Quotes
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[on Frasier and Niles]
Martin : Oh, they've always tried to one-up each other.
Daphne : I suppose all brothers are like that. Mine certainly were. Everything was a contest! Who could the run the fastest, jump the highest. They even had this strange one where they'd take little brother Michael, put him in a potato sack and see who could roll him the farthest over the frozen lake out back. They loved that game! Until that year the spring thaw set in early and poor Michael went right through the ice. Ooh, they caught hell for that one, they did. Caught it worse a week later when Michael's toe finally fell off. Michael cried and cried until they told him to put it under his pillow for the toe fairy! And then when he got five quid for it, why it was all they could do to stop him from sawing off the rest of them!
[laughs]
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Daphne : Have a good time. Don't spend too much.
Martin : Oh, don't worry about that. I've got a whole system worked out where I can get everything I want for the minimum bid.
Frasier : Dad, it's hardly in the spirit of the evening. We're raising money for the Kelly Ann Grunther Foundation.
Martin : Oh, baloney. You just want to go there so you can hob-nob with all your snooty friends.
Frasier : Oh, that is not true.
Martin : Oh, yeah? Well, then answer me one question: just who is Kelly Ann Grunther?
Frasier : Kelly Ann Grunther is... the person... responsible for the Kelly Ann Grunther Foundation.
Martin : Well, what does that mean?
Frasier : Well, I guess she's just a very wealthy person that put up a lot of money, right?
Roz Doyle : I thought she had some kind of disease?
Dr. Niles Crane : I always thought she was a scientist doing research.
Martin : So, in other words, it could have been called...
[looks at Eddie]
Martin : the Eddie Eddie-mund Foundation, as long as there was fancy food on silver platters.
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Frasier : I'm going to have to make myself a nice thermos full of coffee and get down to that library.
Martin : Oh Frasier, what do you think you're gonna learn in one night?
Frasier : Just enough to ask some informed questions, Dad. I may not have a 156 IQ, but I'm a quick study. Daphne, is there something wrong with this coffee pot?
Daphne : You have to plug it in!
Frasier : Well there, you won't have to tell me that again!
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Martin : Hey, Daph.
Daphne : Hey. Have a good time at the auction?
Martin : Oh yeah, I got a great new barbecue: the Windsor-monic 2000. I wonder if they name it that because that's the one the Royal Family uses.
Daphne : Oh, I'm sure it is. That's actually the new postage stamp in England: Her Majesty with a pair of barbecue tongs and a sauce brush!
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Dr. Niles Crane : [looking at the monitor on Daphne's computer] What is this, Daphne?
Daphne : I'm chatting online with Donny. Oh, what's he saying?
Dr. Niles Crane : Uh, "I can't wait to come home and see my wittle Engwish cwumpet." Apparently he has some sort of typing impediment.
