Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)
The Gift Piggy (2001)
David Spade: Dennis Finch
Quotes
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Jack Gallo : Hey, is that a tarantula?
Kevin Liotta : She's my pet.
Dennis Finch : That's no pet. A pet is something you can hug and cuddle and dress up like a pirate.
Kevin Liotta : Kinda like you.
Dennis Finch : I outrank you.
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Jack Gallo : Ah, yes, the lion. That is Nature's one true killing machine.
Kevin Liotta : What about the shark?
Jack Gallo : Fine. The shark and the lion, nature's two true killing machines.
Dennis Finch : Jack, it's your ex-wife.
Jack Gallo : Three true killing machines.
Dennis Finch : ...and her lawyer.
Jack Gallo : My point is, danger is everywhere.
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Dennis Finch : The automobile: pillar of Western civilization. But in the wrong hands, she can be deadly. I am Professor Finch. as in First In Not Causing Harm.
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Elliot DiMauro : What are you doing here?
Dennis Finch : This may surprise you, but scraping the seeds off Jack's bagel doesn't complete me.
Elliot DiMauro : Why traffic school?
Dennis Finch : Because I'm good at it, and by the way, it's traffic academy.