Films of 2018, Part II: The Lows
First of all a P.S. to last year’s list: Woody Allen has always been one of my favorites, but that shouldn’t have kept me from naming WONDER WHEEL one of the worst films of 2017. Then again, I was saddened by the fact that he couldn’t complete a film in 2018 – the first year without a WA-film since 1981.
Now on to 2018. There were only 18 films really that sucked. Here they come, as always counting down from 18 to 1 (The worst of them all coming last).
Now on to 2018. There were only 18 films really that sucked. Here they come, as always counting down from 18 to 1 (The worst of them all coming last).
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- DirectorLynne RamsayStarsJoaquin PhoenixJudith RobertsEkaterina SamsonovA traumatized veteran unafraid of violence tracks down missing girls for a living. When a job spins out of control, Joe's nightmares overtake him as a conspiracy is uncovered leading to what could be his death trip or his awakening.No. 18
TAXI DRIVER for the 21st century? Unconvincing from A to Z. And ridiculously self-important, especially acting-wise. - DirectorJennifer Yuh NelsonStarsAmandla StenbergMandy MooreBradley WhitfordAfter a disease kills 98% of children, the survivors develop powers and are declared a threat. 16-year-old Ruby, escapes the government facility and joins a group of rebel teenagers ready to fight the government forces out to get them.No. 17
Another rip-off of THE HUNGER GAMES / THE MAZE? Puhleeeze. It looked so amateurish that I almost felt pity. - DirectorCüneyt KayaStarsJosefine PreußNilam FarooqKida Khodr RamadanNo. 16
Very low-minded German humor. Glad that this one doesn’t travel far. - DirectorLudovic BernardStarsÉlodie FontanFlorent PeyreDaniel PrévostSibylle, a Parisian working girl, badly needs to land a promotion by buying back a hardware store located in the Basque Country in order to launch a supermarket there.15.
Probably it’s a good sign that even the French can’t get it right every time. This mixture of comedy and ethnic discoveries first seems off the mark – and then grows dumber by the minute. - DirectorLars von TrierStarsMatt DillonBruno GanzUma ThurmanIn five episodes, failed architect and vicious sociopath Jack recounts his elaborately orchestrated murders -- each, as he views them, a towering work of art that defines his life's work as a serial killer in the Pacific Northwest.14.
Lars von Trier’s career has been a rollercoaster ride all along, but he has not been achieving the heights of BREAKING THE WAVES or DANCER IN THE DARK (or at least MELANCHOLIA) for a while now. THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT is a painful therapy session, thinly concealed as a trip to hell. Along the way, Von Trier’s problems with women reach new lows. - DirectorSusanna FogelStarsJustin TherouxKate McKinnonBlanka Györfi-TóthBest friends Audrey and Morgan unwittingly become entangled in an international conspiracy when one of them discovers that the boyfriend who dumped her was actually a spy.13.
Not funny. Not one bit. - DirectorGarth DavisStarsRooney MaraJoaquin PhoenixChiwetel EjioforTwelve men heard and spread the message of Jesus. Only one woman understood it.12.
Do I have a problem with Joaquin Phoenix? Looks like it. I wish there were a ten-year-Verbot for Jesus-productions. - DirectorJames MarshStarsColin FirthEleanor StaggRachel WeiszThe incredible story of amateur sailor Donald Crowhurst and his solo attempt to circumnavigate the globe. The struggles he confronted on the journey while his family awaited his return is one of the most enduring mysteries of recent times.11.
A downer. But the real problem is that Colin Firth’s character never gets another dimension, let alone a third. Just take another look at ALL IS LOST to see how it’s done. - DirectorRuben FleischerStarsTom HardyMichelle WilliamsRiz AhmedA failed reporter is bonded to an alien entity, one of many symbiotes who have invaded Earth. But the being takes a liking to Earth and decides to protect it.10.
There is nothing more difficult in the movies than to combine laughter with violence, light comedy with sinister touches. This Marvel movie about the yucky Venom-character gives it a go, fails – and then promptly goes into „What the hell!“-mode. The jokes weren’t funny, and the action was as incoherent as can be. (You can’t see what’s really happening.) Ruben Fleischer made ZOMBIELAND a cool feature, but VENOM is much closer to his film noir abomination GANGSTER SQUAD. - DirectorBrian HensonStarsMelissa McCarthyElizabeth BanksMaya RudolphWhen the puppet cast of a '90s children's TV show begin to get murdered one by one, a disgraced LAPD detective-turned-private eye puppet takes on the case.9.
Not funny. Not one bit. - DirectorFlorian David FitzStarsFlorian David FitzMatthias SchweighöferMiriam SteinBest friends Toni and Paul decide to relinquish all of their belongings for 100 days, taking back one item per day. During this challenge, the two realize that the only thing they cannot be without is their friendship. A story about contemporary materialism and the quest for the truly important things in life.8.
My first Schweighöfer-movie in years. Not funny. Not one bit. Furthermore it tries to mix in anticapitalist and anticommercial wisdom. And that is 100 percent hypocritical. - DirectorFede AlvarezStarsClaire FoyBeau GadsdonSverrir GudnasonYoung computer hacker Lisbeth Salander and journalist Mikael Blomkvist find themselves caught in a web of spies, cybercriminals and corrupt government officials.7.
Do I have a problem with Claire Foy? Time will tell. But I really had a problem with this half-baked movie in which all the parties involved commit ridiculous mistakes. And they are supposed to be professionals… - DirectorDrew GoddardStarsJeff BridgesCynthia ErivoDakota Johnson1969. Four strangers check in at the El Royale Hotel. The hotel is deserted, staffed by a single desk clerk. Some of the new guests' reasons for being there are less than innocent and some are not who they appear to be.6.
Another film that is too fond of itself. Overwrought. Overlong. Going for that Tarantino-style without ever coming close. A terrible waste of talented actors. - DirectorAva DuVernayStarsStorm ReidOprah WinfreyReese WitherspoonAfter the disappearance of her scientist father, three peculiar beings send Meg, her brother, and her friend to space in order to find him.5.
Boring. No: booooooooooring. - DirectorDavid Gordon GreenStarsJamie Lee CurtisJudy GreerAndi MatichakLaurie Strode confronts her long-time foe, Michael Myers, the masked figure who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago.4.
Incredible how many bad movies have spun off from John Carpenter’s unforgettable 1978 shocker. For the 40th anniversary all the parties came together and struck an agreement to tell only good things about the latest entry in the Michael-Myers-saga. The only problem: The movie is really bad. And while it is good to see Jamie Lee Curtis looking sharp and duking it out one more time, the film is utterly senseless in the way that it doesn’t have anything to add. - DirectorNash EdgertonStarsJoel EdgertonCharlize TheronDavid OyelowoGRINGO, a dark comedy mixed with white-knuckle action and dramatic intrigue, explores the battle of survival for businessman Harold Soyinka (David Oyelowo) when he finds himself crossing the line from law-abiding citizen to wanted criminal.3.
Another sad reminder that actors are among the worst judges of their work – and of the scripts they read. This comedic thriller gathers Joel Edgerton, David Oyelowo, Thandie Newton, Amanda Seyfried, and an out-of-control Charlize Theron in Mexico for a bunch of lousy jokes and even worse bits of action. Director Nash Edgerton is Joel’s brother, that explains a lot. But it does not explain neither the presence not the performances of Oyelowo, Newton, Seyfried or Theron. - DirectorJames FoleyStarsDakota JohnsonJamie DornanEric JohnsonAnastasia and Christian get married, but Jack Hyde continues to threaten their relationship.2.
I agree that it is quite cheap to include this film here. But what can I say: It IS that bad! So incompetent and unintentionally funny that not even Mel Brooks or the ZAZ-trio could have come up with a parody of this laughable erotic thriller. - DirectorShane BlackStarsBoyd HolbrookTrevante RhodesJacob TremblayWhen a young boy accidentally triggers the universe's most lethal hunters' return to Earth, only a ragtag crew of ex-soldiers and a disgruntled scientist can prevent the end of the human race.1.
Comedy and thriller, haven’t we been there before? Well, yes, but VENOM looks like a masterpiece in direct comparison to THE PREDATOR. Shane Black – who had his moments in the genre with films like KISS KISS BANG BANG and IRON MAN 3 or his scripts for LETHAL WEAPON and THE LAST BOY SCOUT – has made an ugly looking sequel/prequel that sells out the cooler parts of PREDATOR while combining elements of a PG-film with those of an R-rated potboiler. Impossible, in every sense of the word.