Friends (TV Series)

The One After the Superbowl: Part 1 (1996)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• [to Joey's stalker who thinks he is Drake Ramoray] 

  Joey : I am not Drake.

  Ross : That's right! He is not Drake. He is...

  [looks dramatically into the camera] 

  Ross : Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin!

  Erika Ford : [believes it]  Is this true?

  [Joey is unable to answer, too shocked] 

  Rachel : Yes! Yes, it is true. And I know this, because... Because he pretended to be Drake, to... to sleep with me!

  [Rachel throws water in his face] 

  Monica : And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't!

  [Monica throws water in his face] 

  Chandler : And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!

  [Chandler throws water in his face] 

• Phoebe : [singing in the children's program at the library]  Someday when you get older you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you, but don't!/ 'Cos that's another thing that you don't want to do. Everybody! That's another thing that you don't want to do.

  Monica : Excellent!

  Chandler : Very informative!

  Rachel : Not at all inappropriate!

• [Joey and Ross looking at Chandler in a bathroom stall] 

  Chandler : Joey, I'll give you $50.00 for your underpants.

  Joey : Can't help you, I'm not wearing any underwear.

  Chandler : You're not wearing any underwear?

  Joey : Oh, I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.

• Monica : [reading Joey's letter from his stalker]  Wait a minute; this wasn't mailed to "Days of Our Lives". It wasn't even mailed. Joey, this woman was in our building; she knows where you live.

  Joey : All right! I got my own stalker!

  Chandler : You're so lucky; I have to share my stalker with five other guys at work.

  Rachel : Joey, remember when we talked about good thing-bad thing? This is a baaaad thing.

• Susie : Chandler Bing?

  Chandler : Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?

  Susie : I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse.

  Chandler : Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look... great job growing up.

• Chandler : Hey, just because she thinks she can see Joey through a magic window in her living room does not mean she's not a person. Does she not deserve Happiness, does she not deserve Love?

  [Monica and Rachel exchange glances and then stare back at Chandler] 

  Chandler : Don't look at me, he's the one who wants to boff the maniac!