Change Your Image
damienmassart
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Wolf Pack (2023)
One of the worst series of 2023
The first episode of a series is supposed to lay the groundwork for the plot, define the main characters and create a sense of expectation in the viewer.
This first episode does just the opposite. The characters are thrown into the story like ingredients in a bad recipe; there's no script, no clear narrative line, just a succession of inane situations worthy of the worst Z series.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you: this is a werewolf story. No spoilers, rest assured: all is revealed in less than thirty minutes. It's as if the first episode wanted to reveal all the cards right from the start, abandoning any idea of building a story episode after episode, exactly what a series is supposed to do, isn't it ?
To make matters worse, the actors are terrible. The CGI are frighteningly ugly. In short, absolutely everything that could go wrong does, but in an absolute way that borders either on an abysmal form of misguided genius, or a very basic lack of talent at every level: actors, script, direction.
There are plenty of ways to take the viewer for a fool, but this series takes the shortest route: lining up all the clichés of the genre in the shortest possible time.
Oh yes, there's Sarah Michelle Gellar at the end. Is that reason enough to inflict this first episode on yourself? No. A thousand times no.
Let's watch Buffy again and let this sad production languish in its mediocrity.
I really hope there won't be a season 2 !
The Pope's Exorcist (2023)
Dungeons and Demons
Ok Russell Crowe is a good Father Amorth.
But it takes much more than a good actor to make a good film. For example, you can start by writing a good script. Or at least an embryonic script. And you know what ? There is not the slightest hint of an interesting story in this movie. Everything we see has been seen a thousand times before : cavernous voices, demonic growls, revolting eyes, swollen faces, disarticulated bodies, self-mutilation, scarification, etc. It's as if the film was trying to line up all the clichés to better mask the absolute emptiness of its own script.
At first, it's (a little) fun to find this or that reference, this or that wink. But it soon becomes clear that, apart from this accumulation of borrowings, the movie has no substance of its own, no scenic skeleton. It's a huge balloon inflated with everything that's gone before in the genre.
Russell Crowe can shout prayers in the devil's face, brandish medals and crucifixes, and even (oh how original!) draw the devil into himself in an attempt to vanquish it by sacrificing himself, it all sounds horribly wrong. Or rather, it sounds like a bad cover of a well-known song by an amateur band.
Because, in the end, that's what The Pope 's Exorcist is: a bad copy, a failed imitation, a crude fake.
In short, I didn't like this film at all. There's so much good stuff out there, original movies with well-crafted scripts that dare to innovate and think outside the box, that watching this kind of movie seems to me to be an enormous waste of time.
Nope (2022)
Oh nope
I won't waste my time writing a long review. Nope is the kind of movie you won't remember in a few weeks. The plot is weak, the acting is terrible, and the « creature » from outer space is a giant kite. It's laughable most of time. Ed Wood would have made a better movie.
I am very disappointed because Jordan Peele´s Get out and Us were pretty good movies, well written and well directed. They were also political movies with an interesting reflexion about racial archetypes. Nope is nothing like that: just a lame movie trying to be smart but, eventually, beeing totaly ridiculous.
I don't understand how people can be so enthousiastic about this movie.
In the Earth (2021)
Earth is speaking... and it's just boring !
I am a great fan of B-movies and independant horror movies, they are often so creative ! But In The Earth is so pointless, so empty that there is absolutely nothing to save in it. The story is weak, the acting and the filming are terrible. It's a terrible ordeal to try to watch this movie until the end. So, if you are patient or curious you can try it, if not don't waste your time watching this terribly bad movie, there is so many hidden gems to discover !
La nuée (2020)
Nothing to save
Don't waste your time watching this movie. It's 100% boring, the acting is awfull and there is not a single trace of a story. This is not even a fantastic movie, just a kind of pseudo psychological drama, pretentious and vain. There is nothing to save.
Lone Survivor (2013)
A propaganda movie for dumb target audience
I was expecting a really good war movie, principally due to the IMDB rating. Instead I discovered a propaganda movie to the glory of the SEALS members and US army.
The plot, « based on a true story », is as binary as possible : four good american soldiers from the SEALS face dozens of hateful muslims during undercover operation called Red Wings.
During two long hours they are injuried by bullets, schrapnells, and even rockets, they fall twice over precipices and crash hardly into rocks, but as they are SEALS they are of course unbreakable, so they survive against all odds and keep fighting and killing a lot of muslims with ugly faces and long beards...
Is it a caricature ? No, it is a just a very self-sufficient movie with an overdose of all the ingredients of a good war movie. There is too much heroism, too much courage, too much sense of sacrifice, too much tears and blood, and ultimately not enough real emotion.
The Devil's Candy (2015)
A total waste of time
There is something very curious about this movie : how can it be so high rated while also beeing so bad ? I really can't understand that. Alright, anyway you just have to watch it and you will see how terrible it is : bad acting, bad story, bad filming, plus atrocious music that will make you cringe... or turn off the sound !
With the best will in the world, there is nothing to save in this movie. Sometimes bad horror movies can be fun, unfortunately this one takes itself seriously. The only positive point is that it lasts only 79 minutes, even if it seemed to me twice as long.
Marianne: C'est coutume! (2019)
De pire en pire
Le premier épisode atteignait déjà des sommets de médiocrité, il semblait donc difficile de faire pire dans le deuxième. C'est pourtant le cas !
L'histoire, inepte, continue en roue libre : une succession de scènes horrifiques complètement décousues qui témoignent d'une absence totale de maîtrise narrative. C'est mal fichu, tordu, bancal, et les acteurs s'agitent comme des marionnettes sans ficelles dans les profondeurs glauques de ce non-scénario. Pathétique.
Ce qu'il y a de vraiment terrible dans cette série, c'est qu'elle essaie d'imiter les grands classiques du cinéma d'épouvante sans jamais parvenir à être autre chose qu'un copié-collé anémique et maladroit. Marianne, c'est Shining greffé à Plus belle la vie, The Haunting Of Hill House rétrécie aux dimensions d'une maison hantée de fête foraine, L'Exorciste version téléfilm du terroir sur France 3.
Quant à l'héroïne, elle est tellement imbuvable qu'on n'éprouve aucune empathie pour elle. Pire, on aurait presque envie de la voir trépasser rapidement, histoire de s'épargner les 6 épisodes qui restent.
Marianne: Tu les rêves (2019)
Prétentieux et complètement raté !
Personnage principal insupportable, intrigue bidon, psychologie de comptoir, : une fois de plus la « French touch » qui plombe la plupart des séries hexagonales a encore frappé.
Malheureusement pour ceux qui attendaient beaucoup de Marianne, cet l'épisode inaugural n'est qu'un ramassis de poncifs tous plus éculés les uns que les autres. La réalisation rend l'ensemble encore plus indigeste.
Mention spéciale à la scène du curé intégriste vomissant ses anathèmes sur l'héroïne : grotesque !
Desolate (2018)
A good surprise !
First, I was thinking to a cheap, low-budget, Mad Max-like movie, but I soon discovered that Desolated had its own singularity : that of a futuristic western with epic accents.
The plot is good, the acting is excellent, and the stagîng is sumptuous. Some scenes look like Edward Hopper or Andy Wyeth paintings, and it sometimes reminded me of Days of Heaven or The Reflecting Skin, in the way of filmîg lands capes. In a time of movies formatted on the same model, it was a really good surprise to discover a film like this one, original, intense and dramatic. Watch it, you won't waste your time.
Stranger Things: Chapter Three: The Case of the Missing Lifeguard (2019)
The show finally takes off
The first two episodes were dull and boring, let's forget them. On the contrary this episode is great, with a good balance between comedy, funny moments and scary scenes. The show is finally taking the good way.
Lodge 49 (2018)
A very good surprise !
Well written, well filmed, well acted : this show is just amazing ! Reminded me The Big Lebowski for its characters and its atmosphere, between laughter and irony, lightness and gravity. Don't hesitate : enter The Lodge !
Stranger Things: Chapter Two: The Mall Rats (2019)
Is it Stranger Things or Alf ?!?
As I said, this episode reminded me of an old episode of Alf, except that it was a lot less funny.
Stranger Things : game over.
Stranger Things: Chapter One: Suzie, Do You Copy? (2019)
The beginning of the end
I am going to make it short : if the rest of the show looks like this episode, Stranger Things is definitively over. There is nothing to save in this long and boring « pilote » : the plot is weak, the « comedy tune » doesn't work at all, and even the young actors are bad. Clearly, Stranger Things has lost its spark. It's hard to say it because we loved so much this show, but since Season 2 it has begun an inexorable descent into hell. I hope that the following will make me lie.
Swamp Thing: He Speaks (2019)
Just boring
The first episode was amazing, but the more Swamp Thing is going on, the more the plot is vanishing in secondary intrigues already seen a thousand times elsewhere. Actualy, it isn't surprising that the show has been canceled, seeing the wrong turn it was taking so early.
We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018)
Slow and boring
Spare your time, don't watch this movie. Instead, read Shirley Jackson's novel which is very very good !
The OA: SYZYGY (2019)
Best episode ever
Mesmerizing as a David Lynch movie. The plot is great, the actors are fantastic. Episode after episode The OA becomes more and more fascinating.
Aterrados (2017)
Fear at its best !
A very - and scary - good surprise !
The first half is amazing, with a lot of scary scenes that create a climate of very dense fear. OMG, if you are scared by things lying under the bed or monsters hiding in wardrobes, you may be traumatized !
I am more circumspect about the second half of the movie . We return to more common supernatural inquiry, and the plot fades a little.
There are still some very good sequences punctuated by good jump scares that keep us alert until the end.
This is one of the scariest movies I've watched this year and I easily give him the rating of 7.
Project Blue Book: War Games (2019)
Could have been worse, should have been better
At this point Project Blue Book is a bit disappointing. OK, The staging of each episode is quite good, the actors are fine, but there is something wrong with the scenario. Project Blue Book is trying to construct a labyrinthine plot with stories entangled in each other as russian dolls, but eventually all that boils down to this good old theory of conspiracy, with shadow government, secret military projects and men in black... I was expecting more investigations about real UFO cases, instead the series goes astray in dead-end directions. Where are the real cases Haynek investigated on ?!?
The Isle (2018)
Very bad trip to this Isle
No plot, no suspens, bad acting, bad scenery. I can't figure how this movie can be compared to The Witch or The Wicker Man. These are authors movies, although The Isle is nothing but a boring and totaly empty production. Useless and forgettable.
Enter Nowhere (2011)
Small budget, but great story
A small independant movie with poor means, but it's quite well filmed, the plot is amazing, and the actors are fantastic. A very good surprise.
The Mummy (1999)
Looks like a two hours demo of Tomb Raider mixed with Prince of Persiah
I don't understand all those good reviews. The Mummy is nothing but a poor Indiana Jones-like movie with bad story, poor acting, and awful videogame aesthetic. There is nothing in this movie that has not alteady been seen. Re-watch old adventure movies as Jason and the Argonauts, Simbad, or The Thieve of Bagdad if you want great entertainment and fantasy, but please avoid this kind of rotten adventure movie.
Apostle (2018)
A B-movie with Netflix's means
Sure, Apostle could have been a great movie : an interesting plot, good actors, and a great director. Unfortunarely, good ingredients do not always make a good recipe, and in this case the result is anything but good.
The scenario is diluted in a staging certainly elegant and stylish, but sorely lacking rhythm. It's long, way too long, even when you like, as I do, movies that favor atmosphere to action. And when finally the narrative mechanics accelerates, the movie becomes incoherent, even grotesque. So, Apostle tries to become horrific but the film fails once again to reach its goal despite a plethora of so-called terrifying scenes. By the way, I'm surprised that some users compare this film to a masterpiece like The Wicker Man. Let's say it frankly: Apostle has nothing to do with Robin Hatdy's classic. No, it's just a poor B-movie spiked by Netflix's financial means.
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
Not bad but not stunning
A comic-like movie. If you love old Creepy or Eerie magazines stories, so you will enjoy this movie. Otherwise you'll find the plot much too simple to be really horrific. More funny than scarry.
Halloween (2007)
Better than the original !
Clever, dark, violent. The best Halloween I've watched.