Reviews

An intriguing mystery gets dolled out piece by piece in Happy Birthday To Me which is one of the classier and more upscale slasher films of the early 80's. There's a professionalism and class to it even when people are being impaled with shishkabobs. Many of the plot twists don't hold up under a magnifying glass, but it's best to put on your party hat and have a good time instead of nitpicking.

If you ever wondered what a watered down, TV movie version of Martyrs would look like, this stale remake will quench that thirst. It follows many of the same plot beats, but does it in a much more antiseptic and predictable way without any rawness or sense of danger.

This new take on A Nightmare on Elm Street has some great ideas. For one, it toys with the idea that child murderer Freddy Krueger might have been wrongly accused by the parents of Elm Street and that certainly gives him even more reason to be a little peeved. Unfortunately, this is discarded along with every other potentially interesting plot thread and becomes a music video of sometimes stylish, but empty nightmare sequences. Rooney Mara plays the role inhabited by Heather Langenkamp in the original with absolutely no warmth or personality making it hard to root for her.

If you're able to get past the first 45 minutes of slash-free character building and world building (which does seem like an awfully long time for a film of this sort), you'll be treated to a buffet of some nasty gore effects and very inventive set pieces. The young actors are well above average for a film like this, even Paris Hilton who does a great job of selling her character's fear.

Disregarding some huge plot holes, messed up timelines, and cringe-worthy lines, Texas Chainsaw 3D does attempt to get some tension and scares out of the well worn premise. With so much skill on display, it's amazing that so many of these inconsistencies weren't addressed before shooting began, because they do stick out like a sore thumb.

In spite of a few pacing lags here and there, House of Whipcord is a taught shocker about what happens when certain people believe they're judge, jury, and executioner and they have the right to impose their own morals on everyone else. It's a relevant message even in today's political climate and House of Whipcord is as mean a horror film as you'll find. You're never sure who'll get out alive.

Not many of the characters over at this summer camp are likable and the male lead is basically a pervy peeping tom, but maybe that was the point. After all, the vicious Cropsy might have been a jerk before his accident, but I doubt he deserved what he got. The Tom Savini gore effects one up his work in Dawn of the Dead and Friday the 13th and are incredibly impressive if you see them in their full uncut glory.

If you're into moody, black and white witchcraft/cult movies, it'll be hard to find a film that scratches that itch as well as The City of the Dead. It even features Christopher Lee attempting a not-bad American accent and lots and lots of fog. It's not all cozy, however. There's one plot twist that really surprised me.

The Mutilator isn't bringing much new to the plate. In fact, it follows the slasher film template to a T, but unlike many of its contemporaries where most of the slashing was done by the MPAA, The Mutilator was allowed to release an unrated version on VHS that showcased some of the most grisly death scenes the genre has ever created. There's not much more to recommend besides that, but gore fans will have a field day.

Despite the exploitation movie title, The Slumber Party Massacre has a lot more on its mind that your usual teenage girl slash fest. There's lots of comedy and satirical winks to the audience while still providing all the gore and nudity the slasher fans of the day demanded. It's a win-win for all.

Seen uncut, Pieces is one of the goriest movies ever made and also one of the silliest. It's very hard to take anything seriously with all the bad dubbing, lousy acting, and strange appearances by kung-fu professors and obvious red herring groundskeepers. It does have a welcome bit of style.

Inventive camera angles and gore are the two most memorable aspects of Intruder. It does a lot with its limited budget even if the acting is a mixed bag and there story only exists to showcase some gory effects. Cameos by Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell add to the fun.

The first A Quiet Place wasn't completely my cup of tea, but I suppose I liked it enough to go see the sequel. The opening is great and very intense and then it's mostly just people wandering around for the rest of the film with a few decent suspense sequences thrown in. Not a terrible day at the movies, but nothing you'll leave remembering or ever care to see again.

A smart and intense remake of Wes Craven's groundbreaking original until an inane ending threatens to spoil everything. In spite of that, there are great performances and a lot of suspense. As expected, it's far less gritty than the original, but manages to be disturbing in several different ways.

Jennifer is basically Carrie with snakes instead of telekinesis. That's about it, but it's still a fun movie. The teenagers are, in some ways, even more evil than the ones in Carrie and Jennifer's father is a bit more understanding and supportive than Carrie's deranged mother. It's a much brighter and more empowering film as a whole, so if you're interested in that, you should enjoy it.

Messiah of Evil is a hard film to recommend to something or to even describe. It's less a story and more an experience and a feeling that washes over you as you watch it. You won't remember the characters or the story beats, but it features more than a handful of images you won't be able to forget for as long as you live. Like the best of David Lynch, Messiah of Evil will leave you in a constant state of anxiety even when you're not sure why you're feeling so on edge.

There's really nothing else quite like Possessor and I say that as a great compliment. So many films are dragging out old cliches or just reboots of existing properties and this film really showed me something I'd never seen before. Highly recommend this one. As much as I want to talk about it, I'm too scared of spoiling it. Just see it for yourself.

As slashers go, at least Blood Rage tries to have a story and some interesting characters. Louise Lasser's unhinged turn as Maddy, a single mother who has one good twin and one psychotic twin, isn't something you see in most films of this sort. If quirky character actresses aren't your thing, Blood Rage does supply a good variety of bloody murders with some impressive special effects for such a low budget production. The story can droop and sag here and there, but by the first half hour, there's a death scene or two every 5 or 10 minutes, so it's hard to not be entertained.

Alice, Sweet Alice is a hard movie to forget. Dealing with religious repression, mental illness, and child murder might make it sound like a depressing chore to sit through but director, Alfred Sole, loads the film with so many memorable images and set pieces and keeps things both gritty and grounded, but elevated and a bit campy at the same time which throws the viewer out of whack. There are also some very surprising deaths and attack scenes that you don't see coming and that's always a plus in a film like this.

Dolls has a simple story that's well told and the film itself is well cast and well made with some truly stunning special effects, a spooky rainy mood, and enough gore to satisfy those who are interested in it. I saw this one all the time at the video store as a kid and was never brave enough to rent it. I'm glad I didn't, because it would have probably given me nightmares for months. I'll definitely be watching this one again.

Due to the time period it was released and the way it was sold, it's not surprising that April Fool's Day had a bit of mixed reception when it was first released. Those expecting a straightforward slasher flick will be incredibly upset, but if you go in without any expectations, you'll be charmed by the fantastic and charismatic cast and all the twists and turns.

Having not read the novel it originated from, I was able to go into My Sweet Audrina totally cold with no knowledge of the story except that it was billed as a creepy, gothic family drama much like V. C. Andrews' more popular Flowers in the Attic which I enjoyed.

Perhaps it was the Lifetime trope of speeding up the events of the story to squeeze in as much into 90 minutes as possible that caused this movie to fall flat to me or maybe it was the awkward acting by just about everyone in the film, but this one was a dud to me. As I was watching, I could tell the concept and story itself were interesting and strong, but the adaptation felt off. The filmmakers aren't allowed to let moments flow naturally and everyone's at the same emotional pitch throughout most of the movie. Things happen so fast and there's not enough time for the actors, characters, or audience to deal with some of the pretty insane things that happen throughout the movie.

Macabre kicks off with quite a bang and then spends the next 50 minutes slowly seething until it delivers an equally gonzo last act. With a plot as lurid as "grieving woman has sex with her ex-lover's severed head", there could have been a little more going on to spice things up. The performances are truly a sight to behold with Bernice Stegers (and whoever dubbed her) swinging from the rafters, bugging her eyes, and devouring the scenery with every chance she gets. I'm also a big fan of the southern gothic aesthetic that's also found in Fulci's The Beyond. New Orleans is such a great setting for a horror movie.

The Slayer has a lot to recommend, but it's a mood piece through and through and that's the best thing it has going for it. The script isn't the best thing ever put to celluloid, but the filmmakers drain every last drop of mood they can from every location and gives the film the uneasy feeling of a waking nightmare. Acting isn't fantastic either, but when you have an atmosphere this thick, it's easy to tune a lot of the less desirable parts of the film out and go along for the ride. There are some seriously gory murders sprinkled throughout the film as well.

Madhouse lays on the mood early on and never lets up. It's peppered with a few shocking moments of violence including the (off screen) death of a child. I'd say the first 45 minutes to an hour are pretty excellent and seem to be building towards something really exciting. Then comes the twist which isn't a bad one in and of itself, but the way it's revealed is so clunky and leads to about the most poorly paced and unexciting chase sequence in horror history. After surviving that scene, Madhouse gets back on track and does deliver the exciting conclusion you'd hoped for.