- Mike Heck: Finding a job is a job.
- Axl Heck: I'd like to quit that job.
- Mike Heck: Well, the only way to quit that job is to get a job. That's why you're going with me to the Orson Job Fair.
- Axl Heck: Oh God. When do I get time for myself? Job fair? More like unfair.
- [leaves]
- Mike Heck: When a fine young man like that can't get a job, what hope is there for the rest of us?
- Sue Heck: Flyers are super important, Brick. I did flyers when I lost for student council, and when I lost for Teen Board, and when I lost for junior high Homecoming Court. I just don't think you get it.
- Axl Heck: No funnel cake, no rides. Ugh, this fair sucks. Let's just get our jobs and get out of here.
- Frankie Heck: You think it's funny, huh? I don't think it's funny. You know why? 'Cause Brick's not a nerd. Doesn't make sense. Not a good joke. Unless it's ironic. Is that why you're laughing? Because of the extreme unnerdiness of my son?
- Megan: Are you a teacher?
- Frankie Heck: Oh.
- [laughs]
- Frankie Heck: Yeah, you wish I was a teacher. Your school laws don't apply to me... Megan. So I assume Brick can count on your vote for historian?
- Sue Heck: If he got the first thing he tried out for, how is he ever going to grow as a person? Actually, I feel sorry for him.
- Frankie Heck: We all do, honey.
- Mike Heck: How about that brother of yours, huh? Nailed it on his first try. God, I'm proud of that kid. I haven't felt like this since Axl went to regionals.
- Sue Heck: I have character.