Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)
Slow Donnie (1999)
David Cross: Donnie DiMauro
Quotes
-
Donnie DiMauro : [singing] Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot Pie!
-
Jack : Hey, Donnie. I think I finally have these tubes figured out.
Donnie DiMauro : [quietly] Kill me now.
Jack : See, it's hot air that pushes things through the tubes.
Donnie DiMauro : Donnie says vacuum.
Jack : Boy, when you get an idea in your head, you stick to it like taffy. See, when air gets hot, it rises.
Donnie DiMauro : Vacuum!
Jack : No, hot air. It's what causes a Pop-Tart to pop out of the toaster, or how helicopters...
Donnie DiMauro : [normal voice] Oh, for the love of God! It's not hot air! It's not magnets! It's a vacuum, Jacko! Like a straw! You ever use a straw, huh, lab partner? Air taken out from one end is replaced from the other end, that creates air pressure that propels things through the freaking tubes!
[Notices everyone is looking]
Donnie DiMauro : [slow Donnie voice] I love you, tubes.
[everyone still stares]
Donnie DiMauro : Green quarter.
[still staring]
Donnie DiMauro : Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie!
Elliot : Donnie, what the hell?
Donnie DiMauro : [normal voice] Oh, crap. Now I gotta get a job.
-
Donnie DiMauro : Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot Piiiiiiiiiiiiiie!
-
Donnie DiMauro : Donnie has secret. Promise not to tell anybody?
Maya : I promise.
Donnie DiMauro : You swear? Cross your heart?
Maya : Cross my heart.
Donnie DiMauro : On a stalk of bible books?
Maya : I swear.
Donnie DiMauro : [normal voice] Okay, here's the thing. I'm not really slow. I just faked falling off that tree, and now they wait on me hand and foot. It is the sweetest scam in the world.
-
Donnie DiMauro : Donnie wants a kiss.
Maya : Oh, that's... sweet.
Donnie DiMauro : Kissy?
Maya : Oh, why not?
[kisses Donnie on the cheek]
Donnie DiMauro : No, Donnie want a kiss like on Showtime.
-
Donnie DiMauro : My pants are tight!
-
Donnie DiMauro : So, wanna go out later? Have a little sake? Get a little weird?
-
Donnie DiMauro : I'm Donnie with a D. Green quarter.
Maya : What?
Elliot : He likes it when people give him money.
Maya : Oh, um... here.
Donnie DiMauro : [throws away quarter] Green quarter!
Elliot : He likes paper money.
-
Donnie DiMauro : Donnie want to climb tree!
[quietly, to Maya]
Donnie DiMauro : That's a metaphor. You're the tree.
-
Donnie DiMauro : Ha-ha, you're small!
Dennis : Just walk away, he's very special.
-
Donnie DiMauro : I love you, Ma.
Rhoda DiMauro : You see? That makes it all worth while.
Donnie DiMauro : I love you, table.
-
Donnie DiMauro : Don't worry, I'm not really dumb. I'm only slow in the good ways.
-
Donnie DiMauro : Donnie's not stupid! Donnie's stupendous!