Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Twice Burned (1997)

George Segal: Jack Gallo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maya Gallo : There are plenty of good schools.

  Jack Gallo : I don't want a good school for Hannah. I want the best school, and I can make this happen. I am the Can Do King.

  Maya Gallo : Says who?

  Jack Gallo : This mug.

  [lifts mug that says "Can Do King"] 

  Maya Gallo : Well, I can't argue with you there, even if I am the World's Greatest Golfer.

  [drinks from mug that says "World's Greatest Golfer"] 

• Jack Gallo : I must have some connections. Woodbridge. Woodbridge. Who do I know went to Woodbridge?

  Maya Gallo : Uh, me? I went to Woodbridge.

  Jack Gallo : That can't be right, I would have remembered. There would have been plays and recitals... oh.

  Dennis Finch : Those of you on the left side of the tram may want to take out your cameras for this awkward family moment.

• Jack Gallo : I'm entering everyone's birthdays into my computer. Maya, when's yours?

  Maya Gallo : You're kidding, right?

  Jack Gallo : It's just that you have one of those birthdays that's hard to remember.

  Maya Gallo : January first?

• Jack Gallo : I need you to come to Woodbridge with me, to tell them what a great father I am.

  Maya Gallo : Oh, you want me to lie.

  Jack Gallo : Not lie, just have some fun with the truth.

  Maya Gallo : I can have fun with the truth. I used to be good at having fun with the truth. Like when you didn't come to my sweet sixteen party, I told my friends that you were donating a kidney.

  Jack Gallo : I'm a giver.

  Maya Gallo : And when you weren't there when I had the lead role in Oklahoma, I told them you were in an avalanche.

  Jack Gallo : My worst nightmare.

  Maya Gallo : And when you weren't at my high school graduation, I told everyone you were hunting Nazis in Argentina.

  Jack Gallo : I hate Nazis. Always have.

  Maya Gallo : And then there was the time I realized everyone knew I was lying, and that's when having fun with the truth stopped being fun.

  Jack Gallo : Please, don't do it for me. Do it for Hannah.

  [speaks in high-pitched voice while holding picture of Hannah] 

  Jack Gallo : Pwease, big sister. I wanna go to the good school.

  Maya Gallo : Fine, I'll do it. But that is the most annoying voice I have ever heard.

  [opens door, the screeching sound of Cholera Joe Hopper singing is playing outside]