Family Guy (TV Series)
Back to the Woods (2008)
James Woods: James Woods
Photos
Quotes
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David Letterman : Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen. Now please welcome out next guest Mr.James Woods.
[Peter shows up in a suit]
David Letterman : Wait a minute, you're not James Woods.
Peter Griffin : [shows Dave his cards] Oh I believe I am. Driver's licence. Social Security. American Master Card.
James Woods : What the hell is he doing?
David Letterman : Wow, I guess you are James Woods. Now let me understand what are you here to promote James?
Peter Griffin : Well Dave I have a hilarious new comedy coming out on HBO next month. It's all about 9/11. The movie's called September 11 Two thousand Fun.
[Audience gasps]
James Woods : No. No. No. No. No.
David Letterman : James that sounds unbeliveably offensive to Americans.
Peter Griffin : What you haven't heard what the movie's all about. I play a window washer who has just finished washing the last window of the World Trade Center and then I turn around to get off the scaffold and what do I see coming, a plane. And I go 'Come on'. You it's real old style comedy. It's like two pies in the face and one in the field of Pennsylvania.
David Letterman : James, I don't want to hear anymore about this.
Peter Griffin : And the voice of the plane is David Spade.
James Woods : What, I would never work with David Spade. That dwarf, that skinny chicken shit.
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James Woods : You're in a lot of trouble Griffin, you motherfucker!
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James Woods : [Woods has stolen Peter's identity and evicts him from the house] Not so fast, pal. Those are my clothes.
Peter Griffin : Oh, come on!
Joe Swanson : You heard him fella, take 'em off. Right down to the poop sack.
[Woods and Peter look at him, confused]
Joe Swanson : What? You all don't wear a poop sack? DAMMIT, BONNIE! YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT THE POOP SACK!