A Perfect World (1993)
Kevin Costner: Butch Haynes
Photos
Quotes
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Terry Pugh : [after tearing up phone book upon failing to find his cousin] Must've moved. Probably couldn't have heard him anyway; this goddamn ear's still bleedin'. You ever try that shit again...
Butch Haynes : [sternly] What?
Terry Pugh : [puzzled] ... What?
Butch Haynes : You were in the middle of threatenin' me.
Terry Pugh : [holds up a revolver] Ain't a threat - it's a fact.
Butch Haynes : Here, kid - take the wheel.
[Phillip holds the wheel to steer as Butch turns to face Pugh in the back seat]
Butch Haynes : In two seconds, I'm gonna break your nose. That's a threat.
[Butch punches Pugh in the nose, then picks up the gun as Terry moans]
Butch Haynes : ...And that's a fact.
Terry Pugh : I'm gonna kill you for that.
Butch Haynes : And that's a threat. Begin to understand the difference?
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Butch Haynes : You know, Phillip, you have a goddamn red, white and blue American right to eat cotton candy, ride roller coasters.
Phillip Perry : I do?
Butch Haynes : Hell, yes, you do!
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Butch Haynes : Hey - have you ever ridden in a time machine before?
Phillip Perry : [shakes his head]
Butch Haynes : Well, sure you have - what do you think *this* is?
Phillip Perry : A car.
Butch Haynes : You're lookin' at this thing bass-ackward. This is a 20th-century time machine. I'm the captain...
Butch Haynes : [taps Phillip on the head] And you're the navigator. Out there?
Butch Haynes : [points out front windshield] That's the future. And back there?
Butch Haynes : [taps on the rear view mirror, then points toward the back windshield] Well, that's the past. If life's moving too slow, and you wanna project yourself into the future? Just step on the gas, right here.
Butch Haynes : [steps on the gas pedal] See?
Butch Haynes : [laughing lightly] If you wanna slow her down? Well, hell - you just step on the brake here, and you slow her down.
Butch Haynes : [car comes to a stop] This is the present, Phillip. Enjoy it while it lasts.
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Terry Pugh : [after Butch has Phillip point a pistol at his face] You're a fuckin' crazy man.
Butch Haynes : And that's a fact. I believe you're getting the hang of this.
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Phillip Perry : [after Pugh snatches the car keys] Why'd he take the keys?
Butch Haynes : So I won't leave him.
Phillip Perry : ...*Would* you leave him?
Butch Haynes : ...Oh, yeah.
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Butch Haynes : [after intimidating a woman into giving them supplies by flashing his gun] Never underestimate the kindness of the common man, Phillip.
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Butch Haynes : You ain't so friendly!
[he shoots out the store window]
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Butch Haynes : You and your old man get along alright?
Phillip Perry : Yes, sir.
Butch Haynes : Toss the ball around, play grab-ass in the yard - that sort of thing?
Phillip Perry : No, sir.
Butch Haynes : Why the hell not?
Phillip Perry : He ain't around, really.
Butch Haynes : Well, he is, or he ain't... When's the last time you saw him?
Phillip Perry : [shrugs]
Butch Haynes : ...Me and you got a lot in common, Phillip. The both of us is handsome devils...
Phillip Perry : [smiles]
Butch Haynes : We both like RC cola, and neither one of us got an old man worth a damn.
Phillip Perry : [frowns]
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Butch Haynes : [meeting his Texas Ranger pursuer face-to-face] Do I know you, friend?
Chief Red Garnett : ...No. Not really.
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Butch Haynes : Guys like us, Phillip - we gotta be on our own. To seek foolish destiny... that sort of thing.
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Butch Haynes : Ain't you ever seen your mama kiss a man?
Phillip Perry : No... Kissed her backside, huh?
Butch Haynes : ...Well, it's kinda hard to explain. I... I know how it must've looked... Hell, I - hell, *I* don't know how it looks.
Phillip Perry : You love her?
Butch Haynes : Who?
Phillip Perry : The lady who cooked the hamburgers.
Butch Haynes : ...Yeah, Phillip - yeah, I love her... I kissed her butt, didn't I?
Phillip Perry : [bursts out laughing]
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Butch Haynes : You don't want to get undressed in front of me? Is that it?... You're embarrassed 'cause I might see your pecker?
Phillip Perry : ...It's... puny.
Butch Haynes : What?
Phillip Perry : It's puny.
Butch Haynes : Who told you that?
Phillip Perry : [sits sullenly]
Butch Haynes : Lemme see.
Phillip Perry : [shifts uncomfortably]
Butch Haynes : Go on - I'll shoot you straight.
Phillip Perry : [pulls down shorts]
Butch Haynes : Hell no, Phillip. Good size, for a boy your age.
Phillip Perry : [smiles broadly]
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Butch Haynes : You're a hero! Probably be in all the papers tomorrow - how you saved those folks. Truth is, I don't think I'd have killed 'em, though. Only killed two people in my whole life. One hurt my mama... one hurt you.
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Butch Haynes : You're truly the friendliest clerk I ever met.
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Phillip Perry : Are you gonna shoot me?
Butch Haynes : No - no, no. Me and you are friends... If I was choosin' a runnin' buddy, I'd take you over him any day of the week.
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Phillip Perry : Can we stop at the filling station?
Butch Haynes : What for?
Phillip Perry : Number one.
Butch Haynes : ...This here's nature, Phillip. Why don't you just... pee over by the tree?
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Butch Haynes : Alaska, Phillip - wild and woolly. Man against nature. Me personally, I like them odds.
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Butch Haynes : Can you write?
Phillip Perry : I can print.
Butch Haynes : Good enough. I want you to make up a list, of everything you ever wanted to do, wasn't allowed to.
Phillip Perry : Like what?
Butch Haynes : Like... cotton candy.
Phillip Perry : [writing] Cotton candy...
Butch Haynes : Hell, I don't know, Phillip. It's your list.
Phillip Perry : ...Butch?
Butch Haynes : Yeah?
Phillip Perry : How do you spell rocketship?
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Butch Haynes : If you wanted to go home so bad, why didn't you stay at the store today?
Phillip Perry : 'Cause.
Butch Haynes : 'Cause why?
Phillip Perry : 'Cause - I stole. Put me in jail - probably go to hell.
Butch Haynes : [laughs] Same difference, Phillip. Same difference.
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Butch Haynes : If you and your pals back outta here, uh... I'll drop the boy at the border! If you don't, I'll shoot him in the head. I mean it!
Phillip Perry : [stares at Butch]
Butch Haynes : ...Don't look at me like that. I ain't have a gun... What'd you do with the pistola, anyway?
Phillip Perry : ...Dropped it in the well.
Butch Haynes : ...Good thinkin'.
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Chief Red Garnett : She promises!
Butch Haynes : Make her say it!
Gladys Perry : ...Uh - I promise!
Butch Haynes : Can we trust her?
Phillip Perry : She's a real good mama.
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Robert 'Butch' Haynes : [Phillip, aka 'Buzz', unintentionally shoots Butch at the Mack's family house and Bobby Lee, Fed's marksman, also shots Butch shortly thereafter] Damn, Buzz, shot twice in the same day.
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Butch Haynes : [after Phillip nervously picks up the revolver] Point it at me.
Phillip Perry : [looks at Butch, confused]
Butch Haynes : Point it!
Phillip Perry : [points it at Butch, uncertain]
Butch Haynes : Now say, "Stick 'em up!"
Phillip Perry : ...St- stick 'em up.
Butch Haynes : [laughs] ... Perfect.
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Butch Haynes : You feel like a hike?
Phillip Perry : How far?
Butch Haynes : Can't be more than - oh, say... fifteen hundred miles.
Phillip Perry : [looks up, stunned and worried]
Butch Haynes : You're probably right. Go give our supplies a check.
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Phillip Perry : [on the family they have deserted along the road] They look funny.
Butch Haynes : Maybe. But Bob did the right thing. What if he'd put up a fight? I mighta had to shoot him.
Phillip Perry : [turns to Butch, angry]
Butch Haynes : And where would that family be then? No, Bob's a fine family man. And that's about the best thing a fella can hope to be.
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Phillip Perry : [seeing the approaching trailer] What is it?
Butch Haynes : Well, it's kinda like a silver whale. And there's people inside, just like old Jonah in the Bible.
Butch Haynes : [honks the horn and pumps his arm in the air] Go like this - maybe they'll honk. Maybe they'll honk back at us.
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Butch Haynes : You Dottie?
Eileen : Eileen. Dottie died. Her son runs the place but, uh... he ain't never here.
Butch Haynes : Never?
Eileen : He leaves around four. You know, not much traffic after lunch.
Eileen : [takes a pickle spear from Butch's plate, sucking it and biting it suggestively, then licks her finger]
Eileen : ...If you need me, I'll be right over here.
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Butch Haynes : Well, one thing's for sure now: I definitely believe in ghosts.
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Butch Haynes : I want you to strut right over to them cops, and yell, "Trick or treat!"
Phillip Perry : What are you gonna do?
Butch Haynes : Somethin' will come to mind.
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Butch Haynes : My mama would dance her ass right out of a frying pan into a backroom fire.
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Phillip Perry : Thank you, Father, for your bountiful nature and goodness.
Butch Haynes : Amen. Now, dig in, Buzz.
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Butch Haynes : We're goin' trick or treatin', Phillip.
Phillip Perry : [stops in his tracks]
Butch Haynes : ...What's the matter now?
Phillip Perry : We ain't allowed to go trick or treatin'.
Phillip Perry : Huh?
Phillip Perry : My mama doesn't allow it.
Butch Haynes : Trick or treatin' - why not?
Phillip Perry : Against our religion.
Butch Haynes : It's against your... against your - what kind of foolishness is that?
Phillip Perry : Jehovah's Witness.
Butch Haynes : ...Now, Phillip, I'm askin' you. I ain't askin' your mother; I ain't askin' Jehovah. You want to go trick or treatin', or not?
Phillip Perry : [thinks for several seconds, then nods determinedly; Butch walks off, and Phillip follows]
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Butch Haynes : Now that you got your... self a ghost suit, think she'll let you trick or treat?
Phillip Perry : I got to do *one* house.
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Butch Haynes : Personally, I think we negotiated a pretty fair deal. Was there somethin' else you want?
Phillip Perry : Do they want to shoot you?
[Butch puts his head down; Phillip kneels and hugs him, crying]