Scared Shrekless (2010 TV Movie)
Mike Myers: Shrek
Photos
Quotes
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Shrek : [Castle Duloc has become run-down; to Donkey] Look! It's that little thingy you love so much, remember?
Creepy Clockwork Chorus : [Shrek pulls the lever on the Information Booth, and the same mechanized marionettes pop out singing, this time looking very deranged] Welcome to Duloc/It's a creepy town/It was once pristine/Now it's all run down. We will chop off your head/And then laugh when you're dead/Duloc is a creepy place.
Creepy Clockwork Chorus : Come on in with your head,/Come lie down, break your... face/Duloc is... Duloc is... Duloc is a cre-py... place!
Shrek : [booth takes their picture, captioning it "Get Out"] Ooh! Let's do that again!
Donkey : NO!
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Shrek : Well, it looks like it's just you and me.
Donkey : Go ahead, Shrek. There ain't nothing that can scare me.
Shrek : Well, then I guess there's nothing left to do but wait for the ghost.
Donkey : What ghost?
Shrek : Lord Farquaad's ghost. And as I recall, you had a hand in his untimely demise.
Donkey : Aw, come on. Everyone knows ghosts are just an urban legend.
Shrek : Is it?
[suddenly the chandeliers start swinging]
Donkey : Oh, that's just the wind.
Creepy voice : Donkey!
Donkey : And apparently it knows my name.
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Donkey : Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even a little bit scared?
Princess Fiona : Donkey, ogres don't get scared. We do the scaring.
Shrek : And that's why we're the kings of Halloween.
Donkey : I beat we can find something that will scare the pants off you!
Wolf : Which would scare me.
Shrek : Oh, really? And what do you have in mind?
Donkey : All of us telling scary stories all night long. There ain't no way you won't be scared.
Puss in Boots : Yes! Stories to make your blood run cold!
Donkey : Yeah!
Puss in Boots : Stories to terrify you.
Donkey : Yeah!
Puss in Boots : And whoever shall last through the night shall be called the king of Halloween.
Shrek : I accept.
Donkey : We doubly accept.
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Shrek : Oh, wow. Terrifying. I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now.
Princess Fiona : Happy Halloween, everyone.
Donkey : Oh, man.
Gingerbread Man : [to Donkey] I thought you said this was gonna scare 'em.
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Shrek : Buckle up, everybody. The quicker I scare the wits out of you, the sooner I can be home, cozy in my bed. Unless anyone else thinks they've got what it takes.
Pinocchio : Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me! I have a scary story!
Wolf : This isn't the one about you getting trapped in the petting zoo again, is it? 'Cause that's not scary.
Pinocchio : Actually, if you look at it with *my* perspective...
Gingerbread Man : Hey, guess what, Pinocchio, no one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy, and it's all true! Ahem. It was a dark and stormy night...
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Pinocchio : Eww! I'm too young to have termites!
The Cricket : I'm no termite, Pinocchio. I'm a cricket.
Pinocchio : You were the voice in my head this whole time?
The Cricket : That's right. I'm was the one putting all those those thoughts in your noggin. I'm your conscience, and as long as I as you let me, I'll always be in...
[Pinocchio squashes him]
Shrek : The end.
Pinocchio : That wasn't me! I never had any bugs in my head. Ha ha. Ask anyone!
Shrek : Okay, then. Why don't we ask start by asking your conscience!
[shows Pinocchio a cricket in his hand]
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Princess Fiona : Hmm. I got 7 eggs.
Shrek : Perfect.
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Shrek : Felicia.