- Dr. Leonard Green: [Rachel has asked Phoebe to go to dinner, to help her tell her father she is pregnant] Why don't I order everyone the Mandarin chicken?
- Phoebe: I don't eat meat.
- Dr. Leonard Green: It's chicken!
- Phoebe: Yeah; well, I don't eat that, either.
- Dr. Leonard Green: [shaking his head] I'll never understand you lesbians.
- Joey: [on answering machine] Hey, Ross - it's Joey. There's a hooker over here, and we thought you'd know something about it.
- Dr. Leonard Green: So what's new with you?
- Rachel: [hesitating] Uhh, well... I got TiVo!
- Dr. Leonard Green: [confused] What's TiVo?
- Phoebe: It's slang for pregnant!
- Dr. Leonard Green: [after learning from Phoebe that Rachel is pregnant] Are you really pregnant?
- Rachel: Well, yes and no; except not no. Well, to sum it up: Yeah.
- Dr. Leonard Green: Who's the father?
- Dr. Leonard Green: [points to Phoebe] Please, tell me it's not her!
- Rachel: No, no, Daddy; it's Ross - Ross Geller. You like Ross! C'mon, Daddy - you're going to be a grandfather. You're going to be a 'Poppy'!
- Dr. Leonard Green: [sniffling] You're right. I'm going to be a 'Poppy'. OK, when's the wedding?
- Rachel: [intentionally avoiding the question] The who?
- Rachel: [gradually becoming enraged] The wedding! There's going to be a wedding. Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! Rachel Karen Green, tell me there's going to be a wedding!
- Rachel: [nervously, lying] Uh, February 2!
- Phoebe: [Rachel has lied to her father about her upcoming marriage to Ross] I'd like to attend your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. I have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun Bar Mitzvah.
- Ross: [Ross and Mona's intimate moment is interrupted by Rachel's father] Dr. Green?
- Dr. Leonard Green: Alright, Geller - what do you mean getting my Rachel pregnant, and then refusing to marry her?
- Ross: [looks at Mona and then back at Dr. Green] You know, this really isn't a good time.