- Dennis Finch: I know the recipe for romance. One cup of love, two cups of crap and sprinkle on the moxie.
- Nina Van Horn: And how does this meal end?
- Dennis Finch: Like all good meals: with me satisfied, sleepy and searching for a mint.
- Nina Van Horn: Once again, modern Western tailoring has failed us. Well, I know this man in Chinatown, Mr. Chan, who can sew butter onto bread, even if he is blind and has no thumbs.
- Elliot DiMauro: I need you to distract him. Just don't talk about Binnie or anything that happened in the seventies.
- Nina Van Horn: Just handcuff me, why don't ya?
- Nina Van Horn: The only way he could be having an affair is if he were having a midlife crisis, wihch we know he is not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to fix the man's high school jacket.
- Elliot DiMauro: Romance is like a tango.
- Dennis Finch: Yesterday you said the stock market was like a tango.
- Elliot DiMauro: It is.
- Elliot DiMauro: Jack, don't you think romance is like a tango?
- Jack Gallo: Yesterday you said the subway system was like a tango.
- Elliot DiMauro: It is.
- Elliot DiMauro: [showing Maya his new digital camera] Check this out. 1,200 by 900 dpi.
- Maya Gallo: What does that mean?
- Elliot DiMauro: You know, it's digital, it's a very complicated process. I don't have time to explain it.
- Maya Gallo: You don't know, do you?
- Elliot DiMauro: You open it up and there's no film, Maya!
- Nina Van Horn: Mr. Chan can wield his needle like a samurai, even if he has only one leg and a metal cup where his nose should be.
- Nina Van Horn: Mr. Chan stayed up all night to make it perfect.
- Maya Gallo: Even if he is just a floating head in a jar.
- Jack Gallo: Is that a new camera?
- Elliot DiMauro: It sure is. Completely digital. Has an 8000-pixel viewfinder and an 18-bit filter.
- Jack Gallo: What does that mean?
- Elliot DiMauro: I'm not sure, but it sure is shiny.
- Jack Gallo: That's comforting coming from our head of photography.
- Nina Van Horn: Dennis, I need Baxter the intern to run an errand for me.
- Dennis Finch: The last time he did that he ended up in a Mexican prison.
- Elliot DiMauro: So you guys claim to have the world's best blueberry pie. I'll be the judge of that.
- Waitress: Oh, no, it's the great pie judge. What if you don't like it? I'll have to return to my village in shame.
- Nina Van Horn: Mr. Chan could sew the clouds into a coat for God, even if he's only four feet tall and has an extra row of teeth.