- Nina Van Horn: So sorry I'm late. My friend Binnie and I had a huge fight. Her new fiancee moved into the apartment, and suddenly there are rules about smoking next to his oxygen tent.
- Dennis Finch: Poor Maya. Once again you've embarrassed yourself.
- [puts feet on table, has on fuzzy slippers]
- Maya Gallo: What's with the slippers?
- Dennis Finch: Calm down. They're not real fur.
- Maya Gallo: There's Elliot's cover girl. Gosh, I bet she's bright. "Hello, I'm a skinny model. Do you like my purse? It's smarter than I am."
- Dennis Finch: [funny voice] "Hi there, Finch. Can you give me a spanking?" Wait, what are we playing?
- Jack Gallo: [working on a crossword] Four letters. Ancient Yucatan inhabitant.
- Kaylene: Maya.
- Maya Gallo: Please, I'm thinking.
- Kaylene: No, that's the answer. An ancient Yucatan inhabitant is a Maya.
- Jack Gallo: Oh, my God! That's your own name, and you didn't get it!
- Dennis Finch: I've been between apartments ever since my wife passed away.
- Nina Van Horn: She's not dead.
- Dennis Finch: It's a coping strategy, my doctor said it's fine!
- Maya Gallo: I have an idea. Sex and the internet.
- Jack Gallo: Ooh!
- Maya Gallo: Recent appellate court decisions...
- Jack Gallo: Oh...
- Maya Gallo: She's a model, isn't she?
- Elliot DiMauro: I don't think it's really any of your business.
- Maya Gallo: So it is a model. She must be from this month's issue, because you've dated all the old ones. Let's see, could it be page 24? Or page 48?
- Elliot DiMauro: Maya, it's embarrassing. Just close the magazine.
- Maya Gallo: I'm sorry.
- [closes magazine]
- Elliot DiMauro: [points at cover] It's her.
- Elliot DiMauro: You'll be happy to hear that Kaylene broke up with me. So run off and alphabetize your CDs, or whatever you do to celebrate.
- Nina Van Horn: You know, I'm going to treat you differently from now on.
- Dennis Finch: Me too.
- Nina Van Horn: Except during the day, when I'll continue to make fun of your puny physique and how you never get any sex.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah. And don't expect me to ease up on the jokes on your sluttiness and, you know, glug-glug-glug.
- Patient: Why don't you go out with him? Take your own advise.
- Maya Gallo: You have a pen stuck up your nose.
- Patient: Do I?
- [takes half of pen out of nose]
- Patient: Or is this just a great way to meet women?