- Jack Gallo: Dennis, what's that body part that sounds dirty but is not?
- Dennis Finch: Uvula.
- Jack Gallo: Thank you.
- Jack Gallo: Rock stars are pathetic. They are always surrounded by fawning groupies and yes men who tell them what they want to hear. Am I right, Dennis?
- Dennis Finch: Of course, Chief. You've done it again.
- Jack Gallo: Everyone's so excited about this Simon Leeds. What's so great about him?
- Dennis Finch: The chunky girl from PR threw her panties at him.
- Jack Gallo: There was a time chunky girls from PR used to throw their panties at me.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, but they were called bloomers, and the Wright Brothers owned a bike shop.
- Simon Leeds: You are like two 25 year olds, or three 17 year olds, only better because we can fit in a small car.
- Maya Gallo: I wish I was old enough to have partied in the seventies.
- Nina Van Horn: Don't worry about it, Maya. We wouldn't have invited you anyway.
- Dennis Finch: Good morning, Vicki.
- [drops pencils]
- Dennis Finch: Oops, clumsy me.
- Vicki Costa: You are so childish. You did that on purpose so I can bend over while you watch.
- Dennis Finch: Did I? Or did I do it so I can bend over while you watch?
- Nina Van Horn: I can't stand Simon Leeds. In 1975 he spilled his Bloody Mary all over my one-of-a-kind white Halston dress.
- Maya Gallo: Nina, that was twenty years ago.
- Nina Van Horn: The fact is, he never apologized to me, or to David Bowie, who was wearing it at the time.
- Jack Gallo: The point is, I have let my image slip. I need something to spruce it up.
- Dennis Finch: How about a monocle? Like Colonel Klink.
- Jack Gallo: He was a Nazi!
- Dennis Finch: Not just any Nazi. America's favorite Nazi.
- Maya Gallo: May I make a suggestion? Don't sleep with him.
- Nina Van Horn: Not sleep with him? That's like telling Picasso not to paint, or you not to... What is it you do?
- Maya Gallo: I'm good at Scrabble.
- Nina Van Horn: I don't know what that is.