Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)
La Cage (1997)
Enrico Colantoni: Elliot DiMauro
Quotes
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Elliot DiMauro : [on Dennis' clothes] I didn't know Gap for Kids had a pimp department.
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Dennis Finch : Could have warned me about the cage.
Elliot DiMauro : Yeah, I'm going around telling everyone I was locked in a cage. I warned you to stay away from her. You are going to stay away from her, right?
Dennis Finch : Yes, definitely... Probably not.
Elliot DiMauro : She put you in a cage.
Dennis Finch : Well, when you think about it, we all live in a cage. Isn't society, by nature, the biggest cage of all?
Elliot DiMauro : Society doesn't take the key with it when it goes to Starbucks.
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Elliot DiMauro : Licking stamps?
Dennis Finch : Yeah, I was. Now I'm just answering obvious questions.
Nikki Ellston : Hi. Licking stamps?
Dennis Finch : Good question. Yes, I am.
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Elliot DiMauro : Nina, I told you I'd never work with Nikki Ellston.
Nina Van Horn : I thought you said Mickey Rooney.
Elliot DiMauro : Why would I say Mickey Rooney?
Nina Van Horn : Oh, that's right. *I* won't work with Mickey Rooney. Don't ask.
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Elliot DiMauro : This is the beginning of your worst nightmare.
Dennis Finch : No, my worst nightmare involves being covered in frogs.
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Elliot DiMauro : She left you in the woods, buddy. Nice girls don't do that.
Dennis Finch : Yeah! There were bees, and other loud things.
Nikki Ellston : Those were just tree frogs.
Dennis Finch : Tree frogs? Good God! If I had known that earlier, I would have run into a big rock and killed myself!
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Dennis Finch : Hey.
Elliot DiMauro : Finch, this is an intervention.
Dennis Finch : [to Nina] Ha, ha, ha! I knew those weren't vitamins!
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Elliot DiMauro : We have to stop Finch, before it turns into Fatal Attraction.
Jack Gallo : I loved that movie! He goes out with a woman once, and she becomes totally obsessed. Gotta boost a man's ego.
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Elliot DiMauro : You don't understand. Nikki, she... she has a wild side.
Dennis Finch : Oh, poor, puritanical, horse-and-buggy-driving Jedediah.
Elliot DiMauro : You're going to regret this.
Dennis Finch : The only thing I regret is not putting talcum on under these pants.
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Maya Gallo : Why can't you let Finch have this one? You go out with thousands of models all the time.
Elliot DiMauro : You don't understand. Nikki is crazy.
Maya Gallo : You're so jealous.
Elliot DiMauro : I'm not saying Nikki's crazy because I'm jealous. I'm saying she's crazy because she is crazy.
Nikki Ellston : Hi, Elliot.
Elliot DiMauro : Oh, hey, Nikki! This is Maya Gallo.
Nikki Ellston : Maya Gallo. You wrote that article about teen heroin addicts in the Village Voice.
Maya Gallo : Yes.
Nikki Ellston : I read that piece. I was really moved.
Maya Gallo : Thank you.
[Nikki leaves]
Maya Gallo : Wow. You weren't kidding. What a loon.
Elliot DiMauro : Believe me, she makes a good first impression.
Maya Gallo : Yes. When I was little I was petrified that there was a monster under my bed that would complement my work.
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Maya Gallo : You were right, Elliot. She is nuts.
Elliot DiMauro : I told you. Now let's get him before she sends him to a biker bar in a sundress.
Maya Gallo : How do you know that?
Elliot DiMauro : I just know, okay?
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Dennis Finch : The cage was the last straw for you, wasn't it?
Elliot DiMauro : Right after the cage. And a little time after that - boom! - it was over.