- Monica Geller-Bing: I want you to have a job that you love not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration.
- Chandler Bing: I quit, and you learn what I do?
- Steve: So, do you have any other questions about advertising?
- Chandler Bing: No, no, but - let me show you what I can do:
- [Chandler picks up a bagel and a donut]
- Chandler Bing: "Bagels and donuts: Round food... for every mood."
- Steve: Monica warned me you might do that.
- Rachel: Who the hell are you?
- Gavin Mitchell: Who the hell are YOU?
- Rachel: I'm the hell person whose office this is.
- Monica Geller-Bing: Okay, it's baby time! Pants off, there, Bing!
- [Monica sees Ross]
- Monica Geller-Bing: Didn't see you there, Geller.
- [Phoebe walks in and hits Joey]
- The Director: Cut!
- Phoebe Buffay: No, I'm mad at him! He slept with me and never called!
- Female Extra #1: Yeah, me too.
- Female Extra #2: Me too.
- Joey Tribbiani: No, she means her character! We need some new extras around here...
- Steve: I actually think we might have something for you at the agency.
- Chandler Bing: Really? That's great!
- Steve: It's an unpaid internship.
- [Chandler is startled]
- Steve: Come on, now. Monica has a good job, and it's not like you have a family to support.
- Chandler Bing: Well, actually, we're trying, and I don't think Monica's gonna wanna postpone it. We're supposed to have sex tonight.
- [Steve looks confused]
- Chandler Bing: Actually, she's probably at home naked right now.
- [Steve appears increasingly uncomfortable]
- Chandler Bing: I tend to keep talking 'til somebody stops me.
- [Steve waits awkwardly]
- Chandler Bing: I can just picture her on the bed right now...
- Steve: Stop!
- Chandler Bing: OK.
- Monica Geller-Bing: You faked it? You couldn't have faked it.
- Chandler Bing: Yes, you can. You just make the faces and the noises.
- Monica Geller-Bing: Guys can fake it? Ugh, unbelievable! The one thing that's ours... Why would you fake it when we're trying to have a baby?