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Reviews
Freelance (2023)
Was this written by AI?
The Dialogue in this movie is garbage. It seriously made me wonder if it had been written by AI. It talked about everything in the way a learning child would, repeating things to state this was what it was stating, just like AI does.
The scenes had a really weird flow where all of a sudden there are changes in the scene and the character's demeanour without anything being set up, and it all had that 'then everything changed because now this happened' kind of plot logic, which is exactly the same kind of nonsensical rubbish that AI creates.
It was labelled an action comedy and yet there wasn't any comedy at all really, and the action was absent for the most part.
It is just weird and not very entertaining.
Bushwick (2017)
Utterly pointless movie
Total waste of time watching this. Goes nowhere. Everybody dies. I have to write 150 characters for this review to be accepted, which is also a waste of my time, but there is nothing else to say about it. At least whoever is reading this wont waste their time on it.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Fun slasher
This was entertaining Throughout my it's runtime. Had great pacing. Good gore and kills. 1st TCM movie to have an actual massacre in it. Good revenge plot, but this could of been anyone copying the Leatherface approach. Felt a little rushed in terms of why the character was doing the whole Leatherface thing, but who cares? It's just a bit of daft slasher entertainment. Doesn't have to be a masterpiece.
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)
Terrible film
The dialogue in this film is trash. They literally use Samuel L Jackson's trademark swearing 'phrase' and the F word every other line like they all have tourettes or something. It gets really repetitive and annoying, really fast. It's not comedy, it's just lazy. It's so irritating that it's impossible to care about the plot, characters or even the action. Shame as the first movie was way more entertaining. This feels like a sequel cash-in that nobody involved cared about.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Slasher stabby movie
The characters were dumb like most humans are these days and it was entertaining watching Myers brutally mangle a whole bunch of the flailing spam heads in various ways. It's a slasher movie. That is what happens in them. If you want James wan or Oscar winning boring rubbish go and watch it somewhere else with other boring people and let us slasher fans enjoy the best new slasher film around right now.
A Werewolf in England (2020)
Fun zany horror comedy
People hoping for a high budget werewolf film that is serious in tone will be disappointed with this, but if you're looking for some gory horror comedy with wacky characters, daft dialogue and silly werewolves shenanigans, then this is a laugh riot. Barely a dull minute. Very entertaining
The Retreat (2020)
Good, if you know the legend behind it
I enjoyed this movie, but it's because I already knew quite a bit about the wendigo urban legend and knew what to expect. If you have no idea about the legend then I'm afraid you'll probably find this to be a confusing mess, or at the worst, boring. I guess people might go into this thinking it's a monster movie but it's actually a slow psychological horror with themes of madness. It works as a good homage to the wendigo legend but I have rated down because the legend isn't well enough explained for newcomers. I thought it was a pretty neat serious psychological horror though.
The Barn (2016)
Fun for Halloween
This a great fun horror movie for Halloween night. The dialogue, monsters and hero characters may be really cheesy but it's a lot of fun if you're into zany horror and really decent quality for an independant movie. Plenty of cool horror gore with some neat old school practical effects and great atmospheric visuals to get you in the Halloween mood. It's not from the 80's but has been created in a retro style which evokes a nostalgic feeling for one of the eras where horror was at its best. It's also got a fairly unique plot unlike a lot of other lower budget movies that just mimic other stuff. If you're looking for something serious, scary and grimly dark then this is not for you, but if you're looking for something cheesy, gory and fun to watch on Halloween night then this is a great choice.
Fractured (2019)
Dreadfully depressing
What a miserable movie. Don't watch this if you are a fan of happy endings.
Lost in Space (2018)
Good family SciFi fun
This review is based on seasons 1 and 2. The show differs from a lot of other Science fiction shows out there and it is a good thing. Instead of pushing the bleak and depressing aspects of a dystopian future like most SciFi shows do, this one is a glass half full. Although the Robinson family are constantly in peril, the focus is on keeping the hope and muddling through by banding together as a team, which makes great family viewing.
The characters have a lot to deal with; killer robots, harsh enviromental factors, and a healthy dose of weird alien creatures. There is never a shortage of danger which keeps the pace flowing and keeps it exciting.
The visual effects and musical score are top notch making the show's world very immersive, and the actors do a pretty good job of bringing the characters to life.
The main plot could have been more fleshed out or engaging, but the show's episodic nature did a good job of holding my attention throughout.
Overall a very entertaining show.
Living with Yourself (2019)
Thought provoking drama
This show may have been advertised as some kind of dark comedy or whimsical drama, but it appeals to a more philosophically inclined audience, so don't expect a ton of laughs or exciting moments.
The story deals with the inner struggles related to personal success and failure and explores the theme of identity crisis. It may appeal to viewers intrigued by these issues. More interesting than entertaining, but I found it quite compelling. Easily absorbed in short episodes and I would certainly watch more.
Lost in Space (2018)
Good family SciFi fun
This review is based on seasons 1 and 2. The show differs from a lot of other Science fiction shows out there and it is a good thing. Instead of pushing the bleak and depressing aspects of a dystopian future like most SciFi shows do, this one is a glass half full. Although the Robinson family are constantly in peril, the focus is on keeping the hope and muddling through by banding together as a team, which makes great family viewing.
The characters have a lot to deal with; killer robots, harsh enviromental factors, and a healthy dose of weird alien creatures. There is never a shortage of danger which keeps the pace flowing and keeps it exciting.
The visual effects and musical score are top notch making the show's world very immersive, and the actors do a pretty good job of bringing the characters to life.
The main plot could have been more fleshed out or engaging, but the show's episodic nature did a good job of holding my attention throughout.
Overall a very entertaining show.
The Witcher (2019)
Great dark fantasy
The visuals, soundtrack and performances of the actors all do a great job of bringing the world of the Witcher alive in this show. The plot is a little convoluted as it constantly hops around in time, showing different events where the characters are seen at random points in their lives, and only when the characters meet do we begin to get an idea of how it all pieces together. This isn't that much of an issue as each episode usually enables us to see the back stories of secondary characters whilst also giving us a dose of the exciting monster hunting adventures of the main character, Geralt 'the Witcher', and also builds the world without entire episodes being nothing but endlessley dull exposition. Saying that, the stories of the secondary characters feature plenty of exciting scenes. The monster effects and monster hunting scenes are fantastic and even the sorcery and swordplay scenes against more human enemies are brilliant. The end result is interesting and entertaining and has left me thirsty for more.
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (2018)
Killer puppets for laughs
Like every other Puppet Master movie the plot of this reboot is basically an excuse to show living killer puppets brutally murdering a bunch of people. Which is what I and any other fans of the franchise have come to expect from these movies. The kills are gory and zany and that's about all there was of value in the movie to a horror fan like me. There's a lot of banter about the hatred between Nazis and people they victimized which I didn't care for. The rest is just a vague plot which makes little sense, but the story was left 'to be continued' and so I guess the plot holes may be explored in a follow up film. If you're looking for something meaningful then avoid. If you just want to watch a horror where some puppets brutally attack random people then this is the movie for you. Dumb stuff, but as a fan of zany horror I found it entertaining.
Critters Attack! (2019)
Critters fun, Humans boring
I found the Critter puppets, their goofy charm and the general effects in this movie to be of a similar standard to those in the rest of the franchise, and found most moments featuring the Critters to be quite entertaining. They had a decent amount of on-screen time and although they did a lot of attacking and the level of carnage was quite acceptable, the goofy dumb antics weren't as plentiful as they were in the previous films, but still present enough for a few laughs.
Unfortunately most of the scenes dealing with the main protagonists and their back stories were quite dull and at times, the dialogue and performances were boring and at moments even cringe worthy. There is replay value here in watching the Critters do their thing, but when I watch this again as part of a franchise binge I shall fast forward the parts with the boring humans where it feels like watching a highschool play.
Child's Play (2019)
Entertaining slasher horror
This story could not have been told within the continuing original franchise, but it is a new take on the original idea that actually deserves to be told unlike a lot of other modern reboots/remakes of other franchises that seem to be merely a cash-in. In terms of the story there is a lot of difference to the other Childs Play/Chucky movies and this a refreshing treat.
The doll design, which at first glance seems like an abomination (aesthetically speaking) actually works well and although there is some weirdness with it, it pulls off being both amusing and creepy when it should be. There are some moments where the effects are a little odd, especially with CGI, but it didn't ruin the movie for me.
This is a solid horror film with great kills, a decent plot and it's highly entertaining.
Exists (2014)
Decent bigfoot movie
We get to see quite a bit of the creature in this movie, and unlike most Bigfoot films where the monster is clearly a man in a cheap rental costume, the sasquatch appears, for the most part, convincing, huge, menacing and capable of great physical force and damage, which is quite an achievement considering the 'found footage' handheld filming format they used. The tension slowly amps up into total chaos, giving us a good man versus monster clash. Quite entertaining if you are looking for a spooky cabin in the woods creature feature.
Bosch (2014)
Great detective show
Review based on seasons 1-5.
The show moves slowly, but as it moves a brilliant web of intrigue unfolds and draws you in. Each season is packed with a bunch of ongoing investigations and information is thrown at you from all angles. Thankfully the slow pace gives you enough time to slip into the detective mindset yourself and piece it all togethe, just like a decent mystery should. By the time all the threads come together you are fully invested and each season usually packs a bit of a punch towards the end becoming a bit of a thriller, so it's thoroughly entertaining. Really well written and performed. Highly recommend for crime genre lovers
The War of the Worlds (2019)
Failed adaptation
Started off well as an alien invasion story, but soon turned into a gloomy depressing cringeworthy drama that suffocated any exciting moments with bleak foreshadowing. Complete waste of 3 hours.