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- John Whitmore wakes to find his wife, Anne, disappeared from their bed overnight and a recorded ransom message now remains in her place.
- The night began like any other... Haldemann is making someone else's problems disappear. Meanwhile, The Turtle enjoys a night out gambling and drinking with his less than angelic friends. The night gets better with every throw of the dice. A cocktail waitress catches The Turtle's eye and his luck seems unstoppable when she slips him a napkin that says, "I get off at 2, pick me up out front." When Haldemann gets a phone call from The Turtle, he's thrown onto a collision course with misfortune. Upon arriving at The Knotty Pine Motel, Haldemann quickly assesses the situation and concludes that this will be nothing more than a normal night at work. However, a combination of clumsiness and coincidence quickly causes the situation to spiral out of control.
- A hot disco dancer (Disco Donny) attracts the eye of the new girl in town (Starla). After a scuffle with her boyfriend (Juan) and an intervention from a bartender (Ruckus Roboticus), the dancer wins the girl and they dance into eternity.