This is what I would describe as an ESSENTIAL viewing experience. 10/10 - CreatorGreg StrangisStarsJared MartinLynda Mason GreenPhilip AkinHumanity must resume its war against the Martians when they revive after decades of hibernation following their defeat in the 1950s.Greg Strangis was lured away from the CBS soap FALCON CREST by Paramount to create this sequel series to the 1953 George Pal classic THE WAR OF THE WORLDS. The 1st season was laced with black humour and gore which propelled the US/Canadian sci-fi co-production to the top of the ratings; 2nd only to STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION which also debuted in 1988.
Jared THE FANTASTIC VOYAGE Martin played the team leader of the branch of the military investigating terrorist activities carried out by Martians. The radiation from nuclear bombs resurrected them...more terrifying than before! In 1953 they were taking over the world. Today they're taking over our bodies! Harrison Blackwood was a brilliant pacifist who butted heads frequently with Colonel Ironhorse played by Richard PREDATOR Chaves whose preferences leaned towards guns blazing. Philip HIGHLANDER: THE SERIES Akin was cast as the wheelchair bound computer whiz Norton Drake & Linda NIGHT HEAT Green appeared as a single mom balancing the dangers of raising a teenage girl (Rachel THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY Blanchard) and thwarting the schemes of monsters from outer space. The Martian 'advocates' weren't the only ones returning from the H.G. Wells inspired masterpiece. In a brilliant piece of casting Ann Robinson guest starred (infrequently) as Sylvia Van Buren. She'd also make a surprise appearance in Steven Spielberg's awesome 2005 remake.
Paramount stupidly replaced the witty Strangis with Frank Mancuso, Jr. who was getting on every bodies nerves with FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES. He immediately alienated viewers with a drastic and entirely unnecessary revamp. WAR OF THE WORLD: THE SECOND INVASION eliminated the Advocates, replacing them with gaunt, unappealing Canadian actors pretending to be Morthrens. Suzanne's daughter Debi was given more screen time while the popular characters of Drake & Ironhorse were written out immediately. Adrian WAR OF THE WORLDS: GOLIATH Paul was hired to replace Chaves & did ok but ratings dove. The futuristic setting which resembled American cities today was a real turn off. The fun, tongue in cheek approach which suited the material was gone and about half the special effects budget along with it. Paramount cancelled the show with little fanfare as most of its' fans departed along with Strangis but did allow Macuso to wrap up his bland storylines in a forgettable finale.
Steve STAR WARS Willliams was largely responsible for the old school practical special effects during the well-produced 1988 season while John SUPERMAN & LOIS Gajdecki designed the less believable look for The Second Invasion. Everyone who contributed to the visuals deserves credit for their work. Genre fans should give it a look. Maybe see how it compares to other WAR OF THE WORLDS series in the new millennium. I'd rate this 6 out of 10 stars overall on average & am surprised it hasn't developed a wider cult of admirers. - DirectorEric ForsbergStarsMegan Lee EthridgeGriff FurstMarissa MorseAfter being abducted by extra terrestrials, Jean and her friends are committed to a top secret government run mental institution to undergo tests and be brainwashed.I'm giving this SyFy movie a star for the truly outstanding CG title sequence that opens this otherwise sub par entertainment from The Asylum. Chad Anderson designed the sequence and was almost immediately hired away by respectable people never to grace their video sweatshop again. It's the most polished moment ever produced for one of their mockbusters. Giving credit where credit is due. The other digital 'artist' (Richard DEATH VALLEY: THE REVENGE OF BLOODY BILL Mirranda) & the make up designer (Elizabeth THE MANGLER REBORN Fox) entirely failed to follow up on Anderson's strong assist making the rest of ALIEN ABDUCTION a visual chore.
ALIEN ABDUCTION was released as a cross promotion for The Asylum's H.G. WELLS WAR OF THE WORLDS. The tagline makes it's intentions known from the start; 'The WAR OF THE WORLDS Has Already Begun!'. These poverty row productions were designed to ride the coattails of the infinitely superior adaption of the classic novel directed by Steven Spielberg in 2005. Eric MEGA PIRANHA Forsberg wrote & directed this seemingly non sequitur spin-off which is surprisingly similar to the syndicated television series WAR OF THE WORLDS from 1988-1989 and his WAR OF THE WORLDS 2: THE SECOND WAVE which also explores (superficially) the theme of being snatched by U.F.O.s.
Megan BLADE OF THE VAMPIRE Etheridge & Griff BOA VS PYTHON Furst play a couple out camping with friends when all 4 terrible actors are abducted by what appeared to be the sun shining through leaves. They wake up in an ugly empty office space undergoing renovations. Despite all the mad scientists & fake military running the lousy set which looks nothing like a high tech government installation it's revealed the facility for recent abductees is really a spaceship filled with alien cockroaches. The big insects hide inside clones so they may be shipped back as an undetectable invasive species while the human abductees are kept in saran wrap tee-pees suspended in animation via IV bags & covid masks. The fate of the human race hangs in the balance...will Megan remember her ordeal or will she return as a roach motel? Spoiler alert: Forsberg chose not to write a conclusive ending. You'll never know and likely never cared anyway.
There's slightly more strawberry jam gore than you usually see from this backyard studio and even a few unconvincing prosthetics but it's too little too late. No amount of side boob can save something as cheap & stupid as this grade zzz offering. - DirectorDavid Michael LattStarsC. Thomas HowellRhett GilesAndy LauerA determined astrophysicist must embark on a nationwide journey to find his son during a massive alien invasion that's goal is to exterminate the human race.The Global Asylum began it's parasitic life in 1999 but this slimily marketed mockbuster put their plagiaristic ass on the home rental map. The Asylum dumped this cheap rip off into video stores consecutively with Steven Spielberg's vastly superior blockbuster WAR OF THE WORLDS theatrical release & made off like the bandits they are. In their slight defence this adaption of H.G. Wells classic novel from 1898 is one of their very best videos which I'd rate 3 out of 10 stars.
C. Thomas THE HITCHER Howell stars as a scientist desperate to reunite with his family after our world is invaded by Martians and our cities left in ruins. Howell's real-life son Dash isn't a good actor but compensates via their natural rapport. Thairie Van Wyk Loots who co-starred with Howell in THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE appears as his lovely wife while Gary THE HITCHER II: I'VE BEEN WAITING Busey plays a deranged veteran who is as big a threat to the family as the occasionally seen alien tripods.
The Asylum's sleazy co-founder Michael Latt directed & wrote this not-horrible sci-fi pic which was based on a script by Carlos KING OF THE LOST WORLD De Los Rios. Latt hired genuine actors and they deliver acceptable work. You won't see this calibre of performers often in their lowly inventory outside the SHARKNADO vids. Latt also uncharacteristically employed more than a score of visual effects artists not that it helped much.
The cheap digital fx were composed by Wayne PUSHING DAISIES Shepard while Rochelle Knightly-Fisher who is better known for the TV show THE EXORCIST handled make up design. Despite the name talent involved behind the scene there simply wasn't enough cash to float the boat. Anyone deceived into renting this thinking they were going to see a Tom Cruise spectacular will be hugely disappointed. This even looks terrible compared to the original George Pal masterpiece from 1953! Followed by WAR OF THE WORLDS 2: THE NEXT WAVE. - DirectorC. Thomas HowellStarsC. Thomas HowellChristopher ReidKim LittleThe aliens return to complete their plan of human domination, launching a second wave of attacks that threaten to destroy what is left of humanity.In 2005 poverty row sweatshop The Global Asylum produced a lousy tv movie for the SyFy channel called ALIEN ABDUCTION as a promotion for their soon to be released mockbuster H.G. WELLS WAR OF THE WORLDS. While it was never advertised as being a spin-off it's tagline made it's intention known: "The WAR OF THE WORLDS Has Already Begun!". Unless you've actually suffered the indignity of having seen both of those flicks you won't make the connection for yourself until seeing 2008's WAR OF THE WORLDS 2: THE NEXT WAVE.
Eric Forsberg who wrote/directed the tv movie also prepped this close copy of his earlier work along with 'writers' Michael AVH: ALIEN VS HUNTER Latt & Steve THOR: HAMMER OF THE GODS Bevilacqua. It's a terrible script sure to have sent the author of the 1898 science fiction masterpiece spinning in his grave. To make matters worse the budget for this junk has been slashed from the original vid by half!
C. Thomas THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN Howell was lured back despite the obstacles he faced on the condition he also got to direct the sequel & a few other pay per view rip offs The Asylum was producing. Now widowed the scientist must search through a ruined city to find his son (Howell's RL child Dash) who has been abducted by a bad special effect. The tripods are so tacky you'll almost be glad they're only seen for a couple of minutes. Kim 30,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA Little who co-starred with the Howells before is also back as the widower's new love interest. Except for Christopher HOUSE PARTY Reid that's all your getting in the acting department. The disappointing visuals were sloppily thrown together by Steve JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH Wheeler & Khandi MYSTERIOUS ISLAND Lane.
Howell is a solid actor and a competent director but he can't quite salvage this pic. He plays off actors you've never heard of & even manages to frame the tripod action from interesting angles but I can't recommend it wholeheartedly. It is one of the best films The Asylum has made in nearly 3 decades and rates 4 of 10 stars. - DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsTom CruiseDakota FanningTim RobbinsAn alien invasion threatens the future of humanity. The catastrophic nightmare is depicted through the eyes of one American family fighting for survival.WAR OF THE WORLDS was based on the classic novel by H.G. Wells published in 1898. It is a loving remake of the 1953 George Pal science fiction masterpiece going so far as to cast both THE WAR OF THE WORLDS actors Ann Robinson and Gene Berry as grandparents. Robinson also guest starred on the 1988-1989 syndicated series which opened episodes with a martian hand clutching our world. It's very similar to the marketing of this fine reimagining. Razzie nominated Worst Actor Tom TOP GUN: MAVERICK Cruise plays the ex of their daughter who is with her parents in Boston while Cruise enjoys visitation in New Jersey. Cruise may have been singled out for the rebuke because of his undignified behaviour on OPRAH while promoting this extraordinary fantasy that was narrated by Morgan DEEP IMPACT Freeman. The handsome star who was in his 30s acted like he was a child hopping up and down on Winfrey's couch & was immediately buried by a tsunami of bad publicity. Cruise is completely authentic as Ray Ferrier; the father of Miranda THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING Otto's kids. The couple feels split. They don't share many scenes but the ones they do are believable. More important is the relationship he shares with his independent son and younger daughter. The strain between Justin AMERICAN GOTHIC Chatwin and his crane operating dad doesn't feel contrived. Dakota ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD Fanning is written with care and sensitivity. Her reactions to her family are credible as are her reactions to the world coming apart under their feet in the days following the alien invasion. The dynamic is perfect and the chemistry of the cast together is undeniable. You'll care very much about this family as they struggle to stay alive when all seems lost.
WAR OF THE WORLDS begins with the invasion of the Ukraine. Cryptic reports leaking from the nation prove to be true when the Ferrier family witness icy lightning bolts rain down around them tearing into the streets. From the sinkholes emerge thunderous tripods that bellow while blasting the terrified community with deathrays. The sight of these towering monstrosities in action will chill your blood! I forgot the flying, hissing green eyed war craft I've been looking at for 50 years the moment I laid eyes on these tripods. WAR OF THE WORLDS was nominated for 3 Oscars and you won't wonder why seeing these destructive behemoths advance on our cities. The Sound Effects team earned a couple of nominations for their unsettling designs. Dennis RETURN OF THE JEDI Muren, Pablo INDEPENDENCE DAY Helman, Randal HOWARD THE DUCK Dutra and Daniel AVENGERS: ENDGAME Sudick were nominated for an Academy Award for their Outanding Visual FX. The Ferrier's fight their way across the obliterated countryside to survive. They even come face to face with the aliens who rode down to Earth in capsules hidden in the storm. Every technical aspect of this 130 million dollar blockbuster rings true. I was engaged and absorbed from beginning to end.
Joss TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES Friedman updated the book along with David INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY Koepp. The pair are no strangers to the top of the box office. WAR OF THE WORLDS hauled in 3 quarters of a billion dollars despite the lame-brained stunting by Cruise on reality tv. Steven Spielberg deserves all the credit he can carry. WAR OF THE WORLDS is as visually eye-popping as CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND and as harrowing to sit through as 1941. This thrilling adventure is as satisfying as A.I.: ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE or THE BFG. WAR OF THE WORLDS may not be as good as JAWS or E.T.: THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL but few movies ever are. This is close to Spielberg's finest work. And people don't talk about it the way they do the Roland Emmerich pics. When people look back on hits like THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW or INDEPENDENCE DAY they remember the CG. The human drama at the heart of WAR OF THE WORLDS is the 1st thing you'll notice. Very few Hollywood blockbusters can pull off that cinematic trick. Highly, HIGHLY recommended! - DirectorJoe PearsonStarsAdam BaldwinBeau BillingsleaKim BuckinghamA retro-futuristic epic of steampunk battle set in 1914. It has been 15 years since the original H.G. Wells Martian invasion. Fearing another attack, the human race has prepared itself. This is the story of the battle tripod 'Goliath' and its young crew. 'Goliath' is the vanguard of an army of steam-powered battle walkers, heat-ray biplanes, and armored zeppelins facing a Martian fleet of giant fighting machines and flying wings. Within the cockpit of 'Goliath', courage under fire, conflicted loyalties and the struggle to save earth, in this new War of the Worlds.
- DirectorMario N. BonassinStarsEmily KillianAnthony JensenTom SizemoreSibling astronomers discover Martians are threatening to attack Earth, but no one believes them-until Martians land and nearly destroy all of New York City.2021: WAR OF THE WORLDS (aka ALIEN CONQUEST) was the 1st of 2 bastardisations The Global Asylum threw together of H.G. Wells classic sci-fi novel from 1898 in 2021. Not that you'll see any formal acknowledgment of his contribution since THE WAR OF THE WORLDS is in the public domain. The screen writing credit went to Joe TRANSMORPHERS: MECH BEASTS Roche & the video is in no way tied to The Asylums' slightly superior entries from 2005 & 2008 starring C. Thomas Howell. Despite their simultaneous release this flick is also unconnected to WAR OF THE WORLDS: ANNIHILATION any more than ALIEN ABDUCTION was to H.G. WELLS WAR OF THE WORLDS which put the mockbuster sweatshop on the map. Both of these dismal productions were designed to capitalise on the success of the 2019 television series airing on Fox & an excellent 3 part mini-series shown recently on the BBC.
Emily MEGA ICE STORM Killian & Anthony DOOMSDAY ASTEROID Jensen play scientists with a laptop who try to avert a Martian invasion one sunny afternoon in someone's backyard. Neither are actually bad. It takes skill to talk that fast through junk science. Neither are the least bit convincing because the script is a slap in the face to anyone with an IQ greater than 80 but they can at least act. Controversial actor Tom APOCALYPSE OF ICE Sizemore also has no trouble delivering his lines although you can tell he isn't happy! And who would be?
Mars sends 9 tripod bearing U.F.O.s to the states to conquer the Earth. They use their lasers to poke holes in the ozone layer so global boiling will evaporate the oceans. With no water the lesser gravity & arid conditions will make this planet ideal for the invading horde of monsters from outer space to call home. Our only hope may be if all 9 tripods stand in a line so the scientists can shoot them with a telescope they turned into a light cannon using their cell phones
Mario MEGABOA Bonasshi artlessly directed this video and shows no aptitude for working with digital FX. The from poverty cg you know going in aren't going to be worth a second of your time but even by their subterranean standards these animations are lowly! Sasha TOP GUNNER: DANGER ZONE Burrow & Glenn 6-HEADED SHARK ATTACK Campbell deserve the bulk of the blame. Nothing they've ever done in their miserable careers approaches the spectacle of George Pal's original from 70 years ago and nothing they do ever will. As wretched as 2021: WAR OF THE WORLDS is, it's a step up from WAR OF THE WORLDS: ANNIHILATION but if you're smart you should steer clear of both. - DirectorMaximilian ElfeldtStarsArie ThompsonWilliam BaldwinNoel GugliemiIn the wake of a punishing alien invasion, the only hope a mother and her son have for survival lies in the discovery of an unthinkable truth.If you thought AVENGERS GRIMM: TIME WARS or DRACULA: THE ORIGINAL LIVING VAMPIRE were the dumbest videos Maximilion Elfedt 'directed' you'd still somehow manage to be wrong. This butcher shop of bad cg and stupidity is easily one of the hardest to watch vids the mockbuster studio has released in 3 decades. I doubt the unknown writer (Conor Dowling) even read the original novel published in 1898. This boring bastardisation of H.G. Wells public domain novel was the 2nd The Global Asylum dumped onto streaming services that year; the other being the marginally more tolerable 2021: WAR OF THE WORLDS. They aren't tied directly to one another or to the earlier flicks starring C. Thomas Howell which were also no great shakes!
The Martians have nothing to do with these invaders. Earth has an identical twin in the Orion constellation with humans. These aliens aren't warring with anyone nor do they wish to annihilate their new friends. They just want a new home. By this point I wanted desperately to sleep but my head hurt too much! Sasha TITANIC 666 Burrow & Glenn A BELGIAN CHOCOLATE Campbell failed to produce anything close to what you'd expect from any respectable special effects artists. Their work is garbage & they don't care so long as they get your money.
As terrible as the recycled code is for the mecha crashing to earth in asteroids or their brief stroll through empty parking lots the biggest turn off wasn't the pitiful visuals or the glacial pace of this Tubi Original. The most difficult part for me watching was the acting. It's unusually bad even for them. Trust me; I've seen TITANIC II, METEOR MOON & APE VS MECHA APE. This is worse!
Aria DOCTOR DEATH Thompson was embarrassing to watch. I felt genuinely bad for her and also strongly disliked Konnely DOOMSDAY METEOR Porter as her butch son. As unappealing as they were Noel FRED 2: NIGHT OF THE LIVING FRED G. had them beat. The biggest surprise was how awful 'Special Guest Star' William DIRTY, SEXY MONEY Baldwin was a warmongering general. This is the lousiest performance of his career. Maybe he knows no one will see it! I wish I hadn't. This can't even be appreciated as camp because there's nothing about WAR OF THE WORLDS: ANNIHILATION to embrace. You just wish it would stop and go away. 1 of 10 stars. - DirectorJunaid SyedStarsSam GittinsLeo StaarVincent ReganThe adventures of 3 young astronomers and their fight to survive a deadly Martian invasion.This is the 1st mockbuster for writer/director Junaid Syed who has been gainfully employed as an FX tech for 20 years. His experience lighting films like G.I. JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA led to the formation of his own special FX company; 'Blam'. This uncredited adaption of the 1898 science fiction masterpiece by H.G. Wells was co-written by Tom THE WITCHES OF AMITYVILLE ACADEMY Jolliffe and produced in England. There are in fact more producers (including Syed) assigned to WAR OF THE WORLDS: THE ATTACK than there are digital artists which is probably why the visual effects are uniformly unimpressive and sparsely distributed throughout. Of the handful of people who contributed to those unspectacular animations (which look pitiful compared to the 2005 Steven Spielberg remake btw) Claire POSEIDON Pegorier did a respectable job and deserves credit. Nobody else at Blam holds a candle to her work as a digital artist. Her derivative tripods & Martian designs do make this a better viewing experience than the recent rip-offs 2021: WAR OF THE WORLDS and WAR OF THE WORLDS: ANNIHILATION.
Three 30ish astronomy students (Sam EASTENDERS Griffins, Alhaji CASUALTY Fofano & Lara BEN Lemon) use their cell phones to track tripods falling to earth & suspect Mars is attacking. The next morning a soldier with a walkie talkie tells them there's a global war raging & that mankind is doomed. The poorly acted friends hop on their bicycles & embark on adventures similar to the ones laid out in the novel. Along the way they must cope with zealots, the military & octopuses from outer space but can they save the planet?
WAR OF THE WORLDS: THE ATTACK isn't as good as the substandard adaption The Asylum produced in 2005 & the reason for that was C. Thomas Howell. There's no star power on display here. There's barely acting! There also very little genuine interaction between the cast and the disappointing CG animations further undermining credibility. With so many truly outstanding CREDITED adaptions of THE WAR OF THE WORLDS available including George Pal's unforgettable version from 1953 & the recent BBC mini-series there's no reason to wallow in the mockbuster muck. - DirectorGeorge SeatonHenry HathawayStarsBurt LancasterDean MartinGeorge KennedyA bomber on board an airplane, an airport almost closed by snow, and various personal problems of the people involved.
- DirectorJack SmightStarsCharlton HestonKaren BlackGeorge KennedyA 747 in flight collides with a small plane, and is rendered pilotless. Somehow the control tower must get a pilot aboard so the jet can land.Even if I hadn't read every sizzling page of Arthur Hailey's trend-setting best-seller twice and even if I hadn't LOVED the classic 1970 movie AIRPORT I'd still be watching AIRPORT 1975 100%. You couldn't dream of a better cast! Listen while I tell you who's in this trashy sequel to one of the greatest disaster movies of all time and tell me you aren't impressed! Versatile actors Charlton DYNASTY II: THE COLBYS Heston & Karen CHILDREN OF THE CORN IV: THE GATHERING Black play Captain Murdock & Nancy Pryor; secret lovers who's affair gets blown wide open like the cockpit of the 747 where Nancy was working prior to a mid air collision with a private jet. Now, barring a chopper-to-747 pilot transfer, it's up to the nearly hysterical stewardess to manually land the plane with the instructions given by her determined love interest on the ground and his associate from the airline Petroni (George EARTHQUAKE Kennedy) who has popped up in every franchise instalment including the 1985 TV movie/pilot INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. Black has almost no screen time with her male co-stars yet plays off both actors perfectly. She is committed to this nail-biting melodrama as are they. These THREE are good enough to carry the dramatic weight of AIRPORT 1975 but look who else got cast!
Jerry SEINFELD Stiller, Conrad MORK & MINDY Janis, Sid THE MUNSTER'S REVENGE Ceaser, Norman THE ROPERS Fell & Myrna THE THIN MAN Loy work the busy room for laughs. The leads contributed a number of unintentional laughs as do a few less fortunate guest stars. Singer Helen SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEART'S CLUB BAND Reddy plays a singing nun who yodels a toneless tune to dope-fiend Linda EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC Blair. All the big disaster movies of the 1970s had a musical number after Irwin Allen's THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and THE TOWERING INFERNO spun off chart topping singles. Reddy & Blair are so awful together it's painful to watch. Listening to them was much worse! Hollywood icon Gloria SUNSET BLVD Swanson is worse than everyone else put together as herself! The pompous hag was promoting her even more fake autobiography so her part is a self engrandizing tie-in to promote her book. She comes across badly but most of the familiar actors shine. Lorette BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Spang, Roy THE HORROR AT 37, 000 FEET Thinnes, Erik CHIPS '99 Estrada, Ed SUPERDOME Nelson, Nancy PAPER DOLLS Olsen, Efrem TERROR OUT OF THE SKY Zimbalist, Jr., Dana CRACK IN THE WORLD Andrews, & Susan CITY ON FIRE Clark are the icing on the wonderfully cheesy cake. Like I said; that cast deserves your attention but no one delivers a performance as thunderously over-the-top and magnificent as the divine Miss Black. She owns every second of AIRPORT 1975.
John S.S.T. DEATH FLIGHT Cacaves provides the bold score. Paul THE HINDENBURG Wurtzel, Gerald THE OMEGA MAN Elder, Vernon SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE Archer, Ben THE GREAT WALDO PEPPER McMahon, Whitey DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER McMahon and Johnny THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND Borgese all contributed believable, old school optical effects & miniatures. AIRPORT 1975 has been described as 'One of the 50 Worst Movies Ever Made' but it's one the best known films of Jack DAMNATION ALLEY Smight who toiled for decades on B&W tv series. The writer was also very well known to fans of network television of the era. Don Ingalls wrote THE INITIATION OF SARAH, CAPTAIN AMERICA and FLOOD!. His screenplay helped propel AIRPORT 1975 into the ranks of 'One of the 100 Worst But Most Enjoyable Movies Ever Made' if the founder of the Razzies is to be believed. This instant camp classic was also a crowd-pleaser in theatres and again shot to the top of the ratings. AIRPORT 1975 walks a thin line between cult appeal and commercial success but rates a solid 7 / 10 stars. Followed by AIRPORT '77. - DirectorJerry JamesonStarsJack LemmonLee GrantJoseph CottenArt thieves hijack a 747, hit fog and crash into the ocean, trapping them and the passengers under one hundred feet of water.Jerry Jameson was a reasonably well-considered choice to direct this 2nd sequel to Universal Pictures box office extravaganza AIRPORT based on the best selling novel by Arthur Hailey. Jameson directed a number of tv disaster movies in the 70s including HURRICANE, A FIRE IN THE SKY, SUPERDOME and STARFLIGHT ONE. He also directed the similar RAISE THE TITANIC which sent Sir Lew Grade into bankruptcy. This far less expensive production fared considerably better with ticket sales although the critics were less enthusiastic. The Golden Raspberry Awards inducted AIRPORT '77 into it's Stinkers Hall of Shame just as they did AIRPORT 1975 and THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT '79 but it's not that BAD! Charles DEATH RACE Kuestle wrote the never-dull story with H.A.L. THE HOUSE OF EXORCISM Craig. The screenplay was written by Michael Scheff & David Spector whose only credit other than this was the turgid 1973 telepic SKYWAY TO DEATH. They delivered a solid 90 million dollar haul in addition to the honour of seeing their frequently besmirched movie earn 2 Oscar nominations. Not bad. And neither was the all-star cast.
A sizable chunk of AIRPORT '77's 6 million dollar budget was spent on the exceptionally talented line up of stars and familiar faces assembled for this engaging adventure about a hijacked 747 that crashes in The Bermuda Triangle. Jack THE CHINA SYNDROME Lemmon & Brenda PAPER DOLLS Vaccaro took top billing as the pilot & stewardess trying to keep the passengers alive while the navy co-ordinates a difficult rescue opperation. Christopher THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN Lee and Lee VALLEY OF THE DOLLS Grant are almost as entertaining as an unhappily married couple determined to go down fighting. George Kennedy who played Patroni throughout the run of the franchise has about a minute and a half on screen helping the military raise the submerged jet belonging to a billionaire art collector (James IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE Stewart). Robert FALCON CREST Foxworth, Darren KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER McGavin, Pamala DYNASTY Bellwood, Maidie BARE ESSENCE Norman, Gil BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY Gerard, Olivia THE SWARM de Havalland, Joseph LADY FRANKENSTEIN Cotton and M. Emmet TWIN PEAKS Walsh were also fun to watch as potential survivors.
The only actor who came across badly was blind singer Tom SEARCH FOR TOMORROW Sullivan who warbles the vomit inducing love theme 'Beauty Is In The Eye of The Beholder'. All disaster epics from the era seemed to have a musical interlude after Maureen McGovern scored billboard chart topping hit singles from the soundtracks to THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and THE TOWERING INFERNO. The AIRPORT films became infamous because of Helen Reddy having played a singing nun in AIRPORT 1975. She was so camp it's now considered iconic. Sullivan is no less embarrassing during his awkwardly inserted and cringe-worthy number. Renowned costume designer Edith Head earned her 35th Academy Award nomination for her tasteful designs while Mikey THE TAKING OF FLIGHT 847: THE ULI DERICKSON STORY Michaels who constructed the convincing 747 interiors took home his 1st. Michaels & George TRAPPED! Webb earned their nomination for set design & art direction. This would be among the last films for Cleo Baker the other being THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT '79. Baker contributed special miniature effects to several classic films including THE LOST WORLD, THE INVISIBLE MAN and THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN. He came out of retirement for the 1974 genre masterpiece EARTHQUAKE. Albert EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC Whitlock skillfully handled the believable matte visual effects. You will be amazed at how good these old school FX look considering Philip THE MONSTER OF THE PIEDRAS BLANCAS Lathrup handled cinematography. For it's television broadcast an additional 70 minutes of deleted footage was edited in to fill a painful 4 hour time slot spread over 2 consecutive nights. The slightly superior 113 minute theatrical cut rates 6/10. - DirectorDavid Lowell RichStarsAlain DelonSusan BlakelyRobert WagnerA supersonic airborne disaster. In order to survive a flight headed for the Moscow Olympics, passengers of the Concorde must endure aerial acrobatics to dodge missiles and survive a device that decompresses the plane.Remember what happened to David Fincher with ALIEN 3? Same deal here. Eric Roth is known today for his Oscar worthy work on MUNICH, FORREST GUMP & DUNE but this was his 1st screenplay. Jennings Lang conversely was at the bitter end of his career and was leaving behind a trail of Razzie worthy flops including THE STING II, SWASHBUCKLER, THE NUDE BOMB and THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT 1979. Lang was the producer, wrote the jaw-droppingly stupid story template and was calling the shots 100%. Eric Roth was simply stuck with the sorry hand he was dealt. At the Stinker's awards Lang was singled out as Worst Producer & won! This fourth film in the AIRPORT film franchise was released when the decade long disaster movie craze that dominated the 1970s was ending. Critics were outraged at the audacity of Universal to try to pass this garbage off on the fans. In recent decades THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT 1979 has developed a small cult of admirers who appreciate it as a guilty pleasure. The founder of the Razzies listed this film proudly as one of 100 most enjoyable bad movies ever made. It's every bit as bad as AVALANCHE or BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE or even THE SWARM! If you watched network tv from the 1970s you're probably aware of the directors' work. David Lowell Rich is best known for the campy SATAN'S SCHOOL FOR GIRLS but the Worst Director award winner also made the surprisingly similar S.S.T.: DEATH FLIGHT in 1977. As bad as THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT 1979 is an even more excruciating extended edition was released to fill a three hour timeslot. Oh, the humanity!
Susan BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA 2 Blakely is a woman targeted for assassination by her arms dealing boyfriend; Robert THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER Wagner. She's flying on a Concorde her ex decides to shoot down using buzzard missiles. Speaking of buzzards, the other passengers include Mexican sensation Charo from SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING, Martha THE BIG BROADCAST OF 1937 Raye, David TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II: THE SECRET OF THE OOZE Warner, Jimmy THE JERK TOO Walker, Eddie RETURN TO GREEN ACRES Albert, John THE DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS II Davidson, Andrea SPACEHUNTERS: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE Marconicci, George EARTHQUAKE Kennedy and some French guy named Alain Delan as the pilot. Avery SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK Schreiber was also in the cast which I remember but I've seen this 3 times and I still couldn't tell you who the heroic pilot was!
Like MOMMIE DEAREST or THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW the worse it gets the harder it is to shake. You celebrate the horrible dialogue & cringe worthy special effects which are on par with the short-lived GALACTICA 1980. Joe Gross who was an FX artist on the original BATTLESTAR GALACTICA helped as did Peter Albiee; a contributor to V: THE SERIES. The visual effects were artlessly applied by Peter BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY Anderson. The only element that actually works perfectly is Lalo THE AMITYVILLE HORROR Schifrin's opulent score which ultimately feels ironic considering the kamikaze mission everyone else is clearly on. If you get off on watching movies like EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE or WHEN TIME RAN OUT...you will love THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT 1979. Author Arthur Hailey who wrote the trend setting best-seller which inspired this classic film franchise didn't! He later attempted to revive his original formula for a 1985 television movie pilot called INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT starring series regular George Kennedy & Blakely as different characters but CBS declined. The catastrophic failure of THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT 1979 coupled with a toxic cloud of satire hanging over the films because of the AIRPLANE movies spelled doom for the brand. The aircraft used crashed IRL killing all on board in 2000 instantly btw. We should have been so lucky! - DirectorRuggero DeodatoStarsJames FranciscusMimsy FarmerVenantino VenantiniA reporter tries to stop the crash of an aircraft after uncovering an airline's plot to save their business by sabotaging Concorde flights and have them decommissioned.James Franciscus was a staple of disaster movies like CITY ON FIRE and WHEN TIME RAN OUT... but also worked the Italian grindhouse circuit on cult classics such as THE LAST SHARK & Dario Argento's THE CAT O'NINE TAILS. THE CONCORDE AFFAIR '79 isn't entirely a disaster movie any more than Franciscus' KILLER FISH was a full-on rip-off of JAWS. This low budget Italian mockbuster has to get by largely on a script padded with espionage rather than the it's multi-million dollar counterpart THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT 1979 which could afford more than stock footage of the aircraft in flight
Franciscus plays a manly reporter who packs a speedo & a gun while tracking the story of an evil airplane manufacturer (Joseph LADY FRANKENSTEIN Cotten) sabotaging the competition. While scuba diving the ocean floor where a super sonic lies like the 747 did in AIRPORT ' 77 two years before, the reporter discovers a kidnapping plot. Stewardess Mimsy FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET Farmer is being held hostage by goons. To free the witness our hairy chested hero must fight for his life against Venantino EXTERMINATORS OF THE YEAR 3000 Venantini & his goon Ottaviano ZOMBIE 2 Dell'Acqua but time is running out! Cotton has ordered a 2nd plane knocked out of the sky AIRPORT 1975-style.
This adventure yarn has a James Bond flavour & was a fitfully entertaining VHS rental but THE CONCORDE AFFAIR '79 can't deliver that kind of viewing experience either. Ruggero Deodato (the grade Z Italian hack who made this ambitious Euro-trash) is known to genre addicts for hits like CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK & RAIDERS OF ATLANTIS. This far less violent pic was written by Renzo CANNIBAL Genta & Ernesto 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK Gastaldi who were also a little out of their element. They were capably assisted by composer Stelvo PIRANHA PART TWO: THE SPAWNING Sipirioni & cinematographer Frederico EATEN ALIVE Zani. Less credit goes to the overworked FX crew which included Fabio YETI: GIANT OF THE 20TH CENTURY Traversani, Stephan ISLAND OF THE FISH MEN Travi & Valerio ALIEN CONTAMINATION Mazzoli.
If you're a fan of Italian B movies from the era you'll probably like THE CONCORDE AFFAIR '79. You may even argue it's a better movie than the film that inspired it but there's something operatic about THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT 1979 which is one of the worst sequels ever made. The founder of the Razzie Awards correctly identified it as being one of the 100 most enjoyable bad movies ever made. That makes it special. Even Deodato would agree this is not his best work. - DirectorWes CravenStarsLouis JourdanAdrienne BarbeauRay WiseAfter a violent incident with a special chemical, a research scientist is turned into a swamp plant monster.
- DirectorJim WynorskiStarsDick DurockHeather LocklearLouis JourdanIn this tongue-in-cheek sequel, the benevolent bog creature falls for the vegetarian, plant-loving daughter of the evil scientist who created him.Jim Wynorski got his start in the business as a protege of Roger Corman cranking out pics like DEATHSTALKER II, CHOPPING MALL & BIG BAD MAMA II. This unexpected sequel to the minor Wes Craven hit received a boost from the simultaneous release of the DC / Warner blockbuster BATMAN & rates among the cultish film maker's best work, IMO. The quippy screenplay was by Neil THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH Cuthbert & Grant Morris who was (ir)resonsible for Alan Smithee's SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE. THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING is; truth to tell, every bit as TERRIBLE as those infamous flops however this has endless camp appeal & a wonderful cast; especially Dick Durock. Durock was more of a trained stuntman but radiated personality under pounds of makeup as the Imperious Leader on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA or as SWAMP THING.
Our hero as you may recall from reading the classic Len Wein/ Bernie Wrightson comics was once a peaceful scientist who became fused with the bog after an explosion in his lab. Dr Holland is now the defender of the swamp & the sworn enemy of Dr. Arcane who is creating an army of laugh out loud funny B movie monsters while searching for the secret of eternal life. Louis Jordan (also reprising his role from the 1982 feature) is the 2nd most under-rated villain in a DC superhero pic after Faye Dunaway in SUPERGIRL. You can't take your eyes off him for a second & you don't dare! DYNASTY star Heather Locklear HATES this movie almost as much as Dunaway does MOMMIE DEAREST but she exudes charisma, sex appeal & has been given some of the best lines as Abigail Arcane. She was also given a mean-spirited Razzie Award as a slap in the face she didn't deserve. Abigail has been lured to the fortified plantation so her insane step father can drain her life force.
The cast also includes Sarah Douglas who was quite unforgettable as one of a trio of Kryptonian villains in SUPERMAN I & II and Ace Mask as another henchman named Dr. Rochelle. The character would reoccur in NOT OF THIS EARTH and the atrocious GHOULIES IV. A flashy montage of of cover art set to Clearance Clearwater Revival's Born On a Bayou gets the silly ball rolling.
Despite the low budget there's quite a few striking creature designs thanks to a crew truly gifted in the art of special make up effects. Dean DAY OF THE DEAD Gates, Carl ALTERED STATES Fullerton & Steve FRIGHT NIGHT Neill help make this guilty pleasure more fun than you'd ever imagine. I'd watch it any day over some of the other superhero movies from the era including HOWARD THE DUCK, Roger Corman's FANTASTIC FOUR, SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE or Albert Pyun's infamous adaption of CAPTAIN AMERICA. This pleasant surprise was followed by a successful weekly syndicated series & a short-lived animated version also titled SWAMP THING. - StarsMark Lindsay ChapmanDick DurockScott GarrisonWhen an attempt on Dr. Alec Holland's life leaves him consumed by deadly chemicals and fire, the swamps of Louisiana transform him into a superhuman creature hell-bent on ridding the swamp--and the world--of the evil that men do.
- CreatorGary DaubermanMark VerheidenStarsCrystal ReedVirginia MadsenAndy BeanAbby Arcane returns home to Marais, Louisiana to investigate a deadly swamp-borne virus, only to discover the dark, terrifying mysteries of the swamp.SWAMP THING was the 3rd televised series for the cultish DC superhero created by Len Wein & Berni Wrightson. The USA network aired a very short-lived animated adventure series for kids and a popular live-action incarnation. That version ran for three 1/2 hour syndicated seasons & was spun-off from two theatrical releases; Wes Craven's SWAMP THING & Jim Wynorski's THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING. This hotly anticipated adaptation by Gary SMALLVILLE Dauberman & Mark SALEM'S LOT Verheiden is better than all the rest put together! Pity it didn't last...
Andy IT CHAPTER TWO Bean stars as scientist named Alec Holland who is murdered in a haunted bog. In his place arises SWAMP THING (imposing actor Derek DEAD SNOW 2: RED VS DEAD Mears) who is imbued with the memories of the man who was killed. The 10 episode series concentrated on the mysterious origin of the classic superhero & his connection to a virus devastating the Louisiana community. Crystal GOTHAM Read costarred as Dr Abigail Arcane whose return to help determine the cause of the outbreak inadvertently throws everybody's lives into chaos. The unhappily married Maria (Virginia DUNE Madsen) & Avery (Will THE PUNISHER Patton) each harbour an obsession tied to our heroes. Maria has visions of her dead daughter. She holds Abigail responsible for her loss. Avery wants the secrets Holland took with him to his grave & will scoop them out of SWAMP THING's skull with his bare hands if that's what it takes. Jennifer FLASHDANCE Beals had a major part as a crooked cop having an affair with the equally nefarious Avery. Adrienne Barbeau who co-starred with Dick Durock in the original film is a briefly seen treat for fans while Kevin THE STRAIN Durant takes over the role of Floronic Man last seen in 1997's BATMAN & ROBIN.
SWAMP THING was unfortunately swamped with superfluous characters calculated to be spun off into a JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK show, DC had such confidence. I had no interest whatsoever in the Blue Devil character or the actor who played him; Ian SHARKNADO Zierring. Jeryl THE WALKING DEAD Prescott was unrecognisable compare to the Madame Xanadu I remember faintly from the comic Doorway to Nightmare. Macon Blair played The Phantom Stranger badly. I can't even imagine why the writer/director of THE TOXIC AVENGER was selected he's so utterly wrong! The Phantom Stranger was a favourite supernatural hero & this interpretation is a slap in the face to fans. As much as I enjoyed this smart & genuinely scary show I'm knocking a star off for the time wasted by these unnecessary tie ins.
As promising as SWAMP THING was it was cancelled shortly after the 1st episode made it to air making it the highest profile BOMB of it's type since Marvel's THE INHUMANS. Incentives the producers believed were in place to offset costs weren't so the costly show was immediately ordered to shut down production leaving story lines unresolved. Hundreds of artists contributed to the exciting visual & audio appeal of SWAMP THING; far too many to have the time to brag about. Head's up though; these are among the best CG elements seen in a superhero series to date. Highly recommended. - DirectorBrett LeonardStarsJack ThompsonMatthew Le NevezSteve BastoniAgents of an oil tycoon vanish while exploring a swamp marked for drilling. The local sheriff investigates and faces a Seminole legend come to life: Man-Thing, a shambling swamp-monster whose touch burns those who feel fear.Steve Gerber was a highly regarded writer who got his start in the comic book crossover biz in '79 with the Saturday morning cartoon THE PLASTIC MAN COMEDY/ADVENTURE HOUR. He is best known for creating 2 cultish titles for Marvel; HOWARD THE DUCK and MAN-THING. Brett Leonard is mostly remembered for directing THE LAWNMOWER MAN which was so bad Stephen King sued to have his name removed from the credits. The script was from Hans Radionoff who's written a handful of forgettable tv movie follow ups including THE LOST BOYS 3: THE THIRST, THE SKULLS II and DEEP BLUE SEA 2 all of which look like CITIZEN KANE next to MAN-THING. The magazine giant simultaneously published a limited series reboot based on this FLOP which ranks as being one of the worst superhero adaptions ever committed to film.
The character of MAN-THING made his debut in the anthology series Adventures Into Fear in May 1971 a month before rival DC showcased SWAMP THING in issue 92 of House of Secrets. Both were obvious rip offs of the 1942 stories featuring The Heap. This fast and loose bastardisation of Gerber's work stars Matthew ABSENTIA Le Nevez as the new sheriff of a Native American community whose sacred land is being destroyed by an oil baron named Schist (Jack THE THORN BIRDS 2: THE MISSING YEARS Thompson). The former sheriff is missing & believed dead as are dozens of others who have vanished in the polluted swamp. With the help of green activist Rachael JENNIFER JONES Taylor the cop closes in on the origin of MAN-THING. A Seminole elder played by Rawiri ATTACK OF THE SABRETOOTH Paratene informs the couple that the evil Schist killed Ted Sallis in the Dark Waters. The bog is the nexus of all realities and it has selected the victimised Indian to be it's guardian. MAN-THING is a champion of the oppressed and a defender of Earth. The creature was played loutishly by Conan Stevens who gets cast a lot as ogres in fantasy films. Mostly this is a CG 'performance' and the design looks nothing like the character fans loved. Knowing how successfully DC articulations of SWAMP THING have been since 1982 how in the name of god does MAN-THING look like garbage in 2005?
With an alleged 5 million dollar budget there's no excuse for Marvel's cult classic superhero to look like a CG tree with angry tentacle-branches stabbing Australian extras. Yes, this was filmed on the cheap in Australia using mostly their actors and technicians. MAN-THING feels nothing like the Louisiana bayou obviously further compromising what little the production brought to the creative table. This gory video sat on the shelf for two years before being dumped into television syndication. Many Aussie digital firms contributed to the ugly, amateurish CG & visual effects including LaB Sydney, Atlab Australia and Rising Sun Pictures and I'm knocking a star off for their dismal work. This is as drastically inferior visually as Albert Pyuns infamous 1990 version of CAPTAIN AMERICA or Roger Corman's unreleased 1994 catastrophe FANTASTIC FOUR. As a cinematic masochist I defy you to watch MAN-THING as a double feature paired with HOWARD THE DUCK to get the full soul crushing effect. In 2022 MAN-THING would make a welcome return in a more traditional & recognisable form in the TV film WEREWOLF BY NIGHT. 1/10 - DirectorWillard HuyckStarsLea ThompsonJeffrey JonesTim RobbinsA sarcastic humanoid duck is pulled from his homeworld to Earth where he must stop an alien invasion with the help of a nerdy scientist and a struggling female rock singer.HOWARD THE DUCK was a vanity film for executive producer George Lucas who was basking in STAR WARS glory and determined to use the cultish comic book fowl to showcase his latest creation; Industrial Light & Magic. Steve Gerber wrote the satiric Marvel superhero as a spin off of MAN-THING but the screenplay for this 40 million dollar special effects extravaganza was the work of Hollywood power couple Gloria Katz and director Willard Huyck who rose to fame in the early 1970s for their collaboration on Lucas' AMERICAN GRAFFITI. The married writers took home a Razzie award for their tedious script while Huyck received a nomination for Worst Director but was spared the indignity by Prince's UNDER THE CHERRY MOON. This infamous box office bomb was also nominated for Worst Picture of the Decade but lost to MOMMIE DEAREST. Take heart in knowing HOWARD THE DUCK did win Worst Picture at the 1987 Golden Raspberry Awards long before CATWOMAN and FANT4STIC made it fashionable to do so in the comic genre. ILM; the special effects company's success was assured regardless but Huyck never directed again.
HOWARD THE DUCK was played by a half dozen or more small actors wearing a Donald Duck like costume as the CG wasn't realistic enough. Chip LOVE, SIDNEY Zien was hired in post production to voice act the unconvincing immigrant from Duckworld. The lead suitmation actor was Ed THE ADVENTURES OF BULLWINKLE & ROCKY Gale who also did stunts. A host of make up people and puppeteers also contributed to the over articulated bird which won a Razzie for Worst New Star. Howard is zapped to our world when an experimental laser created by Dr Jenning is fired into space. The duck befriends the lead singer of the Cherry Bombs. Beverly Switzler (Lea THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES Thompson's singing stinks so bad she won a Razzie for Worst Song. Nonetheless Howard agrees to be her lover and manager. She in turn introduces him to the lab assistant who's magic teleportation device displaced Howard. Worst Actor nominee Tim GREEN LANTERN Robbins plays the janitor at Jenning's lab who believes the laser can be used to shoot him back to the planet of the ducks. Veteran character acter Jeffrey BEETLEJUICE Jones plays the maniacal inventor who accidentally teleports another alien to earth before Howard can be returned. The Dark Overlord takes possession of the scientist who intends to conquer the world unless the master of quack fu can thwart his evil plans.
None of the cast are any good stuck with this headache inducing nonsense but Jones is especially problematic to look at on film since he plead guilty to child porn. He's a terrible human being like Amber Heard or OJ Simpson or Jussie Smollett and when you see him onscreen you cringe knowing what he got caught doing. The visual effects are as bombastic as any you'd see in blockbusters like GHOSTBUSTERS II or THE FRIGHTENERS. Despite the innovations ILM was known for HOWARD THE DUCK was built around old school, practical special FX. The colourful fantasy action works great although it's buried under a lot of explosive noise. Richard WON TON TON: THE DOG WHO SAVED HOLLYWOOD Kline provided competent cinematography to give this turkey the look of a comic strip. Sylvester WHERE THE BOYS ARE '84 Levey and John THE COTTON CLUB Barry kicked in to the unpleasant soundtrack which gets drowned out with background noise and yelling too much of the time. Because of the unsavoury history of Jones preying on boys it's hard to recommend HOWARD THE DUCK even as a guilty pleasure. As a final kick in the cinematic teeth the Razzie's awarded Lucas' Industrial Light & Magic Worst Special FX as if you needed another reason not to watch. HOWARD THE DUCK would appear next as a cameo towards the end of 2014s GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. 1/10 - DirectorEdward ZwickStarsJoan HackettJennifer WarrenJoan CollinsPilot for the television series introduces the mothers of teenage fashion models who market their daughters for a powerful agent.This 2 part ABC mini-series was Edward Zwick's tv movie debut after his Emmy winning work on the classic Aaron Spelling drama FAMILY. Zwick is better known for his Oscar worthy films such as SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE and LEGENDS OF THE FALL but this wonderfully trashy pilot for a prime time soap built around the fashion industry is where he got to spread his wings. Leah Marcus brought a ton of experience to the melodramatic table having written for several top rated soaps from the 1980s including DALLAS, FALCON CREST and DYNASTY. If that's not enough to pique your interest read on!
This racy, adult soap opera centered on the intertwining careers & love lives of 2 teenage models; Darryl KILL BILL VOL. 1 Hannah as Taryn Blake & Alexandra MELROSE PLACE Paul an Racine's latest discovery Laurie Caswell. The very appealing actors are perfectly cast as beautiful young frenemies both of whom work for power agent Racine (Joan PACIFIC PALISADES Collins chewing the scenery like no other!). As if these three weren't bad enough the teenagers stage moms are also drawn into the backstage duplicity. Joan ONLY WHEN I LAUGH Hacket is frightening as Taryn's uber competitive mom while Laurie's more grounded parents were played by Jennifer FIRST YOU CRY Warren & Craig T. PARENTHOOD Nelson. Supporting cast included Marc V: THE SERIES Singer as an oily photographer, Antonio WHORE Fargas, Barry THE IRISHMAN Primus and Eric THE FLY II Stoltz as Laurie's down to earth brother Steve.
Jack THE MONEYCHANGERS De Shields handled the solid production design while DYNASTY II: THE COLBYS' Nolan Miller created the sensational wardrobes. Iconic composer Mark MILLENNIUM Snow layered on some fashionable pop tunes to help spice up this involving yarn about globetrotting models and the men who love them. PAPER DOLLS was a well reviewed hit pulling in over 20 million viewers and would return to the network as a weekly series on the 1984 schedule. 6/10. - CreatorLeah MarkusJennifer MillerStarsLloyd BridgesDack RamboMimi RogersThe cut-throat worlds of modeling and cosmetic. Storylines centered around acid-tongued modeling executive Racine, who held fief over the careers of young models Laurie Caswell and Taryn Blake, and cosmetics tycoon Grant Harper.PAPER DOLLS was a lavishly produced prime time soap opera created by Leah Marcus & Jennifer Miller. Marcus was experienced writing TV melodramas like DAYS OF OUR LIVES and DALLAS. Miller is best known for her exceptionally well written mini- series THE DARK SECRET OF HARVEST HOME. This spin-off of the top-rated tv movie from 1982 didn't have a director with the skill of Edward Zwick running the show. Episodes were doled out to folks who preferred the alias: Alan Smithee.
PAPER DOLLS which concerns the glamorous wardrobes every bit as much as the bipolar bedroom antics and boardroom betrayals suffered a terrible blow when DYNASTY's Nolan Miller was also unavailable to design the fabulous apparel. The job went to Judy THE JERK, TOO Truchan who contributed not one memorable design throughout the show's brief run. Robby I STILL DREAM OF JEANIE Ryan applied the lip gloss while old fogey James Hulsey artlessly designed the look of the show. Hulsey was known for THE REAL MCCOYS and MY FAVORITE MARTIAN. He doesn't bring any enthusiasm to this elaborate A-List & widely promoted series. PAPER DOLLS doesn't show a fraction of the energy or style of the '82 pilot.
This highly anticipated sudser was almost entirely recast further alienating viewers. Of the popular cast from the original only Jennifer FIRST YOU CRY Warren returned to play teen model Laurie's mom. Terry STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE Farrell & Nicolette DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Sheridan play best frenemies while employed at the Racine Modelling Agency. Racine was played to perfection by Morgan FLAMINGO ROAD Fairchild. I thought the recasting of Julie by Oscar winner Brenda SUPERGIRL Vaccaro was a step in the right direction. A new power family was introduced named The Harpers. Lloyd VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA Bridges & Mimi SCRUPLES Rogers played Grant & Blair Fenton Harper along with their snipey sons Fenton, Wesley & David (Richard TWIN PEAKS Beymer, Dack SWORD OF JUSTICE Rambo & Jonathan BARE ESSENCE Frakes). Lauren CENTRAL PARK WEST Hutten was hastily added to the Harper family as Grant's conniving ex but the network pulled the plug over viewer apathy after only 14 episodes. The storylines which never caught on remain unresolved. Average but a little disappointing. This feels 'off the rack' when it should have been striving for haute couture. - DirectorSantos AlcocerEdward MannStarsJean-Pierre AumontBoris KarloffViveca LindforsA blind sculptor works on his magnum opus unaware that the skeletons he has been using for armatures are the remains of the victims of his evil wife and that he is the next target.One of Boris THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN Karloff's farewell performances was this lurid, low budget pic shot in Spain then released to US grind house theatres to little fanfare. In this dated rehash of Roger Corman's A BUCKET OF BLOOD the badly aging star plays a blind artist unaware his sculptures are cast from the bones of dead models. His depraved, scheming wife Viveca THE HAND Lindfors & her lover Ruben SANTO IN THE WAX MUSEUM Rojo have been murdering the locals to obtain the skeletons they require.
An art critic (Jean-Pierre MAHOGANY Aumont) & his pretty friends (Rosenda THE SKELETON OF MRS MORALES Monteros, Dyanik THE VAMPIRES NIGHT ORGY Zorakowska) befriend the sympathetic artist & his kinky wife unaware she's plannning to boil them in her CAULDREN OF BLOOD!
The actors are good but some characters are more effective than most with the scenery chewing Lindfors doing a lot of the heavy lifting to keep viewers watching. The cat & mouse marriage to Karloff is fun but the movie drags at times. Edward HOT PANTS HOLIDAY Mann wrote this choppily edited feature along with Santos THE ORGY OF DR ORLOFF Alcocer & John THE FABULOUS JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH Melson. Mann also directed but the real credit goes to a terrific make up department who kept the female cast gorgeous throughout. The meh cinematography was provided by future Oscar winner Gil NICHOLAS & ALEXANDRA Parrondo. Below average. - DirectorJuan IbáñezJack HillStarsBoris KarloffJulissaCarlos EastEvil scientist runs a veritable army of LSD crazed zombies.During his last terminal stage of life the legendary actor Boris THE HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN Karloff filmed what would be his farewell performances. The actor was under contract to appear in 4 grade ZZZ genre pics for Mexico's Azteca Studio. The utterly forgotten Juan Ibanez wrote/directed THE INCREDIBLE INVASION, HOUSE OF EVIL, FEAR CHAMBER & ISLE OF THE SNAKE PEOPLE with a scripting credit assigned to Luis Enrique Vergara for his substandard contributions. Cult film-maker Jack Hill who routinely worked on slightly better schlock like THE BEES and CITY ON FIRE filmed the sequences featuring Karloff in the US for next to nothing. In what some would describe as an act of mercy, he died before their regrettable release.
The sickly actor plays a mad scientist who dresses like Colonel Sanders by day but cavorts among Voodoo worshippers dressed in veils & sunglasses at night. His God fearing closest relative Julissa CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN del Llano and her new friend in the military Carlos TINTORERA: KING OF BLOODY WATERS East are drawn into his web of drug induced slavery and murder. I was NOT! SNAKE PEOPLE (don't you wish the movie also got shorter like the title) is an incomprehensible mess.
Much of the footage is drunk looking pagans swaying around a bonfire while a sneering dwarf half heartedly whips LSD zombies or bites the heads off chickens to summon their mysterious leader. It's tedious enough to induce sleep and rates as badly as the similarly indecipherable VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST. Ross AVALANCHE EXPRESS Hahn took credit for the pitiful fx. The English dubbing is especially atrocious. As much as I love Karloff I could never recommend anyone watch this tasteless garbage. - DirectorJack HillJuan IbáñezJosé Luis González de LeónStarsBoris KarloffEnrique GuzmánChrista LinderIn the European village of Gudenberg in 1890, Prof. Mayer and his assistant Isabel have created a powerful ray machine. One of the powerful rays is shot into space and attracts a flying saucer. The alien pilot decides that the ray poses too great a threat to the universe and must be destroyed. Sex murderer Thomas is possessed by an alien intelligence and infiltrates Mayer's household; Mayer himself is later taken over by an alien mind. Paul Rosten, a young scientist who is in love with Mayer's niece Laura, arrives. The alien "Mayer" and "Thomas" rig the ray gun to explode, killing all who know its secret. Thomas kills Isabel, but before he can murder Laura, Mayer throws off the alien intelligence and she is saved. Mayer realizes that the ray is too powerful for human use, and he destroys it. The flying saucer departs.Cult film maker Jack Hill is best remembered for a handful of collaborations with A.I.P./Roger Corman including THE BIG DOLL HOUSE and FOXY BROWN. He shot the final scenes to feature the iconic Boris THE OLD DARK HOUSE Karloff. The actor was contracted to appear in 4 cheesy south-of-the-border exploitation pics but was too frail to travel to Mexico. Hill shot the dull sequences working from an informal script by Karl Schanzer who only wrote one other; the 2001 Leslie Nielsen video CAMOULFLAGE. Schanzer was an actor who routinely appeared in Hill favorites like BLOOD BATH and SPIDER BABY. Their worthless footage could not be saved by the $200.00 worth of fx James COUNT YORGA...VAMPIRE! Tanenbaum kicked in.
Karloff plays a kindly scientist who fires an atomic laser into outer space attracting the attention of passing U.F.O. The alien in silver pjs parks his plastic saucer in Mexico at the start of the 20th century & decides mankind is a threat to the universe. The telepathic alien takes possession of the body of a brain damaged sex murderer & orders him to kill all the buxom women involved with the experiment. Yerye TARZAN AND THE CITY OF GOLD Beirute is suitably loathsome as the razor wielding killer but he's a terrible actor! Christa THE BLUE DEMON VS THE INVASION OF THE ZOMBIES Linder, Mara THE PLANET OF THE FEMALE INVADERS Monti & Griselda SANTO & THE BLUE DEMON IN ATLANTIS Meija lead the more attractive female cast.
The bulk of this sordid nonsense was directed by Juan SNAKE PEOPLE Ibanez & Jose Luis BLUE DEMON: DESTRUCTOR OF SPIES Gonzalez de Leon. Luis HANGED MAN'S SOUL AGAINST THE BLACK WHIP Verarga contributed to the script which is even worse than Ed Wood's PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. The dismal make up & ridiculous FX were artlessly applied by Antonio THE SAGA OF DRACULA Ramirez & Enrique DR SATAN VS BLACK MAGIC Gordillo further dampening what little there was to recommend about ALIEN TERROR. If THE INCREDIBLE INVASION were a fraction more fun it may have enjoyed a larger cult today because it is unquestionably one of the worst movies ever made. Watching however is a task you won't enjoy! 1/10 - DirectorJuan IbáñezJack HillStarsBoris KarloffJulissaAndrés GarcíaRelatives of a recently deceased man meet at his eerie castle for a reading of the will. They encounter a sinister piano player who turns out to be a toy maker, and his toys are imbued with murderous intentions.Luis Enrique THE EMPIRE OF DRACULA Vergara 'allegedly based HOUSE OF EVIL on the stories of Edgar Allen Poe but don't you believe it! The hack would end his brief career as a writer with 4 poverty row B movies filmed in Mexico. FEAR CHAMBER, ISLE OF THE SNAKE PEOPLE, THE INCREDIBLE INVASION & HOUSE OF EVIL were directed by Juan Ibanez back-to-back using and reusing the same terrible props and cast. What sets these nasty curios apart is that these rancid movies were the last to feature the legendary Boris THE MUMMY Karloff. The sickly actor (unable to travel) was filmed by cult movie icon Jack Hill who is fondly remembered for hits like THE BIG BIRD CAGE and COFFY. The scenes are vaguely grand guignol & so cheaply produced they're well beneath the dignity of the talented people sadly involved.
Karloff plays the crazed patriarch of a cursed family. The Moorehenge line has been haunted by a series of murders where local women have had their eyes torn out! The organ playing inventor invites his last heirs to his fake looking castle with the intention of murdering them to finally end the curse. The toy makers unconvincing gadgets & graceless mannequins murder his unhappy guests until hardly any remain. The muddled script gets even more needlessly convoluted with the introduction of a sleazy lawyer who may be gas lighting everyone!
There's only a handful of actors aside from Karloff worth noting; Andres TINTORERA: KING OF BLOODY WATER Garcia, Arturo DR. SATAN Fernandez, Quentin FRANKENSTEIN, THE VAMPIRE & CO Bulnes and Julissa THE CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN del Llano all of whom were wasted. I knocked a star off for the noisy soundtrack that was left a shambles by Ennio SANTO VS THE STRANGLER Cabiati It's barely recognisable as music for long unpleasant stretches. The special effects were sloppily applied by Enrique SANTO AND THE TREASURE OF MONTEZUMA Gordillo. Of these 4 pitiful farewell performances this was the least intolerable. HOUSE OF EVIL crudely approximates the significantly better work the actor was capable of in Corman's THE TERROR. It's the best of a bad lot IMO & rates 3 of 10 stars. - DirectorJack HillJuan IbáñezStarsBoris KarloffJulissaCarlos EastA scientist notices strange frequencies coming from within the Earth. He and his assistants discover a living rock underneath a volcano. They bring the rock to their lab and discover that in order to survive, it needs the hormones that are produced by humans when they are afraid. They then abduct and sacrifice young girls to keep the living rock alive.Boris THE SON OF FRANKENSTEIN Karloff's farewell performances were 4 low budget Mexican pics released posthumously to little fanfare. The frail actor plays a kind-hearted scientist with a torture chamber in his basement where he and his accomplices terrorise petty, kidnapped women. But all is not what it seems because upstairs is a kitschy 60s mad-scientist laboratory filled with colorful gadgets & a strange new form of life growing inside a tank.
Dr Mantel has discovered a fragment of living volcanic rock that requires the chemicals generated by the brains of human beings in a state of abject panic in order to grow. When one of his more sadistic lab assistants kills a hostage Mantel sees the error of his ways & orders the experimented halted however his cruel nurse Helga (Isela BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA Vega) & her brain damaged lover (Yerye THE INCREDIBLE INVASION Beirute) have other plans! Carlos TINTORERA: KING OF BLOODY WATER East & Santonon from SANTO VS THE BLUE DEMON VS THE MONSTERS also appeared in this muddled, occasionally unpleasant nonsense.
The majority of THE TORTURE ZONE (an alternate title) was written by Luis HOUSE OF EVIL Vergara & directed by Juan SNAKE PEOPLE Ibanez south of the border. The US sequences were written/directed by cult movie icon Jack SPIDER BABY Hill with an assist from cinematographer/ FX artist Austin McKinney who's much, MUCH better known for ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK and THE TERMINATOR. Nobody is especially good & there's nothing to recommend but hardcore genre addicts might want to take a quick peek. - DirectorKevin BrayStarsDwayne JohnsonAshley ScottJohnny KnoxvilleA former U.S. soldier returns to his hometown to find it overrun by crime and corruption, which prompts him to clean house.
- DirectorTripp ReedStarsKevin SorboRichard DillardGail CronauerA man goes back to his hometown that is now overrun with crime and single-handedly takes justice into his own hands.Kevin Sorbo is a versatile actor best known for the long-running television series ANDROMEDA and HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS but he's very good in this first-of-two direct-to-video sequels to Dwayne Johnson's forgettable remake of the 1973 drive-in classic WALKING TALL. The studio ordered two low-budget videos and cast Sorbo who effortlessly assumes the lead. His interpretation may not be as iconic as Bo Svensen's was across 3 films & a tv show and it may not be bolstered by a 50 million dollar budget but he's got more than enough charisma to sell this light material. He's also got the build to make the cleanly executed fight scenes crackle. I also think Sorbo embodies the spirit of the WALKING TALL brand more perfectly than most. In recent years this true American patriot has been blacklisted and condemned by fake news for his unwavering support of Donald Trump.
Sorbo plays a rancher in Texas who becomes the new sheriff in town when the last one (Richard TEXAS JUSTICE Dillard) is murdered by a vicious gang. The grieving son assembles his friends & family in the community to bring the killers to justice and that includes their crooked friends in high places. During one sequence Nick warns a goon to pay $6 for his beer or to get out of the bar. Punches are thrown, tables & pool cues break as everybody's body goes flying but Sorbos. Afterwards, the sheriff congrats himself for making the goon pay a $6 bill with $600 in damage strewn about! If Sorbo wasn't as likeable as he is this cliched action movie schtick wouldn't work. His supporting cast is appealing. Gail JFK Conauer, Todd NORTH AND SOUTH BOOK III: HEAVEN AND HELL Terry, AJ CSI: NY Buckly & Bentley WALKER: TEXAS RANGER-TRIAL BY FIRE Mitchum will help pass the time.
Joe NECESSARY RISK Halpin co-wrote this well-acted vigilante pic with Brian Strasmann for director Tripp Reed. The 3 shot WALKING TALL: THE PAYBACK and it's slightly inferior follow up WALKING TALL: LONE JUSTICE back-to-back to cut costs. The script is loaded with violence but the director keeps the gore off camera as much as possible. Michael SPACEBALLS Lloyd has provided an unusually strong, countrified soundtrack. The brief special effect sequences were capably provided by Everett MACHETE Byron III while Cord 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS Newman supervised the believably staged stunts. What makes this movie so easy to sit through is the competent film editing of Vanick THE SCORPION KING V: BOOK OF SOULS Moradian. His next instalment looks like it was edited by someone who's suffered head injuries. I have no qualm recommending this slickly produced franchise reboot. 6/10 - DirectorTripp ReedStarsKevin SorboYvette NiparHaley RammIn Dallas, when the two prime witnesses against the drug-lord Octavio Perez are murdered by his gangsters in a safe-house, the testimony of the FBI agent Kate Jensen and three other agents become the only chance to keep the criminal in prison. They are lodged in another safe-house to wait for the trial, but the place is invaded by the criminals and the agents are executed. However, Kate is only wounded and her boyfriend Nick believes there is a traitor in the agency and decides to bring her to his ranch in the country to protect her life with his reliable local friends.WALKING TALL: LONE JUSTICE was the 2nd of 2 direct-to-video sequels to Dwayne Johnson's so-so reboot of the cult classic vigilante franchise based on the life of Sheriff Buford Pusser. Bo Svenson played the folk hero in 1973's WALKING TALL & two lesser known instalments before becoming the highest paid star on network TV reprising his signature role for the very short-lived weekly series on NBC. The Rock's re-imaging was one of the 1st franchise opportunities the charismatic superstar was offered after his star turn as THE SCORPION KING. His interpretation strayed very far from the source material and was buried under an unnecessary 45 million dollar budget. The studio ordered 2 low budget videos shot back-to-back in Dallas, Texas starring the affordable Kevin Sorbo. Sorbo's follow ups may never be as widely seen as Johnson's version but his character (an ex marine defending home & country from murderous drug dealers) is slightly superior. I also thought Sorbo gave better HERCULES but I digress.
Sorbo plays the Clark Kentish Nick Prescott who must barricade his Mom's (Gail JFK Cronauer) ranch from violent goons & a crooked official. Elizabeth NOT OF THIS EARTH Baronales, Halay X-MEN: LAST STAND Ramm & Yvette ROBOCOP: THE SERIES Nipor are refreshingly not exploited or victimised as many actresses are in low-budget action pics. There's more gore/violence than I expected with Meredith GRINDHOUSE James doing the finger-chopping & squibs. Keep your eyes peeled for Stella Stevens son Andrew in a supporting role. The still-handsome 75 year old Stevens has been producing wonderful B movie videos for decades! He did NIGHT EYES FOUR: FATAL PASSION, BODY CHEMISTRY 4: FULL EXPOSURE, the hot and bothered INNER SANCTUM reboot and the more recent Sorbo disaster movie FIRE DOWN BELOW. Andrew Stevens work rivals Roger Cormans in quality and you'll find yourself seldom bored. I certainly wasn't bored watching these passable action pics.
Joe INTO THE SUN Halpin co-wrote this slightly gritty yarn with Brian Strasmann. As a former narcotics officer Halpin brings a few interesting things to the table. Filming in Texas also added an element of authenticity. Some of these videos look like they were shot in Ukranian parking lots. Both these spin-offs of the 2004 movie were directed by Tripp Reed who also served as a producer. My one quibble would be the sloppy editing of Vanick KINDERGARTEN COP 2 Moradian. That found footage crap hides a multitude of cinematic sins but it can also detract from a sincere performance. The editing is distracting enough to knock a star off this okay thriller. - DirectorTroy MillerStarsMichael KeatonKelly PrestonJoseph CrossA father who can't keep his promises is killed in a car accident. One year later, he returns as a snowman who has the final chance to put things right with his son before he is gone forever.Michael Keaton cashed in on his BEETLEJUICE/BATMAN RETURNS superstardom by headlining in this 40 million dollar Christmas fantasy from Warner Brothers. The usually reliable actor plays a 'cool' dad who dies one night before the Holiday after breaking his son's heart. He promised he'd be there to see Joe MILK Cross score his 1st hockey goal but died in a non-traumatising car crash instead. The slightly grieving Kelly BATTLEFIELD EARTH Preston tries to bring Mark THE FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS Addy into her son's ruined New Year as a parental substitute but the boy prefers the company of a magic harmonica. Once it's blown Jack is reincarnated as a 'cool' snowman brought to not-so-amazing-life thanks to the puppetry of Jim THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN Henson & millions of dollars worth of CG paint. Father and son bond while snowball fighting with bullies and snowboarding to pop tunes. But was it enough to warm my heart this festive season?
Conditionally...if you buy into the conceit of an 8 foot tall rock star snowman reuniting with his human family briefly before he melts you won't hate JACK FROST. When Preston realises her dead husband's been in the yard the whole time they share an awkward & unconvincing scene despite the glittery FX & swelling music. It's an emotionally empty scene. Keaton doesn't have a good rapport with the giant puppet either. The actor is never inside the clumsy contraption & the features were designed to resemble George Clooney who bailed when he saw the completed script. The young Cross is okay & functions quite convincing with the occasionally distracting special effect. But it's easy to see why JACK FROST failed at the box office. It's a perfectly marketable studio gift but there's very little of worth inside the splendidly designed present.
The generic, pleasant screenplay was mapped out by Mark Johnson who's highest profile films were for Marvel: DAREDEVIL, ELEKTRA & GHOST RIDER. A number of contributors worked on the G rated script including Steve JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH Bloom, Jeff THE QUEEN LATIFAH SHOW Cesario & Jonathan ONCE BITTEN Roberts. Warner unimaginatively assigned Trey Miller to direct this important feature that had the potential to become a perennial favourite like A NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Miller has directed hundreds of hours of television but nothing you'd recognise. BEVERLY HILLS FAMILY ROBINSON is his best known film to date. Miller knows how to set up shots but hasn't an artistic bone in his body. There's nothing special about his work.
Bruce A NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2: OOGIE'S REVENGE Lanolkamp & Denise A VERY MUPPET CHRISTMAS Cheschie suffered inside the snow suit and deserve as much credit for the creature working as Keaton for his quippy vocal contributions. A team of technical wizards from Jim Henson's famed workshop & twice as many Industrial Light & Magic CG artists worked very hard to create the blandish JACK FROST. It's a refreshingly family friendly pic suitable for kids of all ages. They'll rate this a 6/10. - DirectorRob CohenStarsJosh LucasJessica BielJamie FoxxDeeply ensconced in a top-secret military program, three pilots struggle to bring an artificial intelligence program under control before it initiates the next world war.
- DirectorJohn McTiernanStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerF. Murray AbrahamArt CarneyWith the help of a magic ticket, a young movie fan is transported into the fictional world of his favorite action movie character.
- DirectorRingo LamStarsJean-Claude Van DammeNatasha HenstridgeJean-Hugues AngladeWhile seeking answers to the death of the twin brother he never knew he had, a French cop and his sibling's fiancee find themselves pursued by corrupt FBI agents and the Russian mafia.
- DirectorDavid LynchStarsKyle MacLachlanVirginia MadsenFrancesca AnnisA Duke's son leads desert warriors against the galactic emperor and his father's evil nemesis to free their desert world from the emperor's rule.Frank Herbert's 1965 novel DUNE sold 20 million copies putting it in nearly the same league as Jacqueline Susann's VALLEY OF THE DOLLS which sold 30. Over the next 2 decades until his death, Herbert would write 5 popular sequels to his science fiction masterpiece. His son Brian has continued to publish sequels and prequels in the years since. My own interest began to wain circa God Emperor of Dune. Uber producer Dino FLASH GORDON de Laurentiis financed this visually stunning 40 million dollar extravaganza based on the densely worded 1st book many believed impossible to adapt because of it's length and complexity. David Lynch was hired to whittle the book down and film it south of the border in Mexico to maximise that astronomical budget over the course of 3 difficult years. The visionary & controversial writer/director got the job based on the break out critical success of his 1980 hit THE ELEPHANT MAN. Lynch has gone on record as saying he agreed to make DUNE only as a means to an end. Afterwards de Laurentiis would produce BLUE VELVET. Lynch treats DUNE today like toxic waste. He's as contemptible towards the film as Faye Dunaway is of MOMMIE DEAREST. That's too bad as this is one of his most under rated mainstream films.
Jurgen THE KEEP Prochnow & Franchesca KRULL Annis play Duke and Lady Jessica Leto: the rulers of planet Atreides. Despite being ordered not to have a male heir by a group of telepathic witches the royal family produced a noble son named Paul Atreides. Kyle SHOWGIRLS MacLachlin may be the long prophecised saviour of the Freeman tribes of Arrakis so has been marked for death by a group of genetic mutations called guild navigators. The navigators were once people but consuming worm poop turned them into creatures capable of folding space. Because they can spit wormholes the guild are essential to space travel and wield tremendous influence. They know that if Paul is the messiah sent to free the tribes of DUNE he will seize control of the 'spice' (wormpoop) putting them out of business. The Emperor of the Universe; Shaddam (Jose THE CONCORDE...AIRPORT '79 Ferrer) orders the bloated & diseased Baron Harkonnen (Kenneth RHODA McMillan) to launch a sneak attack against the royal family as soon as Paul arrives on the desert world but the young hero survives. Paul and his little sister Alia (Alicia CYBILL Witt) lead the desert warriors against the gay Harkonnen ruler and his evil nephews Rabban (Paul POPEYE Smith) and Feyd. THE BRIDE's fashionable star; Sting played the perverted despot's murderous general. Paul intends to restore DUNE to a lush planet. He has fallen in love with a Freeman warrior named Chani (Sean DR JEKYLL AND MS HYDE Young) but will sacrifice his happiness by marrying Shaddam's daughter (Virginia MOONLIGHTING Madsen) to maintain power. It's complicated. If you never read the book(s) DUNE can be a daunting viewing experience.
The huge internationally flavoured cast also included Freddy THE BLACK CAULDRON Jones, Jack ERASERHEAD Nance, Patrick CHARLIE'S ANGELS Stewart, Richard RAISE THE TITANIC Jordon, Brad THE EXORCIST III Dourif, Everett SILVER BULLET McGill, Linda KINDERGARTEN COP Hunt, Dean WON TON TON: THE DOG WHO SAVED HOLLYWOOD Stockwell and Max EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC Von Sydow. It's hard to find fault with such a prestigious cast but truth be told you as a viewer will have some trouble trying to sort their identities and political leanings with only one sit through. Universal distributed cheat sheets to initial audiences with a glossary of terms. They figured you might need help understanding what a 'Mentat' was even after being introduced to one on Giedi Prime. Audiences were dissatisfied and stayed away from this beautiful blunder in droves. If de Laurentiis was hoping for the critical reception that usually accompanies anything made by the arty-farty Lynch he would be sorely disappointed. DUNE was showered with negative reviews as it sank to the bottom of the box office. The Academy issued this challenging pic one Oscar nomination for Sound Design. Hundreds of craftsmen & genuine artists built these sumptuous sets and stunning costumes. They were robbed of their nominations IMO. Voters may have been irked the Italian producer bypassed US unions to get the film made efficiently.
There's a lot to love about this magnificent flop. Hammer icon Freddie RETURN TO OZ Francis was the film's cinematographer. It's his BEST work. Bob THE FLASH Ringwood dressed his huge cast to reflect the worlds they occupy. It's truly an achievent on the scale of films like GONE WITH THE WIND. The Toto soundtrack feels as spot on as Queen's music was for 1980s FLASH GORDON. Famed Carlo Rambaldi who created the ape for KING KONG made the impressive guild navigators. Scores of visual artists like Albert AIRPORT '77 Whitlock, Kit THE RETURN OF THE JEDI West and Barry MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE Nolan contributed to the sophisticated look of this flawed epic. It's a feast for the eyes but DUNE isn't a lot of fun. The truth is: None of David Lynch's films ever are. It does have endless cult appeal has considerable replay value! Universal padded DUNE with deleted scenes for it's release as a two part tv broadcast further alienating Lynch who had his name replaced with the infamous pseudonym Alan Smithee. 7/10 Remade for TV in 2000 and again for the 2021 big screen reboot. - StarsWilliam HurtAlec NewmanGiancarlo GianniniA three-part miniseries on politics, betrayal, lust, greed and the coming of a Messiah. Based on Frank Herbert's classic science fiction novel.William LOST IN SPACE Hurt & Saskia THE STRANGE CASE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES AND CONAN ARTHUR DOYLE Reeves play the rulers of planet Atreides; Duke Leto & Lady Jessica. Jessica belongs to an order of telepathic nuns who call themselves the Bene Geserrit. They arranged the marriage to produce a female child with specific genetic traits. She in turn would be bred and controlled by the sisterhood who crave political power. Jessica loved the Duke too much & gave him a male & female child. The young Alia (Laura Burton) who was born after the fall of House Atreides was later denounced by the witches as an abomination since she was born with the psychic power of a Bene Geserrit grand master. Alec THE MARINE 6: CLOSE QUARTERS Newman played Alia's older brother Paul whom the order hated and feared even more than his spice-mutated sister. Paul's birth mirrors the prophecies of Arrakis which promise a messiah will lead the Freeman from slavery and transform the desert world into a paradise. So, of course, they want him dead!
Arrakis (aka: DUNE) is the only place in the universe where Spice can be dug up. It's a drug that alters the mind and body of the person who consumes it depending on individual DNA. The Freeman of DUNE have glowy blue eyes. Mentats have red stained lips that indicate they have been imbued with computer-like intellect. He Guild Navigators are a secretive order who wield the same manipulative clout as the witches. Their spice mutation has deformed them grotesquely but given them the ability to fold space making inter stellar travel possible. They know the Messiah will take over spice control from the corrupt Guild and their puppet ruler of the universe Emperor Shaddam (Giancarlo HANNNIBAL Giannini) so order his covert assassination. The Emperor who sees Duke Leto as a political threat plans to kill the family Atreides when they assume the responsibility mining of Spice on the barren planet. Afterwards he plans to marry his daughter Irulan (Julie 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA Cox) to Paul Atreides sworn enemy Feyd (Matt ROSE RED Keeslar) of the House Harkonnen to secure his authority over the enslaved world.
While Feyd and his beastial brother Rabban (Laszlo NYURNBERG Kish) lay in wait for the Atreides family the twisted ruler of Giedi Prime; Vladimir (Ian GRIZZLY II: THE CONCERT McNeice) plots a Pearl Harbour style sneak attack with the help of the space-folding Guild Navigators. That's a lot to digest in one sitting and we haven't even scratched the surface! This is probably why David Lynch's cultish adaptation of Frank Herbert's classic bestseller flopped in 1984. At only 137 minutes there was no way to condense the intricately written novel down without losing the densely written palace intrigue. This Sci Fi Channel mini series was commissioned as a 3 parter running 265 minutes and the writer put those extra minutes to good use! The resurrection of Paul Atreides and Alia as saviours of DUNE is explored with much greater depth as is the despotic Harkonnen family. I was pleasantly surprised by how well written the mini series is given that the man who made it (John Harrison) is best known for horror anthologies like TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE, CREEPSHOW and TALES FROM THE CRYPT.
The fledgling cable station hauled in it's highest rating for it's original content mini spread over 3 consecutive nights. They basked in generally much warmed reviews than Lynch's version which I still prefer slightly. At the Emmy Awards this lavishly produced film was honoured with a nomination for Best Sound design. DUNE won an Emmy for Vitorrio APOCALYPSE NOW Storaro's stunningly beautiful cinematography. The hard working special effects technicians were also awarded with a statuette. They include Chris AMITYVILLE: AWAKENING Zapara, Laurel THE PUNISHER Kick, Ernest FROM THE EARTH TO THE MOON Farino, Tony SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 Anderson, Frank GALAXINA Isaacs and Tim BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY McHugh. The Oscar winning costume designer Theodor AMADEUS Pistek also deserved an Emmy for his amazing creations. This mini series and it's sequel would be his final work. Followed by CHILDREN OF DUNE in 2003. - StarsAlec NewmanDaniela AmaviaJames McAvoyThe twins of Paul "Muad'dib" Atreides become embroiled in the political landscape of Arrakis ("Dune") and the rest of the universe.CHILDREN OF DUNE was a 3 part mini-series sequel to the Sci Fi Channel's smash hit DUNE which also ran over 4 hours for it's broadcast in 2000. The movie was adapted from Frank Herbert's 1969 novel Dune Messiah & the 3rd book CHILDREN OF DUNE originally published in 1976. John Harrison wrote DUNE also & wisely kept close to the script written by David Lynch for the under-rated feature film version produced by Dino de Laurentiis. Harrison's adaptation of the 2nd & 3rd books is a slight improvement over the source material. Neither novel were on par with the 1965 best-seller. He's known mostly for anthology programs like TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE and CREEPSHOW. These movies are great but are difficult to follow. The capable Gary Yaitanes who has toiled endless on tv series like HOUSE M.D. directed and he also does a good job BUT it's prerequisite to watch Paul Muad-dib's first Jihad or you will find CHILDREN OF DUNE confusing.
Handsome Alec THE MARINES 6: CLOSE QUARTERS Newman plays the genetically enhanced Muad-dib; ruler of Arrakis. The prophesized messiah of the Freeman people is trapped in a loveless marriage to Irulan Corrino. Julie 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA Cox plays the bitter wife of Duke Leto Atreides' God-like son. She is forbidden children because Paul's heart belongs to the desert warrior Chani (Barbara CAVE OF THE GOLDEN PATH Kadetovan). The legends foretell the mother of Muad-dib's children will die during their birth. Paul & his telepathic sister Alia (Daniella HART TO HART: TWO IN 3/4 TIME Amavia) are having memories of future events. The messiah sees history changing assassination plots. The psychic sister who came preborn with the power of a bene gesserit witch begins consuming dangerous quantities of spice (wormpoop) to help her see into the future endangering her own life in the process. Paul's iron fisted control over spice production on DUNE and the slaughter of anyone who opposes his politics has left his family a target for envious enemies scattered throughout the galaxy. The 1st instalment lays the foundation for the political dangers the CHILDREN OF DUNE face living in their despised father's shadow over the next two chapters.
Irulan's father Emperor Shaddam has died in exile on the desolate planet Salusa Secundus leaving behind a weak heir. Her twisted sister was played wonderfully by Oscar winner Susan BLUE BEETLE Sarandon. Princess Wensicia Corrino tries to breed her own hatred of the House of Atreides into the heir (John TWO DAYS NINE LIVES Bruun as Ferad'n) but he never lives up to her evil expectations. Instead he marries the grown daughter of the messiah (Jessica SUPERNOVA Brooks as Ghanima) bringing the families even closer. This mirrors the arranged marriage between his aunt Irulan to Paul that healed the breach when Shaddam was deposed. Sarandon was blessed with the best hair, make-up & wardrobe tv movie money could buy. Academy Award winner Theodor AMADEUS Pistek designed her fetching, futuristic frocks & is why the entire cast looks fabulous. The iconic actress with controversial political views IRL had bizarre hairstyles in addition to an amazing assortment of outfits. The hair stylist was given an Emmy nomination for her outstanding designs. Sarandon's a great actress who doesn't need a lot of help but seeing her tarted up like Emperor Ming from FLASH GORDON is a sight to behold! She has aligned herself with the space folding Guild Navigators who initially conspired to bring down the Atreides bloodline. The traitors ultimate plan is to kidnap a sandworm thereby breaking DUNE's stranglehold over spice production and restoring power to House Corrino.
Ian GRIZZLY II: THE CONCERT McNeice returns from the dead as Baron Vladimir Harkonnen having taken psychic possession of Alia. Alia's spice addiction has left her vulnerable to attack. He forces her to terrorise the Freeman of Arrakis while Paul is lost and believed dead. Not even the love of her mentat Duncan Idaho can drive the despot's influence away. Idaho's character was killed during Duke Leto's assassination but has been brought to life as a ghola. The clone has been genetically programmed to help bring down Paul Muad'dib's political party. Edward THE HUNCHBACK Atterton was replacing James Watson. The awesome Alice Krig who may be best known for her scary performance as the Borg Queen in the STAR TREK franchise also replaced actress Saskia Reeves without missing a beat. She's Leto's widow Lady Jessica who is living with the telepaths on Caladan but monitors the drama unfolding with an unflinching eye. The coming of a mysterious stranger believed to know Leto II (James X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST McAvoy) is of particular interest in the aftermath of a an atomic attack on DUNE. CHILDREN OF DUNE was nominated for Emmy Awards in the categories of Outstanding Make Up and Outstanding Sound Design. CHILDREN OF DUNE won the Emmy for Outstanding Visual Effects. The team of Vit POSEIDON Kowzy, Dan CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER McCoy, Ernest TAKES OF THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE Farho, Chris AMITYVILLE: AWAKENING, Michael MORTAL CONQUEST: CONQUEST Hoover, Glenn WAR OF THE WORLDS: ANNIHILATION Campbell, Tim BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY McHugh, Andrew WAR OF THE WORLDS 2: THE NEXT WAVE Harlow & Barry GODZILLA Howell all were rewarded with the gold statuette. Despite posting high ratings to fair reviews Sci Fi opted not to move forward with a rumoured weekly series. The franchise would be rebooted in 2021. 6/10 - DirectorDenis VilleneuveStarsTimothée ChalametRebecca FergusonZendayaA noble family becomes embroiled in a war for control over the galaxy's most valuable asset while its heir becomes troubled by visions of a dark future.
- DirectorDenis VilleneuveStarsTimothée ChalametZendayaRebecca FergusonPaul Atreides unites with Chani and the Fremen while seeking revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family.
- DirectorFrank PerryStarsFaye DunawayDiana ScarwidSteve ForrestThe abusive and traumatic adoptive upbringing of Christina Crawford at the hands of her mother, screen queen Joan Crawford, is depicted.Before Christina Crawford's corpse-kicking celebrity tell-all MOMMIE DEAREST shot to the top of best seller lists the bitter author signed a deposition swearing there was no abusive relationship. She and her bipolar brother Christopher were trying to convince the courts their mother; Academy Award winning actress Joan Crawford was senile at the time she wrote her will leaving her adopted children without an inheritance. The two estranged adults were suing for a million a piece & insisted they were on loving terms with their famous Mother throughout their lives. Only deteriorating mental health could account for her decision to leave them without a penny in her last will & testament. The surprise was on them...Miss Crawford wrote the will almost a decade before & was very much in control of her faculties. Christine fled the courtroom and rushed straight to her publisher to cut a book deal promising all the dirt three quarters of a million could buy. The brother eventually accepted a 25-50 grand settlement from the estate to get rid of the mooch. And you know not one penny of his undeserved loot went to the 3 kids he abandoned or his wife. Christopher's wife and mother remained on speaking terms even after he fled his adult responsibilities. He was also paid 15 hundred by his greedy sister for the rights to use his name in MOMMIE DEAREST & the film which was in the works.
Christina's badly written expose of her infinitely better known mother is as worthless as as Harry & Markle's ridiculous claims about the royal family or the vicious biography Bette Davis' ungrateful kid sold to the fake news press; Mother, Goddamn. Producer Frank Yablans scooped up the film rights and hired Oscar winner Faye SUPERGIRL Dunaway to star. Crawford herself went on record as saying Dunaway was the ONLY woman in Hollywood who could play her in a movie. The iconic actress who shot to the top of her profession in THE TOWERING INFERNO and BONNIE AND CLYDE is magnificent as Crawford. Dunaway delivers a truly unforgettable performance. The sight of her in period costume will take your breath away. The wardrobe staff (5 time Oscar winner Irene WEST SIDE STORY Sharaff & Bernadene EYES OF LAURA MARS Mann) along with the folks seeing to hair & make up (Lee CHINATOWN Harman, Kathryn ONCE UPON A TIME...IN HOLLYWOOD Blandell & Claud WON TO TON: THE DOG WHO SAVED HOLLYWOOD Diaz) have achieved a fantastic simulation of Crawford in her hey day at the studio to her death. The detail & nuances give this cult classic replay value as does Dunaway in character. She's phenomenal! She was given a Razzie instead of an Oscar. So was Yablans who deserved one for 1977's THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT. He also shared a Worst Screenplay Award with Frank MONSIGNOR Parry, Tracy BIG SHAMUS, LITTLE SHAMUS Hotchner and Robert SWEET DREAMS Getchell. Parry won the Worst Director razzie while the gorgeous production won for Worst Picture, Worst Picture of the Decade and was nominated for a third; Worst Picture of the Quarter Century.
With the help of her lawyer/lover (Worst Actor Steve JACKIE BROWN Forrest) the unmarried Crawford is able to adopt two kids Christina & Christopher. Mara THE HAND Hobel played the girl and midway through turns over the juicy part to Diana Scarwid. Both actresses were slapped with a Worst Supporting actress nomination on Razzie night but Scarwid earned top prize. She also beat out Rutanya AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION Alda who co-starred as Crawford's long suffering assistant. Christopher's screen time is almost as small as share of of his unscrupulous sister's windfall. The part exists mostly to nod his head in agreement to her terrible lies. During the infamous 'No Wire Hangers!' scene Christopher is shown wearing a prescribed bed harness as the child IRL ran away at night and even made headlines in the tabloid press. His behaviour resulted in numerous embarrassing headlines even after the MILDRED PIERCE star's death in 1977. Christina makes no mention of Christopher's obvious mental health issues...or her own. The sensationally over the top sequence had audiences rolling in the aisles in laughter. I remember laughing through most of Christina's novel, too. It was GARBAGE! Christina continues to grave-rob her mother's legacy for loose change in the millennium despite the fact she's been busted for lying on each and every trashy page of her book. The movie is actually better than the book. Mabel & Scarwid are every bit dialled in to their roles as Dunaway. They are committed and credible whereas the RL Christina Crawford is not.
Cinematographer Paul TRILOGY OF TERROR Lohmann lit the fabulous sets to perfection while Peter FATAL ATTRACTION Berger stitched the campy melodrama together seamlessly in the editing room. Peter THE PINK PANTHER Mancini wrote the tasteful score which is worth owning IMO. Talk about pouring perfume on a PIG! Audiences flocked to. MOMMIE DEAREST despite the catastrophic critical fallout. The overly maligned bio pic isn't believable so viewers chuckled at the hyperventilating 10 million dollar soap opera theatrics. Garbage goes in, garbage comes out. I'd rate this guilty pleasure easily a 6-7 out of 10 because it's outrageous like THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. I'm gifting it the same 1/10 I give fascinating disasters like BATTLEFIELD EARTH or CATS. It's so wildly Grande Guignol yet exquisitely designed it almost transcends casual description as being good or bad. It stinks a little of cobra venom is all. - DirectorTodd PhillipsStarsJoaquin PhoenixRobert De NiroZazie BeetzDuring the 1980s, a failed stand-up comedian is driven insane and turns to a life of crime and chaos in Gotham City while becoming an infamous psychopathic crime figure.
- DirectorTodd PhillipsStarsJoaquin PhoenixZazie BeetzCatherine KeenerSequel to the film "Joker" from 2019.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleBam MargeraChris PontiusJohnny Knoxville and his band of maniacs perform a variety of stunts and gross-out gags on the big screen for the first time.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleSteve-OChris PontiusChris Pontius, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Bam Margera, and the whole crew return to the screen to raise the stakes higher than ever before.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleBam MargeraPreston LacyThe Jackass crew reunite to discuss their experiences with Jackass Number Two and show off some unused content and ideas.JACKASS 2.5 is a spin off of the distasteful MTV series that ran for 25 episodes between 2000-2002 featuring grown men performing stunts & pranks designed to amuse or sicken the 12 year olds it was built for. While it was briefly, insanely popular with a very youthful demographic it also generated controversy because it encouraged prankish, repulsive behaviour. It's creators were Jeff NITRO CIRCUS Tremaine, Oscar winner Spike HER Jonze & Johnny THE DUKES OF HAZARD Knoxville the latter of whom went on to headline every JACKASS feature made since including JACKASS PRESENTS BAD GRANDPA and BAD GRANDPA .5
JACKASS NUMBER TWO was released theatrically whereas this much shorter collection of deleted scenes, interviews, bloopers and filler was released to MTV subscribers and marketed as a sequel. Aside from writers Knoxville & Tremaine scribe/stuntman Bam THE BATES HAUNTING Margera, Dave REVENGE OF THE BOARDING SCHOOL DROP OUTS England, Preston GRIND Lacy, Chris MY DEAD DAD Pontius, Jason ELF MAN Acuna, Steve-O (the star of MTV's TOTALLY BUSTED), Ehren ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE McGhehey & Ryan A HALFWAY HOUSE CHRISTMAS Dunn also perform nauseating acts of self abuse for your entertainment.
Crabs are affixed to nipples and scrotums, men defecate on one another, various objects are inserted into anuses, miniature motor bike races are held in grocery stores, elderly types pee in corners, people on the street are humiliated, prostrate exams are given, sperm donations are made, etc. The guys who made this laugh throughout AS IF 95% wasn't pitiful. I laughed impolitely 3 times. None of these guys are role models by any stretch of the imagine and half or more are addicts or have been arrested. When I was a boy parents with sense would turn this off it they found their child watching. Today young people perform far worse stunts looking for attention on Tik Tok etc. I can't recommend anyone watch JACKASS 2.5 because of the obvious drug culture behind the scenes. It's just beneath my dignity. That didn't keep the fans away. Followed by JACKASS 3D. 3/10 - DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleSteve-OBam MargeraJohnny Knoxville and company return for the third installment of their TV show spin-off, where dangerous stunts and explicit public displays rule.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleBam MargeraSteve-OInterviews with the Jackass cast and crew are interspersed with unused material of stunts, tricks, antics and pranks shot during the production of Jackass 3D.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleSteve-OChris PontiusAfter 11 years, the Jackass crew is back for another crusade.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleSteve-OChris PontiusThrough outrageous, never-before-seen footage, witness the making of the Jackass crew's last go at wild stunts.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleJackson NicollGregorio86-year-old Irving Zisman takes a trip from Nebraska to North Carolina to take his 8 year-old grandson, Billy, back to his real father.
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleJackson NicollJack PolickAn unrated version of Bad Grandpa which includes over 40 minutes of additional outtakes and interviews.