Mother's Day (I) (2016)
Matthew Walker: Randy the Clown
Quotes
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Sandy : That was a historic disaster. Oh... I mean, this is all so stupid. This is so stupid. Look at all this. What am I doing? I mean, you know... Ugh, I feel like such an idiot. So, what I'm basically doing is I'm trying to compete with my ex-husband and a 20-year-old. That just makes a lot of sense, right, Jess? It's stupid. You know what it is? I just... I just hate feeling so replaceable.
Randy the Clown : Well, sadly we all are.
Sandy : Oh, geez, you scared the crap out of me.
Randy the Clown : I mean, we're all replaceable. For every professional clown, there's 100 hacks with a red nose and a wig waiting to do the job.
Sandy : Yeah, I understand. Thanks, clown. Jesse?
Randy the Clown : There's no way that the bond you have with your kids can ever be broken. I mean, there's no contest, right? You're their mom.
Sandy : Mmm-hmm.
Randy the Clown : Oh, let me help.
Sandy : Oh... Thank... Okay.
Randy the Clown : Yeah? See?
Sandy : It's this, I get it, never-ending scarf bit. Yeah, it's the first time you got to use this one today, huh?
Randy the Clown : Ah... Got a smile from you.
Sandy : That's great. Do you mind if I rub...
Randy the Clown : Please.
Sandy : Thank you very much.
Randy the Clown : It's always the traditional things that work, the bottomless sleeve hanky, the bottomless cup of coffee, the bottomless love from a mother to her kids. They know it's there. Sometimes they just take it for granted.
Sandy : Yeah.
Randy the Clown : So what if the other girl is 20, has great skin and probably looks insane in a bikini?
Sandy : Okay, that's good, I get it. Nice pep talk there, clown. Thank you, clown. Never thought I'd ever hear myself say that, but thank you, clown.
Randy the Clown : My pleasure.
Sandy : Mmm. A heart-to-heart with a clown. There was not a soul to see that. He could have murdered me.