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ctfury23
Reviews
The Amityville Horror (2005)
6 of the biggest clichés ever
1) child sees a ghost child and the ghost child has her draw crazy pictures and do bad things. (hide and seek, the ring-II, sixth sense)
2) at the exact same time every night something scary happens (hide and seek, white noise)
3) (the worst cliché ever) house is built on an Indian burial ground (f**** poltergeist!)
4) first ten minutes into the movie woman exclaims how the previous family killed their dog because they thought it was evil and an hour and a half later when the dog goes missing you have no idea it might have been killed. (sarcasm (every terrible horror movie ever made)
5) Flies attacking a priest who tries to exercise the house (this is no lie...it is the same actor who played the priest in exorcist) same fly scene as well.
6) every three minutes they throw in a "jump" scene to make up for the absence of terror in this movie (again every poorly constructed horror movie)
the last complaint, well last id like to discuss, the film takes place in 1975, but i think the director forgot this half way through the movie and threw in 90's memorabilia. Toys, appliances, the slang used, even cars in some scenes are not even close to being historically accurate.
The Ring Two (2005)
Does Not Hold a Candle to the First
I thought the first Ring movie was excellent, so I was really looking forward to the sequel. Here is a short list why this movie failed to hold a candle to the first: 1) The original Ring movie consists of well-thought out mystery "Rachel" attempts to unravel throughout the course of the movie. The writers of Ring II try to do the same thing, but nothing is ever discovered. She tries to find answers from the girls real mother and you keep thinking she is going to discover something, but nothing ever happens.
2) The scare element in this movie is all physical and not at all genuine as in the first. Nothing compares to the scene where the little girl crawls out of the television at the conclusion of the first ring. All the scares in this movie are "jump" scenes.
3) The only thing bigger and better in this movie are the special effects, but they are just that...effects, attempting to mask the poor script of this movie.
4) Most importantly the whole concept of this movie "the little girl wants to be the boy" goes against all the "rules" made in the first one. The whole time I'm watching it I'm thinking this is just like when Oliver was added on the Brady Bunch. Thats a pretty far fetched analogy, but if you've seen the movie you get it....they writers were just reaching. Too much time was put into special effects and too little was put into the plot. The Ring II is just a ploy to con Ring I fans out of their money...it worked on me. Way too Hollywood.
Final Thought--- I do not care if you do not agree with this review....when you hit the disagree button all you are telling me is this.... A) you enjoyed meet the fockers. B) You probably did not ever receive a formal education
Meet the Fockers (2004)
How many times can they make a focker joke in this sequel
This movie in no way did the first justice. When the writers sat down I think the only thing discussed was how many times they could throw the word focker in the movie. Gregs last name was a humorous topic in Meet the Parents, but it really falls flat in the sequel. Every two minutes they try to spin off a joke about focker or gaylord and it seriously got old in the first two minutes of the sequel. As for the rest of the movie it was incredibly unbelievable. The reason Meet the Parents was so successful is because the audience can relate to Gregs situation meeting the parents and the unfortunate situations that come about. If you plan on seeing this movie I really hope you still go to stitches every time you here the word focker and do not mind a mediocre sequel with cheap laughs. The only time I laughed during this movie is when some guy fell down the steps and spilled his popcorn.
And before I forget....If you cast a vote for this movie or any other please be realistic. Over 50% of the people who have casted a vote for this movie have given it a ten. How ignorant can you be. If you really think this movie is a classic I wonder how tough it was to grow up with an underdeveloped brain and would love to meet with you and discuss the brilliance that went into this movie. If you like the movie great, but don't skew the results so people actually think this is a classic. Save the 10 ratings for the Godfather, Shawshank redemption, braveheart, anything that didn't take a half an hour to write.