- Maya Gallo: I once did a report on the dangers of plastic surgery, and do you know what the statistics say?
- Nina Van Horn: Yes, that nine out of ten men prefer women with big boobs.
- Elliot DiMauro: And the tenth guy preferred the other nine men.
- Jack Gallo: Where's the speech to the publishers?
- Dennis Finch: On your computer. It's on a file marked, and try to follow me, Speech to the Publishers.
- Jack Gallo: Ha! Computers.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, scary. But you'll get used to them, just like fire.
- [Nina has on fake breasts]
- Elliot DiMauro: Do you have a permit for those?
- Nina Van Horn: Don't you just love'em? They say, "Here I am!"
- Elliot DiMauro: Actually, they say, "Moo, I hope some frat guy doesn't tip me over."
- [Nina is looking at herself in the toaster]
- Elliot DiMauro: That's a toaster, Nina. You'd know that if you ever ate anything.
- Nina Van Horn: I'm thinking of getting a face lift.
- Elliot DiMauro: Well, be sure you get a second opinion from the blender.
- Nina Van Horn: Maybe a boob job. Big breasts seem to be back in this season.
- Elliot DiMauro: Frankly, I can't understand why they ever went out.
- Dennis Finch: Please, I've had enough contact with dominant females.
- Maya Gallo: Yes, but unlike the gorilla, I won't be giving you a tongue bath.
- Jack Gallo: As my father used to say, "the only job to be ashamed of is a job poorly done."
- Dennis Finch: What did he do?
- Jack Gallo: He wrote inspirational sentences on posters.
- Dennis Finch: I'm not a secretary!
- Elliot DiMauro: I'm confused. Don't you file, and answer phones, and type letters?
- Dennis Finch: What's your point?
- Elliot DiMauro: You're not an astronaut.
- Nikki: How did you fell in?
- Dennis Finch: Well, as I told channels two, four and seven, I was saving a toddler who was perched on the rail.
- Elliot DiMauro: Really? My cousin works at the zoo. He said you were running from a peacock.
- Dennis Finch: A. I was jogging, B. your cousin's a liar, and C. some peacocks are poisonous.
- Jack Gallo: See what happens when you leave in the middle of a workday?
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, the Banana Council offers you three times your salary to be their spokesman.
- Maya Gallo: Wow, that's great. Isn't it, dad?
- Jack Gallo: Yes, we're all very impressed you fell into the monkey pit.
- Nina Van Horn: I know what this is about. You want to have the biggest breasts in the office.
- Maya Gallo: Curses! You've caught on to my evil plot to use my bosoms to take over this magazine, and one day, the world!
- Jack Gallo: How long have you been with me, Dennis?
- Dennis Finch: Eight years.
- Jack Gallo: No kidding? That's longer than any of my marriages.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, but I bet they got more money off ya.
- Dennis Finch: I know what you're trying to do, but you wouldn't understand. In this town, you are your job, and I'm about one inch away from wearing a hair net.
- Maya Gallo: I hoped you're proud of yourself. Dennis came to you with a problem, and do you help him?
- Jack Gallo: Yes. I thought he left here very inspired.
- Maya Gallo: Oh, Lord, you quoted grandpa.