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Reviews
28 Days (2000)
Not a Realistic Portrayal of Alcoholism/Drug Addiction
This movie should have never been marketed as a comedy. I don't remember any jokes or funny scenes. Literally.
When Gwen (Sandra Bullock), checks into rehab - she would have went through at least 3-4 days of hardcore withdrawal (in the film, she vomits once and appears to have 1 or 2 panic attacks that only last a few minutes). True detox will have you on the toilet, getting sick from both ends, for days and days, no letting up. Some rehabs will medicate you to ease some of the symptoms, but you still go through it.
This movie simply did NOT show the real side of what happens to an alcoholic who suddenly stops drinking, or an addict who stops using. From that point on, I couldn't take the movie seriously.
Perhaps, if they HAD shown the true side of withdrawal, before jumping into the actual rehab, it would have been more of a cautionary tale.
The Mighty Quinn (1989)
Caucasian view of this African-American Mystery...
As the title of my review states, I am Caucasian and rarely watch African-American flicks (most are comedies these days, and I am more of a drama and suspense fan).
I am also not a huge fan of Denzel Washington - however, what I do love, is the country of Jamaica!! I have been visiting the island every year since I was 18, and was even married there. I now take my two young daughters there for summer vacations. So needless to say, I know quite a bit about the country and love immersing myself in their culture. The Jamaican people are so very different than the African American's that I know here in the US. With that said, the accents in this movie left something to be desired. (In fact, there were some "accents" that weren't even close to sounding Jamaican).
But alas, I still enjoyed this movie. I was surprised to see that it was made in 1989 - for the longest time, I thought it was newer, perhaps 1995 or 1996. The clothing and hair "styles" in Jamaica are very far behind the US, so perhaps that is why I didn't immediately guess the movie was as old as it was. It isn't uncommon to still see a lot of island residents wearing clothes from the 80's and 90's. The cars/trucks are always quite old, as are the buildings (minus the new resorts that pop up).
As many other reviewers have pointed out, the island feel in this movie is great. I am a huge fan of reggae - and although I dislike musicals, they blended the music with the scenes very nicely.
The obvious tropical backdrop, combined with the small beach shacks, the colorful residents and the busy little towns with dirt roads winding around the countryside is a great setting for a mystery. All in all, I feel that the main character of this movie is the island itself. Without the setting, this movie would not have worked whatsoever. This is a great movie to watch on a cold winter day - it's a bit of an escape, and always has me counting down the days until my next visit to Jamaica.
5/10
The Shortcut (2009)
Short on Storyline and Short on Thrills...
After starting this movie, I found myself constantly checking to see how far into the film I was.
At the 30 minute mark, the movie was still was not doing anything for me. Yes, they give you a little bit of background (a few minutes ), and the rest is spent attempting to shape some characters - but alas, nothing interesting. I actually started to nod off.
45 minutes in - they finally have one good scene. Then, it's back to the teeny-bopper, high school setting.
Not sure how they can classify this as "horror" or even suspense, with just a handful of tense scenes. I am not a fan of gore, and don't need blood to enjoy a movie - but I do like to be taken by surprise, or startled. A thrill or two is great. You simply won't find anything here.
Buried Alive (2007)
One word: LOUSY
Wow. Before I watched this movie, I read the reviews here on IMDb. Since I tend to like cheesy "B" horror, I figured I would still give it a shot.
I really regret it! This movie is low-budget, which in and of itself is not bad - however, combined with the horrible acting, lousy special effects and the absence of any SOLID storyline, it simply does not work. The ending is beyond stupid, and it wraps up the movie as if it were a TV show that ran out of time. The characters are waaaay too cookie-cutter. You have the "nerd", the "dumb blonde", etc etc. Come on guys. Put a little more effort into developing the characters so that we, as the audience can get involved in this story and watch on the edge of our seats. Lousy, lousy, lousy.
I was VERY surprised that Tobin Bell signed on for this. I literally laughed out loud every time he appeared on camera. The cheap "jumps" were not scary whatsoever and failed to produce a "jump". Come on!
As far as the nudity, there was NOT that much. Typical teen horror. Some topless shots, but they were very quick or shot from far away. Close-ups of some female behinds (in panties), and a very long moaning scene with two people fulled dressed (he's rubbing her feet. Very PG-13). Friday the 13th's from the 1980's have better nudity...
The movie is BEYOND SLOW and feels like 180 minutes, rather than 90, because you just want it to end!!
Honestly, do not waste your time. If you are considering this movie, please pick something else. Otherwise, you'll be sitting here like me wondering why you wasted 90 minutes of your life. I would have rather cleaned my closet. Seriously.
The Party Never Stops: Diary of a Binge Drinker (2007)
Good TV Movie, But Not Realistic..
The movie title and the fact that this is a Lifetime movie, gives you the basics.
You know that this is a cheesy movie with a "made for TV" feel. However, if you enjoy those type of movies (like I do), you will most likely enjoy this flick as well.
As expected, there are a lot of unrealistic scenes. The first thing that jumped out at me, was how our main character is *startled* when SEEING a bottle of champagne. She literally jumps. I don't know who makes it to college without witnessing some underage drinking. Personally, I didn't drink until my 24th birthday, but I DID witness plenty of it in high school and college. Never SEEING people drink is very unrealistic.
Also, her Mother becomes suspicious when she calls her daughter at 2:30 in the afternoon and her daughter is taking a nap. I'm sorry, but is that really THAT crazy? Aren't college students allowed to nap? I remember taking many naps after cramming in the library (and being out late as well). I am a parent now, and I would not be scared if my daughter was napping while she was away at college. They really played that up.
Funny note: pay attention to the fraternity "Luau" party. The guy who asks her to dance - as he walks off to dance, he does the SILLIEST, most badly-staged dance I have ever seen. It literally made me laugh out loud, no joke! I think they also overdid the "binge" drinking. The timeline doesn't add up. I wouldn't call a college student getting drunk 3x's between September and January a "problem" drinker. I would call someone getting drunk nightly or weekly a "problem". But 3 times over the course of several months (esp. in college), is not that insane. Granted, they do show the drinking increasing as the school year progresses, but it still never shocked me.
Also, this entire movie is narrated by our main character - literally, the whole thing. It's very odd. It didn't bother me that much, but again, I think it would have been a little less cheesy without it.
They also have a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST WITH THEIR BIKINI TOPS ON UNDERNEATH THE WHITE T-SHIRTS!!!! They eventually take it off, but omg...funniest scene ever. At the beginning of the contest, the main character is sober and laughs at the girls who are doing the contest. At the end of the contest (apparently after a single drink) she is up on stage as well. So yea...apparently she went from stone-cold sober, to drunk and peeling her clothes off in a few minutes? Please.
Speaking of our main gal, she is painfully thin in this movie. She looks like she suffers from a possible eating disorder (another Lifetime movie perhaps..lol).
All in all, give this movie a shot if you like made-for-TV movies that are cheese ball. It is better than the last few LMN movies that I watched. I don't think males would like this one - it's definitely a chick movie, and definitely more of a comedy than drama.
6/10
Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life (2005)
It's not THAT bad...let's be fair!
First of all, I don't know what people were expecting when they sat down and turned on a Lifetime movie named, "Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life".
Were you looking for a blockbuster? The title tells you up front, that this will be an after-school-special type of flick. Add in the fact that it is shown on Lifetime Television For Women, and you know it's going to be anti-porn.
As a TV movie, it wasn't that bad. No worse than the rest of the movies they play on LMN. It kept me entertained, which was the point. Then again, I love Lifetime movies. Sometimes it's nice to just put your mind in neutral and enjoy a silly or cheesy movie on a lazy afternoon.
Go into it with that attitude and you'll probably enjoy it. If you want a thriller or an action flick, look elsewhere (obviously!). This was cute, cheesy, and not a horrible way to spend an hour and a half.
5/10
Carnal Innocence (2011)
If You Like a Southern Setting and Lifetime Movies....
Then this movie is for you.
There are A LOT of cheesy accents (I even heard one of the actors mistakenly do a BOSTON accent at one point!).
Despite these accent issues, if you like a Southern setting (think, 'The Skeleton Key', but with a Lifetime feel) - then you will probably dig this movie.
I would not consider this a suspense film, as there are no suspenseful moments whatsoever. It's a very PG "mystery". I would allow my daughter to watch it (she's 11).
They didn't make this movie to win any awards. It is what it is, and the makers of the movie know it. Lot of cute male eye candy too ;) Perfect for a lazy afternoon on the couch. Give it a shot.
5/10.
Survival Island (2002)
The WORST movie I have EVER seen.
I found this movie by mistake, while browsing at a used DVD store. I was looking for the movie, 'Survival Island' with Billy Zane and Kelly Brook. When I noticed that this film had Jaime Pressly in it (one of my faves), I bought it. I sure would like my $5 back. I cannot even BELIEVE that they allowed this garbage to be produced. The "monster" goes in between a man in a plastic suit, and a video-game "flash". Yes, you heard that right. It "flashes" to a screenshot of a video game monster, chasing them...
I could make a murder look more realistic. The "blood" is so orange/red/fake-looking.....DO NOT EVER, under any circumstances, buy or rent this film. You will regret it, and you will be back here where I am, writing about how horrid it is. And this is coming from a die-hard "B" movie fan! I usually dig the "B", "campy" films...but this isn't even in that category. It's not "so-bad-it's-good"...it's just SO BAD.
I am still confused as to why Ms. Pressly would agree to such a low-budget mess.