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Hit Man (2023)
6/10
Hit Man Misses the Target
9 June 2024
Richard Linklater's career has been marked by his ability to create innovative and powerful stories from banal beginnings. 'Hit Man' somehow achieves the opposite - it's a fluffy confection inspired by the real-life exploits of a psychology professor who masquerades as a hit man in order to entrap would-be murderers.

The film's introductory sequences show Gary Johnson duping several potential killers that he's a professional in the liquidation business. These encounters are recorded by the police, and after the conspirators clearly state their intent and hand over a down-payment, they are arrested. Linklater's narrative departs from reality when Gary meets a beautiful Latina who wants her abusive husband terminated. To the confusion of his handlers, the fake assassin refuses her payment, proposes she initiate divorce proceedings instead of homicide, and starts dating her while maintaining his pretense as a hit man. Needless to say, complications ensue.

'Hit Man' could have followed in the footsteps of modern classics like 'Body Heat', but Linklater chooses to play it for light comedy rather than drama. Tension is lost as the proceedings become increasingly frivolous and unlikely. The acting performances and amusing screenplay just about hold one's interest, but the end-result feels like an appetizer that could have been a memorable main course.
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Atlas (2024)
1/10
Not Even Worth a Shrug
31 May 2024
There's nothing to recommend about 'Atlas'. The trailer promises the glimmer of an idea, but once the film starts, every worthwhile possibility in this saga of human-AI conflict sinks to the level of a juvenile comic book. Story, dialog, acting, direction, action sequences and sci-fi background are all inept to the point of embarrassment. The CGI is better than average, but it's undermined by the shortcomings of every other element. Nothing is at stake because neither story nor characters have any credibility in a world where a journey of 2.5 million light years appears to take as long as a transatlantic flight .

Early on, the viewer is informed Jennifer Lopez' character Atlas is a rebellious super-smart AI programmer, and mankind's best hope to outwit the villainous AI mastermind. It's swiftly revealed she's just a middle-aged hot mess wearing too much make-up and skin-tight outfits. In the past, Lopez has shown acting ability, but there's none of that on display here. As a producer she should have known better than to cast herself in such sad and boring drivel.
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Dark Waters (2019)
7/10
Dark Business
31 May 2024
Based-on-true-story films about corporate malfeasance follow a fairly well-trodden path seen previously in 'A Civil Action', 'Erin Brockovitch' and others. In this particular instance, the tale told in 'Dark Waters' has relevance to almost everybody on the planet. The narrative begins with a crusty West Virginia farmer losing his cows and livelihood to suspected pollution close by a Dupont chemical plant. Stymied by executives at the mammoth corporation, a compromised EPA and local lawyers, he takes his evidence to a big city corporate attorney. Lawyer Rob Bilott takes on the case despite his firm's disapproval, and as the years pass the local contamination widens into a horrendous global disaster.

Dupont attempt the usual legal shenanigans to avoid the consequences of poisoning humanity, but Bilott is persistent. The excellent cast is led by Mark Ruffalo, Anne Hathaway and Tim Robbins so there can be no complaints about the quality of acting. If only corporate greed and amorality were not quite such a routine story.
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The Holdovers (2023)
3/10
Much Ado about Not Much
4 February 2024
'The Holdovers' is a film for those who like formulaic stories with generic characters. In this case three misfits are closeted at an exclusive boys' school over a Xmas vacation in the 1970s, and somehow they must reconcile with their dysfunctions, discontent, disappointments and each other during that period. They comprise an unpopular veteran teacher, a troubled student and the school's cook. Paul Giamatti's teacher is essentially a repeat performance of his character Miles from director Payne's 2004 film 'Sideways' - and problem student Angus has been seen many times previously. The film might have possessed more originality if it had focused on Mary the cook, who is grieving over the loss of her son, recently killed in the Vietnam war.

Nothing noteworthy occurs during the proceedings - with little by way of drama or comedy and several scenes meandering off into irrelevance. At the film's conclusion the resolution of these characters' issues seems artificial, predictable and unsatisfying. The acting is above average, but it's mystifying that so many are enthused over this stale cupcake.
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7/10
Let The Golden Girls Do Improv
8 January 2024
'Let Them All Talk' liberates a fabulous trio of veteran female actors from the constraints of a script in this compact tale about three friends reunited on an ocean voyage. Filmed over eight days during Covid, the project is a delightful riff on relationship difficulties created by misunderstandings and ego. Unfortunately just as many music-lovers have no time for jazz, it seems numerous movie-goers dislike improvised dialog.

Alice is a successful US author headed to London to collect a literary prize. She cannot fly, so her new agent Karen wangles a complimentary Atlantic crossing aboard the Queen Mary for Alice, her nephew Tyler and old college pals Roberta and Susan. Tension is provided by Roberta's long-standing resentment that Alice had portrayed her negatively in an early novel, the discovery of a mega-successful thriller writer among the other passengers, and Karen's semi-secret presence onboard. Mild but flavorful intrigues follow, with the cast showing off their improv chops to fine effect. Candice Bergen steals the show, making Roberta simultaneously awful, sympathetic and believable, while the others provide structure and sub-plots. There's plenty to enjoy in their exchanges, but anybody who considers car chases and gunfights essential ingredients should avoid this film.
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Saltburn (2023)
3/10
Saltburn Revisited by the Kind-Hearted Mr Ripley
26 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
One has to assume 'Saltburn' was conceived as subversive satire or parody, but it's difficult to discern which it might be, since it possesses minimal sarcasm and humor. The copycat plot is derived from several sources - it initially follows the 'Brideshead Revisited' blueprint, relating how socially-challenged working class undergraduate Oliver Quick becomes friends with upper crust fellow collegian Felix at Oxford University. After a fairly shallow acquaintance, he's invited to spend the summer vacation with the latter's family at their stately home, Saltburn.

The invitation is a mystery since Oliver is devoid of wit or allure, and upon arrival he's treated with universal condescension. The aristocratic clan are portrayed as eccentrics who would fit more comfortably in a farce - and they seem especially out of place when the story gallops off towards the territory of 'Kind Hearts and Coronets' and 'Talented Mr Ripley'. Oliver suddenly transforms from awkward dork into master manipulator - and it's another mystery how he accomplishes this, since he has no means to influence anybody. The other characters lack credibility in a similar way - and since everyone is tiresome and unpleasant, it's hard to maintain interest as the shadows deepen. Despite attempts to shock with some gratuitously distasteful episodes - concluding with a muddy bout of virtual necrophilia - this protracted tale becomes tedious long before its end.
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4/10
Leave Your Brain Behind
9 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
A middle class couple leave NYC with their two teenage kids to stay in a luxurious Long Island beach house for a weekend getaway. Phone, TV and internet stop functioning shortly after their arrival, and when the family try to relax by the ocean a huge oil tanker inexplicably runs itself aground on the beach. Late that night the home's affluent African-American owner and his college-age daughter arrive seeking refuge from societal disintegration in Manhattan, and a prickly introduction follows before the ill-matched group falls asleep uneasily under the same roof.

Morning brings a truce, but no illumination about the nature of the crisis. The vacationers stay on as numerous disturbing incidents demonstrate all is not well with the world - airliners crash out of clear blue skies, wrecked cars block the highways, animals behave strangely, loud noises blare and the teenage son falls ill. Theories are proposed that the mayhem might be caused by hostile foreigners or native extremists, but nothing is certain, and the story never develops much of an arc.

The cast manages to keep the project afloat until all the bizarre happenings start undermining credulity. The various disasters have little rationality behind them, and the absence of other human beings within sight of the city seems implausible. Once belief has been lost, the movie shows how a suspenseful mystery about world-changing events can turn into a bit of a bore. As the film sputters out of existence, it feels like it might have been conceived as a pilot for a TV series. The deeply unsatisfying conclusion leaves the impression that the writers were as clueless as their characters about the catastrophe which they'd invented.
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Reptile (2023)
7/10
Cops and Realtors
30 September 2023
The opening scenes of 'Reptile' show real estate developer Will having some uneasy exchanges with his realtor girlfriend Summer. The following night he gets a message asking him to meet her at a vacant property, and arrives to find she has been murdered with extreme violence. The initial police investigation zeroes in on Will, but the case gets murkier when it's revealed Summer had a bitter ex-husband, while a former client holds a grudge against Will.

All this is just the introductory passage, after which homicide detective Tom Nichols sets to work and finds additional complications. With the plot unfolding at an unhurried pace, Nichols' nuanced relationship with his wife Judy is given unusual prominence for a neo-noir mystery movie. The rest of the excellent cast is well up to the task of portraying individuals being devious and antagonistic as Nichols ruffles the feathers of his suspects and colleagues. 'Reptile' is a thoroughly professional debut by a first time director which offers several modest innovations to the genre.
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Babylon (I) (2022)
1/10
Love, Lust and Loose Bowels in La La Land
20 July 2023
The opening scenes of 'Babylon' show an orgiastic party during Hollywood's period of excess just prior to the arrival of the 'talkies'. Amidst the debauchery, Mexican studio gofer Manny spots starlet Nellie and falls in love, and writer/director Chazelle uses their tepid romance as an intermittent thread running through this marathon movieland saga.

From the outset the film dispels any notion that old Hollywood was all glamor, with episodes depicting an incontinent elephant and Fatty Arbuckle receiving a golden shower, followed by a display of projectile vomiting from Nellie. The movie then busies itself portraying some real-life Hollywood scandals mingled with invented ones. The love affair fizzles like a damp squib just as it did in Cazelle's previous big success 'La La Land' - Margot Robbie wears out her welcome with over-acted tantrums and meltdowns, while Diego Calva as her suitor Manny is limited to expressions of unrequited longing. Providing some relief from the histrionics, Brad Pitt does contribute a nuanced turn as a silent star confronting his fading career, but everything else is immediately forgettable. After a procession of flashy set pieces, none of which accomplish much story or character development, the curtain mercifully falls after three long hours.
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3/10
A Glib Take on Sexual Assault
16 July 2023
Thirty-year-old underachieving med school dropout Cassie works in a coffee bar and lives with her parents. By night she moonlights as a vigilante by posing as an intoxicated party girl, allowing predatory males to pick her up and take her to their apartments. When they begin to molest her, she abandons her pretense of helplessness and reprimands the would-be ravishers for their poor behavior, which supposedly transforms them into emasculated drones.

Cassie's crusade is interrupted when Ryan, a fellow student from her time at med school, visits the coffee bar and asks for a date. A tepid romance blossoms, but complications ensue when it turns out Ryan is pals with Al who has a history of preying on inebriated women. This development provokes Cassie to resume her revenge mission, leading to a melodramatic conclusion that attempts to satisfy all tastes. Despite Carey Mulligan's decent performance, it's difficult to take Cassie's story seriously. Very little of this film passes a credulity test - it's also peppered with artifice, and filmed in a Barbieland color palette amid baroque suburban interiors. Sexual assault is a serious matter but writer/director Fennell gives it a flippant satirical treatment. Ultimately the film isn't half as clever as it imagines itself.
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4/10
Down the Rabbit Hole
3 July 2023
'Run Rabbit Run' begins with single mother Sarah stonewalling her seven year old daughter Mia, when the girl claims she's the reincarnation of a deceased person. Mia then demands to meet her grandmother, who is estranged from Sarah and resides in an institution suffering from dementia. Sarah reluctantly drives her to the rest home, and during this visit the grandmother mistakes Mia for Sarah's sister Alice, who went missing during childhood. After this unsettling encounter, Mia insists she be addressed as Alice, and the plot starts dishing up a steady diet of gloom and discord.

There are good reasons for the oppressive atmosphere, but the film forgets to make either of the two principal characters sympathetic. Sarah is portrayed as frazzled and frumpy, while Mia appears difficult and resentful - and as a result most viewers will find it hard to care when the big reveal arrives. The core idea is powerful and disturbing, but the writing and direction fail to deliver the project's full potential whether one interprets it as a psychological mystery, ghost story or horror film.
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3/10
Rock by the Numbers
4 March 2023
Anybody hoping this series will offer an edgy take on the 70s rock scene is likely to feel premonitions of disappointment within the opening fifteen minutes. This introductory passage shows two brothers kick-starting a garage band in blue collar Pittsburgh, while a middle class LA teen called Daisy goes through the required growing pains to become a singer-songwriter. Using live action flashbacks combined with documentary-style interviews, the project promises to reveal how various members of a rock group are fated to meet, merge, become megastars and break up.

As the story gets underway, it focuses on Daisy and the band's mercurial frontman Billy, but their issues are given only superficial treatment. The two leads don't have much to do beyond illustrating the typical misbehavior and insecurities of egotistical rock stars, while the other band members provide fodder for trivial sub-plots. The lives of these imaginary musicians turn out to be as hollow as the songs created for them. There's minimal character development as the narrative unfolds over the first six episodes, and it remains a bit of mystery why fans or record labels would have considered them destined for stardom. After seeing Riley Keough create intense nuanced characters from minimalist material, it's particularly frustrating watching Daisy constrained by the straitjacket of uninspired writing and direction.
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Sicario (2015)
1/10
A Thriller for Crackheads
8 February 2023
'Sicario' boasts superior production values and an impressive cast, but the mindless screenplay could have been written by Skinny Pete and Badger, the wasted drug dealers from 'Breaking Bad'. The plot trudges from one tired cliche to the next as two cynical CIA officers manipulate a naive female FBI agent in order to entrap the head honcho of a Mexican cartel.

The film's action sequences are set up by the dopey decisions of supposedly elite crime-fighters and criminal masterminds. The most half-witted of these assumes helicopters don't exist as a conspicuous CIA convoy of black SUVs enters Mexico to collect a cartel member from prison, and returns through a gridlocked border crossing. In the interludes between scenes of violence and CIA torture, the actors deliver one-dimensional performances as they agonize over such necessities. This fable of felons on both sides of the law possesses neither credibility nor tension because the characters are all stereotypes. It eventually arrives at a climax enabled by the unlikely event of a cartel big-shot traveling without minders. Whoever conceived and produced this formulaic drivel has a fine understanding of action-thriller movie fans, and how easily they're satisfied with the cinematic equivalent of junk food.
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London Fields (2018)
1/10
London Wasteland
14 January 2022
'London Fields' begins with two fiction writers embarking on an apartment swap. Struggling scribbler Samson Young vacates his squalid Hell's Kitchen den to stay at the opulent Notting Hill residence of successful Mark Asprey, who departs for New York City. The duo's names give the game away - the swap signifies a personality split rather than any geographical re-location. The symbolism of Young's moniker and his home base are fairly obvious while Asprey's initials echo those of London Fields' novelist Martin Amis.

The film follows Young as he slots seamlessly into Asprey's social milieu. He focuses on documenting the anticipated murder of his upstairs neighbor, a movie star called Nicki Six, who has predicted her own death at the hands of an unknown killer. The prime suspects for this future homicide are a darts player and a city wheeler-dealer - soon to be joined by Young himself. Nicki has affairs with all three, goading them to kill her through jealousy, so that her prediction will prove correct.

This extravagant plot might be manufactured by Asprey's fevered imagination, but unfortunately the film itself also looks like the product of a mind in disarray. The movie shows the potential dangers of getting a music video director to film the adaptation of a fairly sophisticated narrative - the end-product might be be garish visuals at the expense of characters' personalities and their environment. Compounding the catastrophe, the actors deliver theatrical performances which destroy any chance of taking the proceedings seriously. By the time the climax arrives with its predictable twist, it's hard to believe anybody still cares about the fate of these cornball caricatures.
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6/10
Losing the Plot
12 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Fine acting keeps 'The Lost Daughter' afloat, but the screenplay, direction and editing are so invested in keeping the story mysterious that it's almost impossible to decipher what's going on while watching it. A series of red herrings and opaque scenes are carefully constructed to maintain an enigmatic facade - resulting in a narrative that appears inconsequential.

The story begins with middle-aged professor Leda arriving at a Greek resort for a solitary working vacation. She appears brusque and disconnected from other people, and telephone calls indicate she's somewhat estranged from her two absent daughters. While taking breaks from her research, she observes an extended American family at the beach. Flashbacks of Leda's life as a young mother in England flesh out her earlier life. She's depicted going through stressful times combining career with parental duties. At a conference, she starts an affair with an American academic, and subsequently leaves her husband and children.

Back in Greece, a young girl belonging to the American family wanders off, and Leda helps them search for her. During this incident, a flashback shows Leda had also experienced one of her own daughters going missing at a beach. Leda finds the lost girl and reunites her with the family - but impulsively steals the child's favorite doll in the confusion. The rescue leads to a connection with the child's mother Nina, who is having similar motherhood struggles to Leda's in the past, and is also having an affair behind her husband's back. Complications from this affair and Leda's confession about her theft of the doll bring about an altercation, and Nina stabs Leda in the stomach with a hat pin just prior to Leda's departure from the resort. As she drives away, Leda begins losing consciousness in her car and collapses on a roadside beach, with the final scene suggesting she has passed away at the water's edge. Piecing together the puzzle, it seems clear Leda's extra-marital affair had angered her daughters, and that one of them had drowned while in her custody - and her own dead child is the "lost daughter" of the film's title.
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The Nightingale (I) (2018)
1/10
A Raven's Croak
11 January 2022
Viewers who enjoy cinematic violence will find a feast of rape and murder served up for their entertainment in Jennifer Kent's 'The Nightingale'. After an opening which establishes the depravity of the principal villain and his two cowardly henchmen, Aisling Franciosi's wronged heroine Clare embarks on a dogged quest for revenge through the damp forest wilderness of 1800s Tasmania.

Life was doubtless brutal on this colonial frontier, but the unrelenting coarseness of every character stretches credulity and results in bad drama. Despite numerous bloodthirsty episodes scattered throughout the proceedings, the plot tramps onward with the vitality of a death march. The actors are constantly fighting a losing battle against the one-note script and direction - and even Clare loses sympathy due to vile racist behavior towards her aboriginal guide Billy. As the nastiness drags on, the story becomes a miserable farce long before its predictable conclusion.
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5/10
Violation of a Bookish Girl
31 October 2021
'The Girl in the Book' tackles the difficult subject of emotional abuse and possible statutory rape with subtlety, but falls short in dramatic expression. The main character is a blocked wannabe writer Alice, who works in a publisher's office for an arrogant condescending boss. Her father is a writers' agent, perhaps even more arrogant and condescending towards females in general, and his daughter in particular. As a remedy for her damaged self esteem, Alice habitually visits bars to hook up with random dudes for one-night stands.

Alice's toxic stew boils over when her boss commissions her to organize a PR event for the new edition of a best-selling novel by one of her father's clients. This author is called Milan, and it soon transpires he had taken an unsavory interest in Alice some 15 years previously while pretending to mentor her. The flashback scenes between the teenage Alice and Milan might have some ambiguity on the surface, but their excruciating awkwardness only amplifies the lurking lechery.

Despite a decent performance by Emily VanCamp as Alice, she's handicapped by a one-note screenplay which portrays her character as too depressed and defeated - and when she is finally roused to confront her issues, the script's solutions are glib and unconvincing. After an intriguing first hour, the film falls apart in the last act.
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The Goldfinch (2019)
8/10
This Goldfinch Soars like an Eagle
31 October 2021
The film adaptation of Donna Tartt's novel 'The Goldfinch' disappointed the critics and was a flop at the box office. It isn't hard to see why - Tartt wisely told her tale chronologically, since it had multiple characters moving through a complex Dickensian narrative spanning more than a decade. The movie's screenwriter or editor made the poor choice to construct a fragmented timeline which disrupts the narrative flow, and will confuse those who haven't read the book.

The novel's opening passage relates how an adolescent boy and his mother visit an art museum on the day of a terrorist bombing. After the devastating explosion, the traumatized youngster has a fateful encounter with an injured victim in the ruined galleries. The dying man presses him to take a ring from his finger along with a famous small painting of a goldfinch lying in the debris - and this encounter has consequences which reverberate down through the following years. Capriciously the film chooses to break this pivotal scene into short sequences scattered throughout the duration. Despite the problems arising from this decision, the actors deliver performances which rescue the story from incoherence and create a work of beauty and intrigue for those familiar with Tartt's epic. That said - to do full justice to this remarkable novel with its labyrinthine plot and eccentric characters would probably require a TV series.
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The Voyeurs (2021)
1/10
Rear Window Peepshow
14 September 2021
There's nothing wrong with the ambition to update a classic thriller like Hitchcock's 'Rear Window', unless you make an embarrassing mess of the project. "The Voyeurs' makes its intentions clear from the get-go, as a young couple move into a new apartment and begin spying upon the amorous antics of neighbors across the street. So far, so good - but annoying traits in the acting and directing departments are a sign of things to come. The script never bothers to invest the peeping Toms, Pippa and Thomas, with any personality - and neither does it do so for any other character. It seems far more concerned with feeble puns on characters' names and the episodes of bland soft-core erotica taking place across the way.

Complications are added to the stew, but fail to give it any flavor, and everything starts falling apart as unlikely events are piled onto coincidences and absurd plot twists. Long before the end, credibility has been utterly lost as the story becomes a melodramatic farce with gigantic plot-holes, floundering about in cinematic limbo.
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The Dig (2021)
6/10
Digging for Depth
1 February 2021
Based on actual events with World War 2 looming on the horizon, there's much to admire in 'The Dig' - acting and cinematography in particular. The opening sequence tells how a widow commissions a local working class archeology enthusiast called Basil Brown to excavate several mysterious mounds on her property. Sadly, the film short-changes the achievements of this accomplished amateur, just as self-interested academics had done seventy years beforehand.

After some significant artifacts are unearthed, the narrative subsequently shows how a pompous bigwig from London's British Museum arrives to muscle Brown out of the project's driving seat. A collection of colorful characters engaged in various intrigues while making momentous discoveries should have provided more than enough dramatic interest. Unfortunately the screenwriters appeared unable to find sufficient substance in the archeological affairs to sustain a feature film - and invented a tepid romance to flesh out the proceedings. This minor sub-plot provides little more than distraction and the story loses its way. If the script had probed a little deeper into the core material, complemented by a background of the beautiful East Anglian scenery, an impending worldwide catastrophe and ancient mysteries, the result would have surely been far more memorable.
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1/10
A Catastrophic Apocalyptic Movie Disaster
29 December 2020
At the outset of 'The Midnight Sky', some kind of apocalyptic disaster has occurred on Earth. Gus, a morose, terminally-ill scientist is isolated at an Antarctic research station after all his colleagues have irrationally evacuated back to the planet's toxic zones. Soon after their departure, Gus finds a young girl who has been left behind. Despite this distraction, he continues trying to contact a spaceship returning from an exploratory expedition to a fictional moon of Jupiter. This moon has proved habitable for humans, and Gus needs to warn the crew not to land on Earth.

Aboard their spiffy, Star Trekky spaceship, the five astronauts behave like imbeciles in a reject episode of the TV series, as they try to make sense of Earth's radio silence and deal with some implausible mishaps in the asteroid belt. Meanwhile back in the Arctic, Gus and the lost girl battle the elements to reach a remote radio antenna. Unfortunately nothing in this film works, with story, characters, acting, direction, dialogue and scientific background all equally uninspired and unconvincing. The story's big plot twist is predictable, and the preposterous conclusion just adds to the embarrassment.
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7/10
Twilight Zone in Cuyaga
31 May 2020
'The Vast of Night' is an interesting low budget project which possesses style and atmosphere, but doesn't quite deliver its full potential. The opening sequence depicts a teenage switchboard operator and her radio DJ mentor strolling to their night-shift jobs in the small New Mexico town of Cuyaga. The citizenry are preparing for a high school basketball game, and this scenario allows the film-makers to demonstrate their flair and talent, even though this introductory passage is needlessly prolonged by inconsequential exchanges with random individuals. The story finally gets underway around the 25 minute mark when the switchboard operator hears eerie sounds over her equipment, receives a confused emergency call about a disturbing incident out on the highway, and seeks the DJ's advice. Having created an ominous atmosphere with nods at Roswell's UFO folklore and paranoia over government cover-ups, the pair follow clues to a momentous discovery.

The narrative arc has similarities to Spielberg's 'Close Encounters', while the mood owes more to 1950s Cold War era Sci-Fi movies and Rod Serling's Twilight Zone TV series. The film's chief weakness is an anti-climactic conclusion, but the vitality of the acting, direction and cinematography make up for this shortcoming, without ever pushing the project into the territory of unforgettable drama.
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Submergence (2017)
1/10
Submerged in the Shallows
8 April 2020
This feeble film is made up of three parts - a limp love affair, a soggy spy story and a brainless belly-flop into oceanography. The two lovers, James and Danielle, meet while staying at a Normandy clifftop hotel, exchange flirtatious banter, fall into bed, attempt some intellectual conversation and soon go their separate ways with aching hearts and promises to meet again.

Danielle sets off on a scientific mission to discover the source of life at the bottom of the ocean. James, now revealed to be a secret agent posing as a water engineer, departs on an undercover operation to root out jihadists in Somalia. The rest of the movie drowns in platitudes as the narrative cuts back and forth between the Atlantic and East Africa. On the expedition vessel Danielle babbles kindergarten science about life's origins, while James is immediately captured by the terrorists and forced to endure some half-hearted beatings and interrogation. As Danielle pluckily prepares to risk her life for marine biology, she confides her fears of getting marooned on the ocean floor. Meanwhile James impresses his slow-witted captors with some rudimentary knowledge of the Koran as he plots to outwit them. The rest of this drippy drivel writes itself - Wim Wenders' earlier films haven't aged well, but this one is a waterlogged shipwreck.
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1/10
Tedium on a Loop
3 April 2020
Amazon's TV series 'Tales from the Loop' is set in a rural 1970s Ohio where some experimental physics research is going on at an underground facility called The Loop. This has resulted in the surrounding countryside being littered with futuristic gizmos irresponsibly dumped by the scientists. The narratives derived from this scenario are old-fashioned Twilight Zone fables which seem to last much longer than their 60-minute running time. Instead of unsettling enigmas, the tales are schmaltzy, the characters dull, the pacing glacial, the dialog clunky and the directing ponderous with schoolkids as protagonists in several segments.

The project was inspired by Simon Stalenhag's striking landscape paintings of monstrous rusting robots looming over the suburbs, seashores, strip malls and wildernesses of a semi-dystopian America. The artist created eerie and threatening imagery portraying these mechanical behemoths wandering aimlessly on unknowable missions or else as broken down derelicts. Presumably due to budget limitations, the machines which feature so prominently in the paintings, are greatly diminished in size and make only fleeting appearances in the TV episodes. Although Stalenhag is credited as one of the writers, these stories are almost devoid of the mysterious element present in his artwork.
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Wonder Wheel (2017)
1/10
Woeful Reel
4 January 2020
'Wonder Wheel' resembles a hokey 1950s B-movie dredged from a dumpster behind the office of a backstreet film producer. The story tells how an ex-actress waitress cheats on her fairground carousel operator husband with a much younger Coney Island lifeguard. Their dismal affair has more desperation than delight, and it quickly spirals into a fiasco. The fallout eventually engulfs the woman's stepdaughter who is fleeing from a gangster spouse with his goons on her tail.

Woody Allen's screenplay has numerous references to Eugene O'Neill and Tennessee Williams, presumably as some kind of tribute, but this tawdry melodrama ends up looking like an insulting parody. The fine cast struggle mightily with his dire screenwriting, which delivers a procession of narrative cliches and histrionic exchanges between the characters. In the end, they can only present an over-acting showcase. After this catastrophe, Amazon must have been ecstatic to wriggle out of their multi-film contract with Allen, thanks to his imbecilic self-serving comments about the Weinstein scandal.
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