- Jack Gallo: I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I've decided that the all G-string issue is the wrong direction for this magazine.
- Maya Gallo: Dad, I for one am standing by your decision.
- Jack Gallo: Which is why we're doing a special feature on nipple glitter instead.
- Dennis Finch: Woo-hoo!
- [singing]
- Dennis Finch: They're bright and sparkly, I touch them in the darkly. Everybody!
- [pause]
- Dennis Finch: Classic Finch. It's good stuff.
- Betsy Frayne: You know, if you ever want to have sex with me, the door's always open.
- Dennis Finch: What?
- Betsy Frayne: And some of the windows, too.
- Dennis Finch: From now on, no more Finchines. I'm dropping everything. Whoo! Yes, this is nice.
- Irish Bartender: [with accent] Can I draw ya another pint?
- Dennis Finch: [imitating accent] Yes, I would like another pint.
- Irish Bartender: Is this some kind of joke?
- Dennis Finch: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Irish Bartender: Are you making fun of me, boy-o?
- Dennis Finch: No, I'm not, I just want me pint!
- Irish Bartender: Quit talking like me!
- Dennis Finch: What are you talking about... Oh, sweet mother Mary!
- Irish Bartender: Stop it right now!
- Dennis Finch: I'm tryin', McRyan, I'm tryin'!
- Irish Bartender: [Grabs Dennis] I've had enough of you!
- Dennis Finch: Help me, O'Sullivan!
- Nina Van Horn: For your protection, I think you should carry a gun too.
- [takes a gun out of her purse]
- Maya Gallo: You can't give Dennis a gun.
- Nina Van Horn: You're right. The recoil would drop him right in his ass. Here, take this.
- [takes out a switchblade]
- Nina Van Horn: Remember, it's stab and twist! Stab and twist!
- Elliot DiMauro: What did I say this morning?
- Nina Van Horn: That Maya's face was looking puffy?
- Elliot DiMauro: I never said that.
- Nina Van Horn: No one said it, but it was the elephant in the room.
- Maya Gallo: Elliot, what was that you told me about the way you walk?
- Elliot DiMauro: I took it from Al Pacino. Watch this.
- [walks back and forth]
- Jack Gallo: More like Al Paqueeno.
- Maya Gallo: I don't know what to say.
- Nina Van Horn: Well, I do! Your whole life has been a lie. I mean, who are you, really? You could be an old black woman, and we'd never know. But here's a few things we do know. One: I look great all the time; Two: Maya will die alone; and Three: you have completely freaked us out!
- Dennis Finch: You all feel this way?
- Maya Gallo: Except for the part about me dying alone.